Latest Posts by nobodyschrush-everyonessquish - Page 4

I have chills! This was heartbreaking but powerful 💕

I read that and was like “??? Whomst???”

When does atlas come back!!!

When does Atlas come back???

W H A T

.

The amount of stupidity both baffles and amazes me.

Every single odd number has an “e” in it.

Oh ny gosh that would have been so much better than one asshole got so lonely that he ruined another woman’s future.

Someone else on tumblr pointed out that PASSENGERS might have been a more meaningful movie if it was about just THE ONE person dealing with being alone on the ship for the rest of their life.  And if, to cope, they go through and make it a point to learn everything they can about all of the other people on the ship.

And I just keep thinking about this idea.

There are 4999 other people on that ship and what if the protagonist spent the remainder of their life (and they do live their full life) learning about each of them.

They took an interest in their hobbies so that they could have some sort of connection to them.

As their sanity flexed in an effort to cope, they could have had these really involved imaginary conversations with the crew about their interests. And by the end of their natural life they will have known everything they could have ever known about these other 4999 people.

…

AND THEN THE REST OF THEM WAKE UP. And they have some 90 odd years of security footage of this one crew member talking to each of them in turn. And it goes far beyond ‘I have figured out how to cook that one dish you were struggling with’ or ‘I have read THE SILMARILLION at your suggestion and Jesus Christ I have thoughts about it.’

They actually start making connections between all of the crew.

Like ‘You like bugs! You should totally talk to Cindy! She’s an entomologist!’

Or ‘Did you know that you and Said’s grandfathers were both in the same infantry?’

Or ‘You and Jamie are both avid bee keepers and I think you need to meet.’

Or ‘I know you’re really struggling with this, but Aneesha said she went the exact same thing and I think talking to her can help.’

And because all of these crew members are watching the videos that have been individually addressed to them (Because why not? They’re colonizing.  There’s not a lot yet available by way of entertainment) they sort of start talking to each other at the Protagonist’s suggestion.  And within a year they are THE MOST unified interconnected colony of any of the colonies because this one crew member broke the ice for them a lifetime ago.

Several of them are engaged.

Two are about to have children named after the Protagonist.

…

AND BECAUSE EVERYONE KNOWS EVERYONE NOW they notice when one week a crew member isn’t out and about and no one can get in touch with them.  So finally somebody goes to check and they find them huddled in a ball and mourning.

Because Protagonist is dead.

And the other people are like: ‘Yes. We know.  This is literally the first thing we knew about them.’

But Mourner is like: ‘You don’t understand. I got to the end.’

And then everyone realizes that the mourner has basically been BURNING through all of the videos Protagonist has addressed to them and got to the last one they made to them before they died. And Protagonist left a final message for each of them.

Suddenly everyone’s having a real frank conversation with themselves about how fast they’re going through their videos and if they’re prepared to keep going at that rate and get to the end, or if they should put it off indefinitely.

And one by one, in time, each of them realizes they can’t put it off.  Not only are they invested in the end, but they care enough about Protagonist to really acknowledge their death.

Each crew member does this at their own pace.  It becomes a rite of passage of sorts. And Protagonist is given some sort of proper memorial so the colonists all have a place to go when their time comes to grieve.

…

BUT BEFORE EVERYONE GETS TO THE END, someone has started noticing how Protagonist treated the robots on the ship over the years. And surprise, surprise, Protagonist named all the robots too and treated them like individuals depending on their quirks.  So now someone has finally solved the mystery of why droid 808 insists on being called ‘Bob,’ and why 239 knows ASL, and why the auxiliary robots are so salty about nobody ever being able to tell them apart.

Not only that, but security logs shows that the robots were about 19% more efficient when Protagonist was alive than they are now.  And THE VERY SECOND the rest of the crew starts observing the same habits Protagonist used in treating these robots ALL OF THAT EFFICIENCY COMES RIGHT BACK.

Because they missed Protagonist too.

…

And things settle.  Everyone thinks they’ve reached the end of Protagonist’s surprises.

…

THEN THEY ARE FINALLY ABLE TO START TRANSPORTATION BETWEEN THEMSELVES AND THE OTHER COLONIES.

And a visiting party shows up.

The visitors are surprised to see HOW WELL everyone on this colony is getting along, because, wow, people are civil where they come from but GODDAMN.

And one of these visiting members is really excited to see their sibling. 

And ‘Oh, that’s so nice!  Who is it?’

And then the visiting member says a name every single person on this colony knows.

The colonists have to tell them what happened to their sibling, Protagonist.

But they also HAVE to tell the sibling what knowing Protagonist MEANT to them. And what Protagonist knowing THEM, meant to them.

And it’s sad.

The colony pretty much wholesale adopts Protagonist’s sibling as a part of their family because they don’t know what else they can do to fill that void.  But just in case, they give the Protagonist’s sibling THE ENTIRETY of Protagonist’s security footage.  Because there is 90 years of it and that way they can carry their sibling with them for the rest of their life even if only in video.

And then the colonists think:

‘This. This was the end of Protagonist’s story. And this was a good a proper way to observe it.’

…

AND THEN ONE DAY A SHIP SHOWS UP THAT IS NOT LIKE ANY SHIP THE COLONISTS HAVE EVER SEEN.

And the people driving it aren’t human.

They speak English and passable French.  They can chicken scratch Urdu, Mandarin, and Swahili.

Everyone is stunned and wants to know ‘why…?’ and ‘how…?’

And the aliens are just, like, ‘Oh. Protagonist.  We ran into them while you were in space. They told us you’d be settling here and asked that we check up on you whenever we were rolling by this quadrant next.’

‘They were really nice. Taught us English. Gave us the files on a couple of your other popular languages as well just to be safe. How’s the colonizing going anyway?’

And everyone thinks back to THAT ONE MONTH of security footage where Protagonist was NIGH IMPOSSIBLE to find.  And when they finally did come back to their normal routine they were really quiet and thoughtful for about a week before really getting back to themselves.

The linguists all suddenly remember that IMMEDIATELY FOLLOWING THAT REALLY WEIRD MONTH, Protagonist had a new coded language saved to their personal affects and was very insistent that they LEARN IT.  ‘FOR REASONS.’

And very quietly, the entire colony makes peace with the fact that Protagonist established a very successful first contact while they were all asleep.

Because of course they did.

What is alive but never sleeps.

A seventh year who hasn’t slept in a month: me bitch.

I love the weirdly specific rules that go with answering a riddle. Like, “I Have Two Eyes But I Cannot See: What Am I?” And the answer’s supposed to be the word ‘iridescent’ because ‘two *i*’s’ right, but like. Why can’t the answer be like… A guy with really bad cataracts. Someone wearing a blindfold. My uncle’s dog. Like why does it gotta be deep

Rainbow Dream

My quirk is being a LGBTQ ally.

(It’s literally my only accomplishment in life)

THIS KILLED ON MY FACEBOOK, so I thought I’d share with my tumblr friends!

WHAT’S YOUR HERO NAME!!?!??!???

mine is…

KID FANTASY!

Let me know what you got in comments or reblogs! Let’s share this fun with everyone!!

Everyone!! After years and years, Paint Tool SAI is finally getting an upgrade! Go try the Paint Tool SAI 2 beta! 

Just a few of the new features:

64 bit/multi-core support

Font tool with text layers

Bigger canvases! Up to 100,000 x 100,000px canvas size for 64 bit

Bigger max brush size (up to 5000px)

Circle and line rulers

Perspective ruler (guide lines for 1 - 3 point perspective)

Select/edit multiple layers at once

Upgrade for free if you already have a SAI 1 license

Paint Tool SAI is my number one recommended art program for digital painters and this just makes it even better! The new font tool and canvas size limits, especially, should make it so much easier for people trying to make comics.

This is still in beta, so it’s untranslated and has some bugs. But it’s still great news! Go try it out!

Gryffindor pride today!

A quick reminder because I very nearly forgot myself, but house pride week is coming up y’all

House pride week is just a fun chance to show off your love for your hogwarts house and the parts of your personality it represents so it’d be great to get lots of people involved by:

wearing your house colours

sharing your art

posting love for your fellow house members

or anything else you fancy

If you want to get involved, use the relevant #housepride tag (e.g. #slytherinpride) and I’ll be sharing people’s selfies, art, etc for a celebration of each of the houses on the relevant blog

(and yes I’ll try and post a reminder the day before so we don’t forget haha)

No no no! This is rape! There is no excuse for her actions!

ppl should learn basic anatomy. Physical responses does not equal consent.

Just a little story if anyone’s interested...

A little background, I have really bad social anxiety. And for literal years the idea of speaking to a stranger made me want to cry, but I have been getting help recently and improving slowly.

When I went to see my little sister in suessical the musical ( she is 10 and was mrs mayor, and she killed it) I sat next to this little old lady named Ellen, she was from Germany but she has lived here in the states since she was in school. She has eight grand children, she lived in Egypt during the early years of her marriage, and she always carries a scarf on her. Now a few months ago I would have never considered this a possibility for me to have a conversation with a total stranger. But with lots of patients with myself I was able to meet a really cool lady, and have a really nice conversation.

If you are patient with yourself you can get better, it’s not easy but the results will be worth it. I just wanted to share, because I was really proud of myself.

My readers: Your writing is so clever and thought out! You probably planned out the whole story!!!

Me, on the outside: I did!!!

Me, on the inside: I have no idea what I’m doing, please, this is a call for help, if you see this message—

Heavenfall is for_____

The stick up August butt

Cards against humanity but all the cards have something to do with lovestruck

Maybe just ask her.

Rock Apparently Factors Into Girlfriend’s Shower Routine

SEATTLE—Saying he was confused about the full extent of its purpose as well as its overall benefit, local man Jacob Ferris, 25, nonetheless surmised today that the oblong rock located in girlfriend Sarah Milstein’s shower caddy must somehow factor into her bathing routine, sources confirmed.

“I guess at some point while she’s showering, she rubs a rock on her body,” said Ferris, expressing what he claimed was “the only possible conclusion” about the light-gray rock in his girlfriend’s bathroom. “I mean, it looks sort of nice, so she could just have it there for decoration or something. But it’s usually right near all the other soaps and her loofah, so I think it’s probably something she actually uses while under the water.”

“I really don’t know how it all works,” Ferris added. “All I know is that in between Sarah getting into the shower and getting out, there’s a rock involved.”

Ferris, who said he was unable to determine exactly when in the showering process the rock first comes into play, told reporters he is equally clueless about what part of the body the rock is used on.

In addition, Ferris said he occasionally inspects the roughly 3-ounce object when he’s in Milstein’s shower, and told reporters that the rock is nearly always wet and is occasionally moved to slightly different spots within the bathtub, leading him to believe that his girlfriend uses it fairly regularly. He also noted his girlfriend’s bathing time never seems particularly longer than the average person’s considering she has added a rock into the mix.

Ferris added that all attempts to incorporate the rock into his own shower routine have ultimately been unsuccessful.

“I tried rubbing it on my skin once, and it hurt,” Ferris said, concluding that pouring soap and water directly onto the rock neither made it softer nor easier on his skin. “I could maybe see how it could get some dirt off of your body, but it seems too painful to work. Her skin usually looks nice though, so maybe I’m wrong.”

“There is a chance it could be a hair thing,” Ferris continued. “Maybe she rubs the rock in her hair? I don’t know.”

Ferris confirmed he has considered numerous reasons for why his girlfriend uses the rock in the shower, including that she has some type of skin condition, that the rock is some sort of weird tradition her family has, or that everyone uses rocks in the shower and he has been out of the loop the entire time.

“It could be for cleaning the bathtub,” said Ferris, adding he once suspected the rock was a device for making the bathroom smell nice, but then noticed it had no discernible smell whatsoever. “Like every few weekends she scrubs the tub with this rock? I guess I could see Sarah doing that.”

While Ferris said he is mostly certain that the rock was initially purchased at a home goods store of some kind, he was not able to completely rule out the possibility it was just a rock that his girlfriend found on the ground and decided to put in her shower.

“I wonder if I should put a rock in my shower for when she’s over here,” said Ferris, who said he once tried to locate a rock at a Bed Bath & Beyond, but left after not wanting to walk up to a sales clerk and ask them where they kept their “shower rocks.” “Or I could just tell her to leave a rock at my place if she wants.”

“I’m probably not going to do that,” Ferris added.

At press time, a visibly perplexed Ferris had seen the rock sitting in Milstein’s trashcan and then looked in the shower to see another rock sitting in its place.

straight men really are on something else

Millennial/ gen z kid: *buys song on iTunes for convenience/cost*

Grown-ass college educated writer: Millenials are KILLING the CD Industry! Most Millennials Don’t Know What a CD is!!

I don’t think ppl realize that the oldest “millenials” are like 30+ now. We know what vhs tapes and CDs are. If you mean teenagers, say teenagers.

Why do people listen to the advice of those wannabe ‘writers’. I mean they are not even published? 

controversial writing tip

open a document and start writing

heartbreaking and disgusting

someone: (says something that’s clearly a joke)

me, internally: please don’t answer bluntly please don’t answer bluntly pl

my neurodivergent brain, taking the steering wheel: well—

Someone who’s never seen The Guy Who Didn’t Like Musicals explain this

Terry Crews is my hero.

“But if you forget to reblog Madame Zeroni, you and your family will be cursed for always and eternity.”

No that’s a General, a gender is the barrier around the wheeles of a vehicle.

What the fuck is a gender

Damn and here I was brushing Kung-Fu Panda off because I thought it was a silly kids film.

imma say it. “kung fu panda” did more for body positivity and saying that  you can be fat and still be healthy and liked than ANYTHING any beauty companies trying to get your money.

Unpopular opinion

Season 8 was good

Yeah, some things were questionable

But the writers did a good job

Y’all a just salty

Your first line was four

Unless you say PO-EM right

In proper English

“This poem doesn’t rhyme.”

Dude about to make haikus:

“Oh you haven’t heard?”

At first I was gonna add something but the conclusion was too perfect

Coming into a fandom late