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First post

This is my first post. It's nothing special. I agonized over it for weeks, trying to think of something clever or original, but unable to think of the "right" or "best" or "perfect" thing to post first. #perfectionist problems

Anyway, this is it. And now at least it's done so maybe I can get to posting some other thoughts and ideas I've had.

If you're curious, I'm a stay-at-home mom in my late thirties. I have one incredibly smart child who is going to public school (for now) so I have way too much time on my hands and yet never enough time to do the things I want or need to do. Mostly lacking in energy and motivation more than anything else. Also definitely lacking in creativity and talent. I'd like to be someone, to create or do something special, but I'm not and I can't. In school I excelled with academics and getting good grades. Now I pretty much fail at everything, so that sucks. In case you couldn't tell I struggle with anxiety, depression and self-hatred. That's about all anyone would need to know.

I've given you exactly 0 reasons to follow me, why are you still here? If you got this far I'll tell you this: humans are amazing. I love quotes so there will probably be a lot of those. Thanks for... listening? Reading?

The end of Words of Radiance

SPOILER ALERT....

....

....

So when Adolin kills Sadeas at the end of Words of Radiance it is so damn satisfying that I actually laughed out loud and said "YES! FINALLY!" while listening to the audiobook. But then...all I can picture is Adolin nonchalantly chucking Oathbringer out the window, "alley-oop!" dusting off his hands and then whistling as he ambles away down the corridor to find his friends "Heeeey guyz, I waz here in this other corridor all along... nothing to see down that way!"

And I'm just dying 🤣☠️

RUSH quotes

"Where would you rather be?

Anywhere... anywhere but here

When will the time be right?

Anytime but now

Where would you rather be?

The doubt and the fear I know would all disappear

Anywhere but here

Anywhere but here"

This is true for my 5-year-old, we have this conversation nightly and she has to be reassured that we won't be around when the moon recedes from the earth in 100,000 years and when the sun burns out 😅 Though her science book said it's more like 4 billion years...

Inauguration

Listening to the inauguration speech like...

Audible Narrators

I absolutely adore Michael Kramer and Kate Reading. They are phenomenal audiobook narrators who did amazing work with Robert Jordan's Wheel of Time series and with Brandon Sanderson's Cosmere. They are definitely my favorite Audible narrators. But...

I do think maybe Edgedancer could have been narrated by Suzy Jackson, who did the Skyward series. She would have been perfect for Lift. I guess I understand it's more consistent to use Kate Reading since she does Lift in the main books, and she does a wonderful job, but I just think Suzy Jackson would have been cool in that role.

One of those days

Today is one of those days "I took the Tylenol at 2:30 and again at 6:15 I took the ibuprofen at 4:30 so I can take that again at 8:30" I can't tell if it helps but it's all I can do that and laying on the couch with a heating pad trying to read and distract myself feeling horribly guilty about all the house work and other stuff that needs to get done that's not getting done feeling nauseous and exhausted no spoons but knowing I can't sleep or do more than doze off for a few minutes before the pain wakes me up wondering if I should take the stronger pain medicine the doctor gave me but very nervous about it wondering again what the fuck is causing this pain is it kidney endometriosis the birth control doesn't seem to be helping that much I was told it was hydronephrosis caused by UPJ an obstructed ureter but what caused THAT it only started when my daughter was about 6 months old she's 6.5 years now so that's 6 years of sporadic debilitating pain maybe something post pregnancy related I guess

All we know is it's not kidney stones tried a ureteral stent that was a nightmare and didn't help trying the birth control the obgyn will only check for endometriosis by going in through the front but all my pain is in one spot in the back exactly where my right kidney is the kidney doctor won't operate until my kidney function gets worse its only a little bad right now so I'm stuck second guessing and wondering people think maybe it's just a muscle thing but I don't see how that's possible always in the same place on and off sometimes for a few days or sometimes just a day for years now always along with nausea and exhaustion heating pad doesn't really help either maybe IBS flare-up coincides it's hard to tell maybe PMDD often happens the week before my period but not always and sometimes (like now) the week of or the week after or any random time of the month often on Tuesdays I have no idea why stress related maybe I just know when it hits I want someone to cut this fucking kidney out of me and be done I'm so tired

Graffiti

There used to be graffiti in the town where I live, many years ago, that said "All hail the Crimson King" written in red spray paint on a sign. I often think about it. It's worn away, not really visible anymore but still kind of there. This was long before the movie came out, back when I thought I was the only teenager in the world who read The Dark Tower series, and then became a young adult who still thought I was alone in liking and rereading that series over and over. Did the person who wrote the graffiti read those books? Or was it in reference to something else? Why can't I stop thinking about it?

Stormlight Archive movie/ TV show

Part of me hopes they never make The Stormlight Archive series into movies or a TV series because I don't think they could do it justice at all, even if Brandon Sanderson had complete creative control.

But oh my God...

I just had a thought...

DAVID TENNANT as WIT

Tell me that wouldn't be perfect and amazing 🤩

Stormlight, finally

I've read (and loved) almost every single Brandon Sanderson book so far, except the Stormlight series. I just finished Warbreaker and now I'm finally starting The Way of Kings. Wish me luck...