Well...

Matthew: Well, I never thought I’d say this, but I think I know what’s going on in your head.

Damien: Oh, well, then, welcome to the terror dome.

Holy shit yes

ok the steps in their house are a fucking liability.

Snoop Doggy Dog need to get a jobby job

A little girl thought this high school senior posing for prom pictures was a real princess.

👑 👑 👑 

Oh my fucking god why am I laughing at this bullshit?

Everyone: we want more LGBT+ characters in our stories !

Rick Riordan: okay here have a gay Italian sad boy

Everyone: I mean, it’s all right but-…

Rick Riordan: I understand. Want a bisexual main character, who happens to be a god?

Everyone: oh that’s actually nice…but! How about girls-

Rick Riordan: you’re totally right. Here have a pair of lesbian hunters

Everyone: …um this is actually pretty nice…how about-

Rick Riordan: a pansexual main character?

Everyone: yea-

Rick Riordan: with a gender fluid love interest? Say no more! Anything else?

Everyone:

Adorable!!!

Quick doodle

Legit same her face

This lady had me rolling for a good five minutes.

Me AF

sometimes i scroll through stephen king’s twitter and i’m never disappointed

Kathrine(MC): Who broke it? I’m not mad. I just want to know.

James: I did. I broke it.

Kathrine: No. No, you didn’t. Matthew?

Matthew: Don’t look at me. Look at Sam.

Sam: What?! I didn’t break it!

Matthew: Huh, that’s weird. How’d you even know it was broken?

Sam: Because it’s sitting right in front of us and it’s broken!

Matthew: *squints* Suspicious.

Sam: No, it’s not!

Sam: If it matters, Erik was the last one to use it.

Erik: Liar! I don’t even drink that!

Sam: *raises brow* Oh, really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?

Erik: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that!

James: Let’s not fight, I broke it. Let me pay for it, Miss.

Kathrine: No. Who broke it?

Matthew: Kathy, Damien’s been awfully quiet…

Damien: Really?!

Matthew: Yeah, really!

Everyone: *Yelling*

Kathrine: *at the camera* I broke it. It burnt my hand so I punched it.