Thomas On China’s Instagram 18/10/2016

Hi! Could you 50 for Mafia au! Kai please? Thank you so much!!❤️✨

50. “I need you to forgive me.”

Kim Jongin (Kai) x Reader

Genre: Mafia AU, angst

Word Count: 506

You were woken up by someone shifting at the end of yourbed. You opened your eyes and looked up.

“Jongin! What are you doing here? When did you come back?”

He didn’t say anything just gave you a faint smile which youcould barely see in this darkness. You checked out the clock. It was 4 am.

“Did something happen?” you asked him.

“No,” he replied. You stared at each other in silence for abit longer then you lay back down on the pillow and rolled to one side.

“I’m going to sleep, are you?” he continued to sit there butafter a while you felt him getting closer. He pulled you to him.

“Y/N?” he asked you when you were almost asleep again. “Ineed you to forgive me. I know I promised it wouldn’t happen again.”

You immediately turned to him, threw the covers off andturned the light on. You noticed that his shirt was stained and beads of sweatwere forming on his forehead. You literally ripped the shirt off him to reveala badly bandaged wound.

“Why didn’t the others help you?” you said standing up andrunning to the bathroom to get the med kit.

“Y/N that’s not it. The wound will be fine.”

“No it won’t. Sit up,” you ordered.

“Y/N…” he said when you came back. “I… I killed someone.

You froze there in the doorway, the way he looked at you,you knew you had to brace yourself for bad news but you didn’t expect this.

“It was your brother,” it seemed like you were suddenly hitin the stomach, you felt sick, you needed air. You dropped the med kit on thefloor, went to the window and opened it fully. You couldn’t believe it.

“Y/N, please. It was me or him. We weren’t prepared fortheir attack.”

Me or him. He always said that when he killed someone. Asmuch as you hated your brother he was still family. You knew something likethis will happen sooner or later but why did it had to be Jongin out of allpeople. You slumped down by the window. He groaned out in pain and slowly cameup and sat behind you. He wrapped his arms around your waist.

“Y/N, say something,” but only a few tears dropped.

“Did he suffer?” you finally asked.

“No,” he answered quickly and somehow you knew he wasn’tlying.

“Thank you,” you said and finally let your emotions takeover. He listened to your quite sobs for a while when you turned around andpressed your hand to his wound.

“Come I need to patch you up,” but he stopped you before youstood up and gave you a tight hug.

“Are you okay?”

“I will be,” you said. “But I will be even happier if youdon’t die on me.”

He chuckled and sat down on the bed with you still in hisarms. He stroked your cheek gently.

“I promise I will never make you cry again.”

She closed her eyes and welcomed sleep like a long lost friend, because it was the only way she was able to end the worst day of her life

tomorrow will be better. (via wannabewritingnow)

“When we first met, you and I, you asked me a question,” he said. “Yes, I did,” she replied with a slight smirk appearing on her face. “We were at a party. I was throwing up in the bathroom and you stumbled in, drunk and quite crazy looking. You asked me what the point of it all was. You said everything hurt. That everything always got messed up, and it was usually your fault. You were crying, hard, and you looked at me and asked me what the point was. And I didn’t know what to say, because I didn’t know. I still don’t know.” She let out a small laugh and bumped his leg with her knee. She took a deep breath and spoke. “You see, when we first met, I was heartbroken. I just got dumped, my mom hated me, I thought I had no one. I didn’t see the point of living, of doing anything anymore,” she told him quietly. “Well what about now?” he questioned. “Well now,” she spoke again, louder this time, “now I’m happy. I have you, my best friend. My mom doesn’t hate me. I haven’t fucked anything up in a while. But it won’t stay like this forever. Because I’m going to mess up again and you’ll hate me and I’ll hate you and then we’ll love each other. Maybe we’ll end up together in the long run or maybe I’ll end up wishing you would drop off of the planet. What I’m trying to say is, nothing is permanent. You won’t be happy forever but you also won’t be sad forever. Things are always changing, and you can’t stop them from doing so. The point is, that there is no point. So live however the hell you want to. We’re all destined to the same inevitable ending.”

- An excerpt from a book I’ll never write #8 (via thisvastlove)

- out of my notebook

I don’t want to learn in a classroom anymore. I want to travel and talk to people and learn that way. I want to learn as I go, gathering knowledge and not being rigorously tested on it. I don’t want to lose passion in the things I like because of the worry of exams. I want to fuelled by snippets of knowledge I gain from people and be inquisitive. School has stolen my passion for the things I’m interested in and I hate it for that.

college au otp prompts based loosely on my college experiences:

“i tried opening a bottle of wine with scissors and cut my hand really badly and you went to the bathroom to pee and found me bleeding all over the sink and i probably should have gotten stitches but we improvised” au 

“my friends found a shopping cart on campus and they were pushing me down hills in it and it got out of control and you were just walking by and i hit you im so sorry fuck im stuck in this cart i cant help you up im sorry you’re cute im sorry” au

“i got in a fake fight with my friend and you are the RA from the floor below and you walked upstairs to see what all of the noise was about and saw me pinned to the floor and shouting and you weren’t sure whether to call someone or not so you half-heartily tried to break us up and i accidentally punched you in the face” au

“we were both drunk and our friends ditched us and we were wandering around campus by ourselves at 1 am and ran into each other at a gazebo and i dont know you at all but this seems like a good time to have a conversation about the meaning of life” au

“we just met at a party and we didn’t really want to talk to anyone so we concocted an elaborate plan on how to steal all of the food in the room and it was going great until you spilled salsa all over me” au

“our squads were both really drunk and we ran into each other at 2 am and you asked if we wanted to play whiffle ball so we did and i tackled  you to prevent you from getting a home run and then we just stayed on the ground for a while” au

like 98% of my problems would be solved if I stopped overthinking things and calmed the fuck down