I Wish I Could Describe Just How Weird It Is To See So Much Love For This Character When You're Coming

NPCs

Sometimes my mind keeps going back to that one Bhaal cultist who wanted things to be quiet and I wonder what if she was a far more tragic figure than anyone would ever know. It's no surprise that most are sadistic, most are mentally ill or simply craved power, but what if that one's desire was born from trauma? What if she had once been a child, born in an abusive environment, unable to relax because it'd make whoever she was around angry? What if her days had consisted of fear and pain, a constant theme of screaming and yelling that scraped her nerves raw while she was silently wishing for things to be quiet? What if she had been praying for the gods to answer, only to be met with shattering glass and deafening thumps of pottery and metal hurled at her head?

Day in, day out.

The noise just won't stop.

Why won't it stop?

Why won't they be quiet?

When will it stop hurting?

Until one day, something snaps and before she knows it, she's standing in the middle of the room, hands bloodied, her tormenter(s) dead.

And for the first time, it's quiet. So blissfully quiet.

A lost soul that begged for mercy and peace. And Bhaal was the only God who answered her pleas.

here we go again

Chef’s kiss

I'm convinced that polyamory is nature's way of granting mercy to Halsin's lovers who have severely underestimated his unholy sexual stamina.

Unmute !

I've come to describing it as: What we need to find out if we'd want sex with someone is what others complain of as "friendzoning" (aka You must be this friend zoned to have a chance to go on this demisexual ride). Which is NOT an endorsement of being friends in hopes of getting sex. No one owes anyone sex. No one should be friends with an ulterior motive. But it's hard to describe demisexuality without finding an anchor point to something we live with in society. And all too frequently, I've experienced how swiftly friends stop being friends when sex is confirmed to be off the table. Friendly greetings turn cold, plans become empty promises, and laughter becomes silence when you're not interested in sex. How do people find anyone willing to do that attractive enough to fuck?

Sex without attachment is far more prevalent I think than society is willing to acknowledge. Otherwise, we wouldn't have jokes about sex on the third date, the shame of friendzoning, the "expiration date" theme as we age, or the dreaded "frigid" label. There'd never be emphasis of "If you liked it, ya shoulda put a ring on it", "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?" And all sorts of "fun" colloquialisms that imply that the temptation of sex is present without the urge to commit to a relationship. Because, why caution others in acquiring commitment first if it's in our nature to only want sex when there are emotional bonds?

Ironically, I think we ought to be de-stigmatizing casual sex and instead be emphasizing consent, safety for health and generally not being a douche to your partners. I get the sense that this sex shaming causes a kind of sociopathic treatment of each other if we're not doing it for the "right" reasons (insert disclaimer about appropriate age being needed to discuss this topic), because it doesn't take long before I'm hearing a tone of disrespect towards anyone who likes casual sex as though they're unworthy of marriage material.

demisexuality can be so hard to explain because it’s misconstrued as you just wanting to trust the other person before you have sex with them. and I get why the misconception happens. But demisexuality differs in that there isn’t sexual attraction at all before that bond forms.

I think what people have difficulty with is the idea that there are people out there who aren’t experiencing sexual attraction at all until a certain point, if ever, because we’re taught that sex, libido, and sexual attraction are all the same, both in and out of queer spaces.

And when you’re learning about asexuality and demisexuality, you may learn that people have romantic and aesthetic attraction separately from sexual attraction, and that sexual and romantic attraction aren’t necessarily intertwined, and that may challenge your worldview on sex.

But “I trust you enough to have sex with you” isn’t the same as “I’m not sexually attracted to anyone but you, and the reason I’m sexually attracted to you now after we’ve established this close bond is literally because of the bond of trust we’ve been able to form”.

It’s easy to see how those can get conflated. On the surface, if you’re unfamiliar with asexuality, they may sound the same. But it’s important to acknowledge the difference between “no sex until I trust you” and “no sexual attraction unless I trust you and maybe not even then”.

Demisexuality is housed under the asexuality spectrum. It’s part of the gray area between being allosexual and asexual. It’s part of why the definition for asexuality includes “little to no sexual attraction”. It’s a mostly asexual experience with an asterisk.

While being demisexual may have impacts on a persons sexual activity, even demisexuals have a varied relationship to the act of participating in sex. Libido and sexual attraction are not always intertwined either, which can make telling the difference tricky.

I think of sexual attraction as libido that has a compass. Since I rarely ever experience sexual attraction, but do have libido, it’s noticeable for me when that libido actually has a direction to go, rather than being a floating, nebulous, independent thing.

Remember, not everyone is demisexual. There’s a difference between waiting to have sex and not having sexual attraction at all until a certain point. This also inherently ties demisexuality to romantic attraction and relationships, and not all demisexuals are alloromantic.

But if you read what demisexuality is and think “everyone is like that” or “that’s just being a woman”, you either 1) are demisexual 2) don’t understand what it is or 3) both. And it’s okay to not know. Just as long as you’re willing to try to learn.

[ Dr. Phil disliked that]

I feel like people really don't understand what happened in Early Access. I was there and can tell you what happened.

Myth: Larian promoted Halsin to a romanceable companion because straight female fans were soooooo horny for him.

Reality: While EA fans made a fair number of "daddy Halsin" memes, most were interested in Halsin because at the time, most of the good companions were still assholes (Gale and SH were much ruder back then, Lae'zel and Astarion were outright evil, and Karlach hadn't been added yet, leaving Wyll alone for "nice companion" rep) and were interested in Halsin because he was a genuinely nice and helpful guy who broke the mold for how elves and Druids usually were. The datamined story where Halsin was responsible for the Shadow Curse also was like catnip to the fans. There was wild speculation about how that story would play out for him.

Thirst was a child-sized piece of the entire pie for reasons people wanted Halsin. But then Larian added him and indulged only the thirst-based comments, not the people actually interested in Halsin and his story, so now people still have a laugh about how it was literally the "fault" of horny women (fucking women, they ruin everything am I right?) that Larian implemented Halsin in the worst way possible. Serious, take a look sometime at the Larian forums back during EA... those same posters now hate Halsin more than anyone else. I'm not one of them, I still like him, but this is not what any of us asked Larian for. I ordered a cheeseburger and got a wedge salad, and not only that, but I'm getting attacked for being the reason the person next to me didn't get fries with their burger too.

Halsin fans don't have it nearly as badly as Wyll fans, but we definitely got fucked over as bad as Karlach did.

.

-Gee, if only there was some way to make him tougher, to make him a class that is specifically designed to do that instead of control the battlefield and buff companions and debuff enemies.....what do you think, Withers? Don't you feel so frustrated that all our companions have these classes and no way to change them? Oh wait.....

-Should I ask if these same people have a problem with Jaheira or do they magically somehow manage to make her work because they're willing to figure out how she works best?

-Do they know how to make the Druid class work, or is this something they're using as an excuse for their bias? I mean, I struggled with the Barbarian class, but that doesn't mean Karlach should be considered useless nor that the class is bad.

-If you send your cleric to do the tanking, should we be surprised if they're getting stomped on? The whole point of the Druid class is making the terrain work in your favor. That's how Larian games work in general too. It's why there are high ground penalties, why you pay attention to elemental resistances, why concentration spells are a pain because they cancel each other out, why stats affect how far you move or how fast you react.

"Halsin is useless he can't take a hit and he's not strong"

HES NOT SUPPOSED TO BE HE'S A DRUID.

"He can't cast spells in wildshape smh what's the point"

Wild shape is a defense mechanism! You only wild shape as a last resort. Druids have a lot of spells meant to keep enemies away, you cast wall spells, field of thorns, everything you can to keep enemies away. Once in wild shape, they gain a new set of hit points. So say halsin gets down to 3 hp and he's suddenly surrounded by enemies. THAT IS WHEN YOU WILDSHAPE. Thats why wildshape only gets like 2 charges!!! Don't send him into a hoard of enemies in wildshape he's gunna get killed!

Gods. I'm tired of people saying he's useless in battle. You just think bc he's giant and can be a bear he's supposed to be a a melee attacker. He's squishy!! He's a lover not a fighter!!!

In light of the latest Discourse, I wanted to point out this as-yet unimplemented dialogue I datamined.

"Friendship is no consolation trophy."

That is the one thing you will never hear an incel, nice guy, etc say. It is the attitude of someone with a healthy sense of boundaries and respect for others.