Ok So I Remember Talking About This With Some Moots Of Mine And I Figured I’d Talk About It Here.
Ok so I remember talking about this with some moots of mine and I figured I’d talk about it here.
Does anyone else fucking hate seeing couples and get extremely disgusted by them, but not in the sense that you’re romance repulsed(Tho I am aegoromantic and semi-romance repulsed), but because you have this burning envy towards them because they have a sense of connection that you desperately want and would do anything to experience?
I get grossed out by couples doing pda shit but I know that subconsciously I really want it, but I feel like I will never be able to get it because of me being aegoromantic and also very distrusting of other people, even my family and friends to an extent.
I’m probably the last person who should be in a relationship. I’m explosive, struggle to communicate my feelings, and am extremely obsessive to the point that I would go nights crying over someone I cared about.
My obsessive tendencies know no bounds.
Oh and need I forget about how black and white my thinking is? I genuinely can’t see people as anything other than completely good or completely bad so I’ll go hot and cold on a person if I like them but they do something I don’t like. Like I’ll love them one day and hate them the next.
Idk I have a problem, but case in point is that I feel like love and romance are too inaccessible to me because of who I am, so I’m just left with a gross pit in my chest every time I see a couple being all cutesy and shit.
It’s excruciating.
More Posts from Pearlykissxoxo and Others
If there ever is someone looking for a magical girl/boy/etc…. PLEASE CONTACT ME I’LL DO ANYTHING I DON’T CARE IF I HAVE TO MAKE A DEAL WITH THE DEVIL!!!
I WILL BE THE MAGICAL DOOMER TO END ALL MAGICAL DOOMERS!!!
"suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem!" dude you are so right. give me a million dollars and fix the entire medical system right now.
Finna put these on my wishlist for Christmas.
Closest I could get to myself.
I wish there were picrews that have an option for split dye hair.
Also I wish I had an ita bag :(
I made myself in this picrew I found last night
I wish I looked this cool irl but wtvr
Here's the link:
Repost with yours if you do it. I wanna see how you guys make yourselves.
WARNING:
POSSIBLE NSFW & SH MENTIONS
I just got a message from I think a bot or maybe a scammer trying to get me to be his sugarbaby or something like that.
I blocked of course but it got me thinking…
Even if it wasn’t a ploy or something I just wanna say:
Bitch in what world am I sugar baby material?😭I’m a hopeless, fat virgin who cuts herself to cope with stress(which doesn’t even work anymore), can’t maintain a healthy friendship to save her life, and will throw a hissy fit when things don’t go exactly as she wants it to go.
I struggle doing minimal tasks such as getting up in the morning, brushing my teeth and taking a shower.
I spent the last two days doing absolutely nothing but sleeping and scrolling on my phone, praying that I get more online attention.
They say people are complex but if I were a rubix puzzle i’d be a fucking dodecahedron.
I’m a mess and I wear that fact on my sleeve.
I doubt that I can handle a relationship, let alone a transactional one.
♡Welcome to My Online Journal♡
I previously had a couple of blogs but I decided to delete them because I got overwhelmed and bored of them. However, I knew I was gonna miss having a Tumblr so I decided to remake one into a blog where I just do whatever I want.
♡Introduction to Me♡
•My name is Kiara, but I also go by Kiran or Kallisto. In any other case though, you can just call me Pearly.
•I use She/He/They + Neopronouns. I am genderfluid and xenogender, as well as alterhuman(Therian, Fictionkin, etc).
•I have AuDHD(Autism + ADHD)
•I’m a huge fan of Alternative and J-Fashion, especially Scene and Jirai Kei. Some aesthetics that I adore are cutecore, mcbling, morute & 2020s Tiktok Alt.
•I primarily speak English, but know basic Spanish and am slowly learning Japanese
•I have a crap ton of ocs and may or may not occasionally use this as a way to catalogue them. If all else fails, I’ll just make a separate blog for them, but who knows?
♡Before You Interact♡
•I will do my best to to not direct too much attention to things like religion or politics, but on the off chance that I do, it’s likely to give my take on a serious issue. I will be sure to give content warnings for when this happens.
•I generally suffer from mental health issues, and may use this as a way to journal some of my thoughts. I’ll refrain from getting too extreme with it, but if you otherwise don’t want to put up with that, I wouldn’t suggest interacting with this blog.
•This blog isn’t suggested for anyone under 16 due to the aforementioned topics.
♡Do Not Interact List♡
DO NOT INTERACT WITH ME IF YOU ARE ANY OF THE FOLLOWING:
•Proshippers
•MAPs/Zoos/Necros
•Homophobes
•Transphobes
•Anti-Xenogender/Neopronouns
•Anti-Therian/Otherkin
•Zionists
•Nazis
•Islamophobes
•Antisemetics
•Political/Religious Extremists
•Right-Wing Conservatives
•Supporters of any of the above.
If there’s anything else I should be aware of, please do let me know!
Other than that, hopefully you enjoy your stay!
♡Other Socials + Pronouns Page♡
Ngl even if I didn’t have it as bad as others it’s still really fucked up thinking about some of the things I went through.
Like maybe I should stop invalidating everything about myself and realize I actually am traumatized….
You ever feel like you’re just not as connected to anyone like you were previously?
Like you’re close with a certain set of people in the sense that you’ve known each other for so long and you’ve been through a lot with them, but you aren’t close with them in a sense that you can have a conversation and not let it die within a minute of talking.
This is how I feel everyday.
My friends, family, everyone. I feel connected to no one anymore, and the loneliness is actually starting to kill me deep down. Each day that passes, I feel myself becoming more and more clouded and desperate to feel at least a little closer to someone.
I’m tired of having these fantasies and other delusions that I am famous and loved and accepted like I want to be.
In fact, I’m hopelessly scrolling through stupid dating apps silently praying that I can get a connection with SOMEONE and maybe feel something other than numbness and guilt, but so far I’ve had no luck.
The internet is all I have, and if I were to lose that.. I think a part of me would die.
Shit I forgot also kin this bitch.
♡Kinlist♡
Feel free to judge me based on who I kin/kith/kinsider. XD
These aren’t in any particular order except for the very top one.
Also disclaimer I am very aware that some of these characters are very morally ambiguous. Just because I kin/kith/kinsider a character doesn’t mean that I exhibit their morals.
Anywho, here they are!
♡Kin: Ame-Chan(Needy Streamer Overload)
♡Kin: Aubrey(Omori)
♡Kin: Stocking Anarchy(Panty & Stocking)
♡Kin: Kotoko Utsugi(Danganronpa)
♡Kin: Konata Izumi(Lucky Star)
♡Kith: Shadow the Hedgehog(Sonic the Hedgehog)
♡Kith: Riamu Yumemi(iDOLM@STER)
♡Kin: Lain Iwakura(Serial Experiments Lain)
♡Kinsidering: Fluttershy(My Little Pony)
♡Kinsidering: Satou Matsuzaka(Happy Sugar Life)
“i love you more!” no you dont, you don’t need me to survive. you can properly function when i’m not around. you’d move on if i left. you don’t love me more, and you never will
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18♉️A cringeworthy, queer internet angel looking for fun. Most pics are from Pinterest.This is a catalogue of my mental illness >:3
107 posts