This Is My Heritage

This is an amazing story

Did you bake the last Amis cake for your neighbour Dottie, or is the world just full of accidental snake throwers?

The world is full of accidental snake throwers!  

I’ve had snakes tossed at me twice myself.  Once during an animal demonstration at the zoo when the keeper holding a corn snake had a sudden and very intense hiccup, and once on an extraordinaily ill-fated middle school backpacking trip when one of the other girls thought she was picking up a necklace in the bushes and instead picked up a garter snake and panicked.

I’ve also had spiders, birds, cats, lizards and on one particularly memorable occasion, a small shark lobbed at me on acident.  It happens, and cake is an appropriate way to apologize.

This definitely has potential

Random idea Sorta Maybe Blind

Clockwork has been teaching Danny how to do pretty much everything blind. why is unknown

Untill now

After a way too close call with his parents/GIW he almost got fully dissected! He decided to initiate plan 42 Stich wounds,Grab shit,and hall ass to Gotham. Gotham has enough ectoplasm for him to stay long term not nearly as much as Amity Park but it has enough

After one pain filled flight he arrives in a dungey bathroom in Gotham. He looks in the mirror and sees

Oh

What the fuck!?!?

Apparently even though Gotham has a decent amount of ectoplasm He didn't know he needed way more to look alive. He looks ill!?! his skin became three shades paler making his bruises and eyebags stand out more. his hair being way more wild than usual and fluffy-er? He somehow looks smaller and skinner than before, and his eyes

Oh ancients his eyes

There still blue but they're diluted they have that heavy milk quality to them and his pupils are permanently dilated. He can see but he looks like he can't

That's why Clockwork taught him how to do things blind so he can pretend to be blind! cuz there's no way people are going to believe that he can see!?!

He grabbed his bag packed and gifted from Sam, Tucker, and Jazz left the bathroom, clossed his eyes, and started to figure out what he should do.

Bruce's adoption sense seems to be tingling He wonders what that's about.

Friend shaped

pigeon friends :)

Bruce comes over and he brings Jason (he only agreed because Roy was going to be there) and Danny is like hooooo boy you are covered in ecto, what is with these billionaires and being ecto contaminated seriously, this is getting bizzare

Jason immediately falls in love with Danny's addicting ecto infused cooking, because his soul is starving, and now Roy's being ordered to bring food for the outlaws anytime they get together

Danny is pretty excited to make food for another not quite living person, because even though Oliver doesn't seem to notice, if too much ecto gets into the food it can change the taste, which non liminals don't tend to like

Fake it till you make it, Star City Kitchen edition.

Danny, outed to the government as a ghostly entity, is not only wanted by the government but unable to find work because of that.

Sam gave him money to help him escape, but an unfortunate run in with more than one gang of meta traffickers blew through that in an instant.

He needs a job. He needs to find a place to sleep.

He decides to answer an ad in a newspaper, for a personal chef for an unnamed person. Is it sketchy? Yes. Is it very likely to be under the table with no government checks? Also yes.

Besides, if it turns out to be someone bad, he can just go invisible and disappear for a bit. It'll be...unfortunate, cuz he'll have to steal what he needs, but it's doable.

He arrives at the meeting place, and there's a car waiting to pick him up.

Okay.

He gets in the car. Secondary location, here he comes.

It drives to a mansion.

Oh no.

It's Oliver Queen.

Oliver Queen put up that ad.

Oliver Queen takes one look at him, hums, and says that Danny is absolutely what he was looking for. That Danny just looks like how a chef should look.

Five minutes later, Danny finds himself in a kitchen larger than his old house, internally panicking and scrolling as fast as he can through cooking lessons on youtube.

Turns out, Danny's got a knack for cooking.

Like, he's actually pretty phenomenal at it.

If the food isn't trying to come back to life and eat him, once he's got the basics down, it's pretty easy to throw together a meal.

~~~~~~

Oliver, sleep deprived and injured, meant to ask Stan to make him something to eat.

Somehow he failed step one of just texting the man, and ended up reaching out to and placing an ad in a local newspaper for a personal chef.

Naturally, when someone answers it, he decides to get them over to his place so he can apologize for his stupidity and pay them the money they lost wasting time going to him.

Except that's a kid.

A dirty, unkempt, homeless teenager.

And...fuck.

Look, Oliver isn't a complete and total jackass, and it's not like the kid can mess up much if he's in the kitchen, of all places.

So he pretends like the ad is legit. Throws the kid in the kitchen.

Accidentally finds out that the kid wasn't fucking lying about being a good chef that was out of practice, holy shit? This food is so good????

Looks into the kid's background, quietly.

...

And in true Green Arrow fashion, uncovers a government conspiracy.

I am all for good dash! He'd be great as a nutritionist for metas if we were to bring in DC, and I feel like he'd have a fucking fit if he was offered a place on the watchtower with the justice league

Dash, now a Junior, has had a Realization. Fenton does not weigh nearly enough.

He was doing his usual thing, picking on the dweeb but toned down because he's Maturing With Age, when he decided to pick Fenton up. Just to make fun of him for being short, that was all.

But Fenton weighs practically nothing.

Fenton wriggled out of his grip and scurried away with his friends, but Dash couldn't stop thinking about how...concerning. That was.

Dash starts looking up nutrition.

Starts paying attention in Health Class.

Starts watching cooking channels to learn how to cook.

Starts making more food than he can eat, balanced nutritionally for Fenton, and sitting menacingly in front of the dweeb until said dweeb ate the whole thing.

Starts stalking up behind Fenton and shoving snacks into his backpack, with whispered threats against his wellbeing if he didn't eat them.

Dash, over the course of his Junior year, becomes the school's most terrifying fitness coach the student body have ever seen.

And he charges everyone for his services; except Fenton.

He's decided forcing Fenton to be healthy is his new, socially acceptable way of bullying him.

He has no idea what to do, because he's not trans, but also that's so sweet?!?? And like?!? His goons are the best

Random goon: Hey boss, were you the one to pick that name as an alias? And why this one?

Red Hood : I used to have another name, before... A long time ago. But that person is dead now. I get to choose for myself now, they can't take that from me. I won't let them.

Goon: Huh.

***

Random Goon: Say boss, why do you never take off your shirt in front of us?

Red Hood: Well uh, I actually have that really fucked scar on my chest and I'm not comfortable with...

Random Goon: Don't worry boss, we get it, you don't have to explain yourself to us.

***

Red Hood, high on some toxin: God, I wish my family...

Random Goon (on boss-sitting duty): why not try reaching out to them?

Red Hood: They would never accept me as I am now... They wouldn't agree with my so-called "life choices". Besides, they don't miss me, they miss the person they think I used to be... I wasn't even a man when I last saw them.

Random Goon: Damn boss, that sucks.

***

And then the goons throw the Red Hood a party on trans visibility day and Jason is so confused he straight up cries.

bring back tumblr ask culture let me. bother you with questions and statements

So I have a private little au idea where Damian is mad at Bruce for being unfaithful to his wife and Bruce is like "chum, I'm not married" and Damian gives him the dirtiest look and goes to his room to grab a photo album of pictures from Bruce and Talia's wedding (since the place Nanda parbat is based on is in Pakistan, it should probably be a Pakistani wedding, but I prefer a festival like indian wedding, it's up to you) and Bruce is like "what, that was a festival" and Damian is like "you literally signed a marriage contract" and Bruce is like "no, that was a treaty to say that the league of assassins would stay out of Gotham"

And anyway that's the day Bruce learns that if he divorces Talia he technically is allowing the league of assassins into gotham

I love this idea!

Danny is Jon Constantine's child but not in the way you'd expect. He's the biological child of Maddie and Jack Fenton. When Danny stepped into the portal and got zapped three things happened: He got electrocuted and his DNA/cells were fused with ectoplasm, He died, and a floating shard of a particular Laughing Magician's soul in the Ghost Zone "miraculously" (Thanks Clockwork) was right next to where the portal punched through the dimensions, getting sucked into Danny's soul along with the ectoplasm that binded to his body.

Danny is the ghost child of Constantine... somehow.

Well. It was simple really, this is her baby.

He squirmed in the air as she grabbed him, babbling sounds, some of which were normal, others which were made of overlapping emotions.

She needed to find out what kind of baby he was, as humans didn't change colour and speak in emotions, but that would be explained later. Right now she had a family to introduce her baby to.

Mama Bat

There was a baby in the Batcave.

There was a baby in the Batcave.

There was a glowing, white haired, Lazarus green eyed baby floating in the freaking Batcave!

A baby that was currently wearing a superhero themed footy pajamas and making tiny circles in the air as they coo and make spit bubbles.

A baby Cass had found while on patrol... in Hong Kong before suddenly and somehow appearing in Gotham. In the Batcave.

Along with them, sitting innocently on the batcomputer chair was a baby bag (themed after Black Bat somehow) full of everything a baby needed a glowing green sticky note with purple handwriting on it.

'Cassandra Cain-Wayne

Take care of our little Ghostling. Everything will make sense in due time.

P.S Daniel enjoys the stars.

-CW'

By the time Bruce finished reading the note aloud, Cass had manged to get a hold of the baby who was making happy noises and patting her cheek.

And a second later a blinding light overtook the baby and once the light was gone, the baby now had black hair and bright blue eyes.