You've Heard "every Machine Is A Smoke Machine If You Use It Wrong Enough" Now Get Ready For:

We have come full circle

I'm sorry but do humans eat their god??

Actually that would make a lot more sense

what if a rat said cheesus christ

I love getting ads for apps I'm in like girl I'm already here

I AM THE SMARTEST IDIOT I KNOW I AM THE EMBODIMENT OF IRONY!!

Zombie apocalypse but the zombies can still function as humans and they work at walmart.

"this is fred he has been working here for 162 years and not once called in sick".

"you can't call in sick when you're dead Kathryn".

I'm a gay man who can't flirt to save my life but will that stop me form make the most shitty pickup lines ever?

Absolutely not

i don't care if he has committed crimes he's just a little guy

Me: i think i will do some tomfucklery

Oldest sibling: i think not

Me:

Them:

Me:

Them: not without me

Character idea : human that was bitten by a vampire has to come to terms that they can't eat garlic bread any more

Plot twist: they are ace

Me: *sees a villain with a tragic backstory*

Me: "he just needs a hug"