I Am All For Good Dash! He'd Be Great As A Nutritionist For Metas If We Were To Bring In DC, And I Feel

I am all for good dash! He'd be great as a nutritionist for metas if we were to bring in DC, and I feel like he'd have a fucking fit if he was offered a place on the watchtower with the justice league

Dash, now a Junior, has had a Realization. Fenton does not weigh nearly enough.

He was doing his usual thing, picking on the dweeb but toned down because he's Maturing With Age, when he decided to pick Fenton up. Just to make fun of him for being short, that was all.

But Fenton weighs practically nothing.

Fenton wriggled out of his grip and scurried away with his friends, but Dash couldn't stop thinking about how...concerning. That was.

Dash starts looking up nutrition.

Starts paying attention in Health Class.

Starts watching cooking channels to learn how to cook.

Starts making more food than he can eat, balanced nutritionally for Fenton, and sitting menacingly in front of the dweeb until said dweeb ate the whole thing.

Starts stalking up behind Fenton and shoving snacks into his backpack, with whispered threats against his wellbeing if he didn't eat them.

Dash, over the course of his Junior year, becomes the school's most terrifying fitness coach the student body have ever seen.

And he charges everyone for his services; except Fenton.

He's decided forcing Fenton to be healthy is his new, socially acceptable way of bullying him.

More Posts from Pastelpigeonparadise and Others

10 months ago
These Little Gremlins Won't Stop Having Kids! Look At That Tiny Little Nest!

These little gremlins won't stop having kids! Look at that tiny little nest!

Also, update on the littlest one, I don't know what to name them!

These Little Gremlins Won't Stop Having Kids! Look At That Tiny Little Nest!
These Little Gremlins Won't Stop Having Kids! Look At That Tiny Little Nest!

Fluffy little guy


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9 months ago

Oh no,,,

They hurt the baby yeti. It's his first day on earth and they insult him? Disregard his advice? Fire him because they are small minded humans who thinks that they know everything?

Phantom is going to chew them out for this

The weirdly competent Doctor

So! The Watchtower's Medical Bay is a hub of constant Activity. With the number of Heroes who work under the Justice League, there are always injuries, health check-Ups, and illnesses that need healing.

But with the amount of Variant Biologies that those Heroes have, it's always a guessing game as to how to help them best. Some Metahumans react positively to penicillin, but others react like it's their Kryptonite. Some Aliens have anatomy similar to Humans, others are so different you can't tell the Stomach from the Bladder.

So when they hired a New Doctor for the Medical Bay, they had to run him through an entire Course on Variant Biologies and how best to treat specific Heroes. It was long and difficult to remember fully, but it was necessary for him to know.

But then the new Doctor started correcting Them.

"Actually, Martian's react better to the Syrup of Eucalyptus Plants better than Penicillin, since Eucalyptus is very similar to a medicinal plant from Mars which they used in many of their antibiotics."

"I don't think just pumping double doses of sedative is the best way to calm down a Speedster, that could have adverse effects on their body. Perhaps try Psychic Intervention? Their minds move a Mile a Second, but if you can calm them down their bodies will follow suit."

"Of course you use Micro-Doses of Kryptonite to operate on Superman! What else would you do?! I don't know, maybe ask JLD to enchant your Equipment to make use of Kryptonian suseptiblity to Magic? The Kryptonite is just gonna give him Cancer!"

Of course the Doctors didn't take kindly to being rudely corrected by a newbie, and Fired him on his first day.

Then a few days later their usual Treatments don't work, and they decide to give those strategies the Quack Doctor gave them out of desperation.

And Lo and Behold, they work! Martian Manhunter is fully healed and feels much better than the previous times he has needed surgery. Apparently they used a different Antibiotic that worked better with his Biology. Which was incredible, how had they figured it out?

Another Doctor you say? One who was experienced on Martian Biology and Medicinal History? He would very much like to meet with the man!

...

What do you mean you fired him for talking back?!

7 months ago

She panted for the metaphysical equivalent of air as she managed to drag her entire town and all her sweet little humans to safety, away from the imminent alien invasion.

"how's that for 'itty bitty Amity'" she thought triumphantly "you may have your little 'dark knights' but Id like to see you singlehandedly save your people from an entire fleet of hostile aliens!"

As the most haunted town in America, Amity had a bit of a rivalry with Gotham. Afterall, they had the same number of curses.

aliens are planning an attack,

Amity park for whatever reason is in line of fire, She, Saint Amity the Little miss, City spirit on Amity park felt danger and made the wise decision to skedaddle. protect her citizens like the good city spirit she is.

the Amity parkers are confused but rolling with an impromptu field trip to the Zone.

the Aliens are confused.

the Justice league is confused.

a whole midwestern town just up and disappeared leaving behind nothing but a crater. what is odd is the former Amity parkers don't seem concerned, neither do families of the current residents that are missing with the town. they are acting as if nothing happened even seemingly able to communicate despite all Legues attempts to contact the town failing but they don't have time to investigate further because Aliens

11 months ago

Please please please write more of this

A mis-text-derstanding

After a long night of patrolling around Amity, Danny damn near collapsed onto his bed. His back ached from a stray ectoblast and his eyes felt heavier than a mountain. Technus had done something to the technology around the town. At random a piece of technology would suddenly go rogue with a virus the ghost implemented. The virus would make the item try to capture anyone in the vicinity using any means necessary. So Danny had been doing regular patrols around town to catch anyone who needed help.

That also means that his sleeping time had been radically reduced. Without even the energy to lift his head, Danny patted around for his phone. Once he finally found the device he hefted himself on his side with a groan. It was a new phone since he was the first casualty in Technus’ plan. Thankfully, Sam had given him another so his parents wouldn’t try to make him one. (Who knows what kind of ‘anti-ghost’ protection they would’ve put on it.)

Tucker had promised that he was working on fixing the virus going around. Hopefully, he had some kind of good news to share. As soon as Danny went to message him he realized he hadn’t downloaded their chat app to the new phone. With a sigh he knew that he would just have to use normal texting but with careful codewords.

Putting in Tucker's number with a yawn, Danny sent the first message.

‘It’s your undead bro. The night out tonight was killer. Any news on the techie progress?’

Danny smashed his face into his bed with a sigh after hitting send. Knowing Tucker he was probably face first in his laptop and won’t notice the message for a bit. He could probably just close his eyes and…

Before he could even consider taking a nap there was a generic jingle from the phone. He should really get to fixing that. Tuck deserves a much better ringtone than some bells.

‘Nothing noteworthy yet. It's harder to crack than normal but nothing I can't handle. Do you need me to take over for tomorrow?’

‘Also why aren't you using our chat?’

Danny squinted at the screen with a slight frown. It had been a while since Sam or Tucker tried to go out in his place. They learned pretty quickly that it made Danny way too anxious to have them out there without him. Something about not being there to protect them if they got over their heads made Danny’s chest ache. 

And of course, Tucker noticed that he wasn’t using the app he made. It was a bit glitchy at times, but what tech wasn’t when it came to Danny? Not only was it secure, but it became an easier way for them to establish a timeline for filing. Jazz had been the one who realized that they didn’t have steady information on not just the rouges but the events of the fights. It became a staple to write out what happened and what went wrong after hearing her lecture about it.

‘Don’t have it on this phone yet. And you know how I feel about you being out there.’

Danny watched the screen for a bit, waiting to see if Tucker would reply immediately again. His mom probably caught him on his computer all day and was forcing him to separate himself from it for a while. It wasn’t an uncommon thing for Ms. Foley to do.

‘Yeah yeah, Mr. Possessive. Do you need me to walk you through how to get it again?’

Snorting at the pun, Danny easily replied. If Tucker was feeling sassy enough to joke about that, then he would push some buttons back. It was a simple banter that they sometimes fell into.

‘You know how I get with technology. I’m more likely to break something. Especially since this phone is so new. Whatever happened to flip phones?’

Danny snickered to himself at the message. Tucker had an ongoing war between new and old technology. While he loved his PDA he also admired some of the top-of-the-line devices. It was like the past and the future mixed in his friend's room. He would gush about the new devices but also gush about the older ones that still had functions that the newer ones lost. But flip phones? That was the only technology he knew that Tucker hated. It was the worst of both worlds for him. He’d been so excited when Danny’s flip phone was bricked by Technus’ virus.

‘I’m going to ignore that you said that.’

‘Also there’s going to be trouble in the park near you tomorrow. I’m already planning on going. Do you want in?’

Scooting up from his lounged position, Danny started to write back his reply.

‘Of course, I’ll be there. Don’t need you to go in alone and join the dead. Unusual for him to leave his plans there though. That’ll be fun to write in the report.’

The image of Jazz reading about that brought a smile to Danny’s face. She always found it interesting when one of the ghosts would change a long-time behavior. The fact that Technus was able to keep this rather on the down low would guarantee her interest. He was always one to blatantly announce his plans to the world to hear. Even though it’s a bit of a pain that he’s learning to keep things to himself it would peak Jazz’s curiosity, which made it bearable.

‘It is weird. And don’t remind me about the report. I still have the one from last week to write and I don’t want to do it.’

That made Danny laugh to himself a little. Last week the lunch lady tried to embrace the Ultra-Recyclo Vegetarian life. In the overflow of food, Tucker had gotten trapped in veggies. He was visibly green from having to eat some to escape. Sam had been excited about it at first before she saw how much food was being wasted. She ended up getting attacked for trying to explain the damage overconsumption and food waste could bring.

‘You looked like you wanted to vomit afterward. Well, at least we are prepared this time. We don’t always get that chance.’

Danny stretched out his stubborn limbs, feeling himself try to sink into the darkness. He’d have to end the conversation sooner rather than later. At this rate, he wouldn’t have a choice on whether he was taking a nap or not. At the familiar sound of bells, he looked back down at the conversation.

‘Unfortunately. Well, I’ll be finished by the time we meet at the park. I know you usually like to sleep after a long night.’

The reply made Danny’s core feel fuzzy with happiness. Tucker always knows him so well. He doesn’t know what he did to get such a fantastic best friend. It was at times like these that Danny knew he was so glad that they were in this together. With two of his best friends at his side, it made being a vigilante so much easier to bear. 

‘Thanks. Remember that not just the dead get to sleep. Don’t push yourself. Goodnight.’

With that, Danny felt comfortable with setting his phone down to get changed into pajamas. It ached on his back to take off his shirt, but Jazz would be disappointed in the morning if he didn’t. She always got that pinched look on her face when he didn’t take care of himself to her standards. Her standards weren’t exactly high up either so it made him feel extra upset when he missed the mark.

Being careful to not lie on his back, Danny got back into his bed. He curled himself into the blankets with a small smile. One last chime of bells rang out in the room, probably from Tucker saying goodnight back. Picking up his phone, he opened up the lock screen and looked at his messages.

Instead of a goodnight, his stomach dropped as he realized a different number messaged him. A very familiar number.

‘Hey dude! I know you had to get a new phone so this is me. Not only did I figure out how it’s spreading, I think I finally found a way to get rid of the virus.’

Practically throwing himself off the bed, Danny got to his feet. Both his back and his mind screamed at him as he looked over the message. He tapped back to the one he’d just been replying to, finding his heart stopping at the string of numbers. One of the area code numbers was a six instead of a nine. He’d been messaging a stranger this entire time.

Looking back at the messages he convinced himself that it was fine. He was vague enough to not be recognized. It wasn’t like this person was from Amity. They won’t recognize the correlation between him and Phantom. Surely the other person wouldn’t take his words at face value. 

Worst comes to worst he can have Tucker take over his phone for a bit and make sure the other person can’t find out who he is. He hadn’t bought the phone or had it under his name in any way, so they could only find out from the conversation alone.

Breathing out a breath of air he kissed his night of sleep goodbye.

‘I’ll be over in a sec Tuck. I think I just made a mistake.’

11 months ago

One of my pigeons is a big chunky Boi, and when ever he tucks his chin in he looks like a little sphere

A photo of a pied feral pigeon on a window sill pecking at seeds

Coopuccino looking big and chunky. Like if you patted him on the back he'd start bouncing like a basketball

7 months ago

Messaging people for the first time is so hard. What am I supposed to say? Like, "You seem really odd and your blog intrigues me. Do you want to have philosophical conversations or perhaps talk about fictional characters?" What! Whatever. I will just follow you back and stare at your blog with my big beautiful brown eyes.

10 months ago

Y’all, there’s a severe lack of fics where Phantom reunites with Dani while being the newest member of Young Justice and Conner sees Phantom being such a good big brother to her despite knowing fully well that she’s his clone and eventually wants to be Phantom’s brother, too.

So I guess what I’m trying to say is,

Prepare yourselves.

10 months ago

Damian still isn't allowed to talk to the press, but they show up outside of school and ambush him. Someone says something demeaning about Talia, and he snaps and said "grandfather would have had you executed for that in his kingdom"

Well, the media goes wild- turns out Damian Wayne isn't the Antichrist, his mother is. I imagine a headline "breaking news: Brucie Wayne didn't adopt the Antichrist, he had a child with it"

Even when Damian's older he's not allowed to talk to the press by himself, because someone will ask if his grandfather is Satan and he will simply say yes

The paparazzi somehow gets a hold of Damian shortly after he starts living with Bruce and leave fully convinced that "that child is the Antichrist. Brucie Wayne has been tricked into raising Satan's spawn, and he is too naive to notice."

The following articles lead to Damian being banned from talking to reporters and Bruce suing every tabloid in Gotham to get any speculation regarding his son's origins taken down, but it doesn't stop the rumors from spreading.

Years later, Damian is more adjusted to life outside the league, and the ban is lifted. Damian is finally officially introduced to the media, and after learning how to be a normal child, and with the influence of his older brothers, decides to play into the whole "might actually be the Antichrist" thing.

It becomes a part of his public persona, and Damian wayne is henceforth known as the maybe slightly too polite, somewhat ominous, short tempted heir to Gothams most successful business empire, and because it's Gotham people just expect that the city is probably getting pulled into Hell pretty soon and move on with their days because, what are they gonna do about it, he's a Wayne.

11 months ago

Someone has to have written this right? You can't just leave us like that

Danny is a sewer monster. He is a little snakey fella.

The Bats catch word of a creature in the sewers that not even Grundy or Killer Croc want to tussle with.

This is how Jason ends up treking through the sewers looking for whatever stole his favorite jacket. He stumbles across a nest(?) that has an odd glowing rock in the middle. He found his jacket though...wrapped around the rock.

Danny finds Red Hood in his nest, the guy isn't hurting Ellie so he seems all right.

Now the Bats are panicking because Jason's gone missing.

Jason is not complaining.

3 weeks ago

Majestic

Favorite bird genre has got to be 'that's literally just a dinosaur'

Favorite Bird Genre Has Got To Be 'that's Literally Just A Dinosaur'

Groove-Billed Ani

Favorite Bird Genre Has Got To Be 'that's Literally Just A Dinosaur'

Hoatzin

Favorite Bird Genre Has Got To Be 'that's Literally Just A Dinosaur'

Pheasant Coucal

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mainly fandom stuff, but basically anything that's stuck in my brain

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