Latest Posts by nixisverytired - Page 9

“Why are you so upset about adult content bans? You don’t even post that stuff. can’t you just look at porn somewhere else?”

Well, you see, I have this small problem where my very existence is considered adult content by a small but very powerful group of people and I actually rather enjoy being able to exist in public without restriction so uhhhh put that in your bong and smoke it kiddo.

anyone else think it’s kinda weird to say “why would you choose to be a man??” to transmasc/transmen because to me you are implying that being trans is a choice…which it’s not…I didn’t choose to be transmasc…that’s how I was born…

It is so annoying when people respond to "the queer community has an anti-masc problem" with "well society loves and praises masculinity!" Okay... yes... but that's not what we're talking about 😭 The queer community ≠ society as a whole. Also? The society that praises masculinity does NOT praise queer masculinity. Cishet society does not praise butches, masculine trans people, or anyone who is masc in a queer way. And unfortunately, many queer people have this same problem.

*grabs your hands and speaks to you in a tone that is so gentle* they/them pronouns stop being universal once you learn a person's pronouns. Sometimes that person's pronouns will include they/them and in that specific case you are allowed to keep using those pronouns for that person. In any case where you learn a persons pronouns and that person doesn't use they/them, you should no longer use those pronouns for that person. If you continue to use they/them pronouns knowing that person doesn't use them, you are now misgendering that person. Kindly stop doing that please. Thank you, I love you.

Queer 👏 people 👏 are 👏 not 👏 all 👏 fucking 👏 activists 👏

Stop quizzing us on queer history and asking us questions we aren’t qualified to answer about the world and about politics and about our identities

Stop trying to back us into a corner so you can justify your discrimination on the basis that we don’t know what we’re talking about or can’t “defend” ourselves to you

Stop treating every queer person that stands up and says “I want to be treated like a person” as if they’re an activist

Cut that bullshit out

Marginalised people just want to exist and be happy

I don’t know everything, and that doesn’t make me undeserving of your respect or my human rights you fucker

I don’t even owe you the stuff I do know- I still am entitled to basic fucking respect

TLDR; Queer people shouldn’t have to be historians or scientists for you to not be a fucking dick

A while back my pharmacist saw my deadname on my profile and accidentially called it out, he corrected and deleted my deadname from the system so only my preferred name shows up now. There was a crowd of people behind me, so as he hands over the pills he apologized, in equal tone and volume as when he called my deadname and lied saying it's been a long day and he didn't mean to call out -his own- name. I quietly told him it was fine and he didn't need to do that for my sake.

His response: "No, it's my name now."

I went to the pharmacist yesterday, his nametag is my deadname. He informed me he's immigrating and in the process he's changed his first name to my deadname to have an English sounding name. That's why he's now able to get a reprint of his nametag to be my deadname. And repeated, with the intense seriousness of someone who is going to die on this hill: "It's mine now. Not yours. I'm taking." His tone indicated that decision is final.

Bro literally deadnamed me once, and has committed to flat out stealing my deadname. It's his now. Legally. Officially. I over heard his co-workers call him by the name.

since someone wanted to be a clown and make a "transmisogyny" bingo board, i made my own transandrophobia bingo board

isnt it fucked that we still have to remind people that yes, misogyny is still misogyny when it's aimed at trans men and transmascs.

By the way if you can't talk about your oppression in a way that isn't bigoted to other minorities you might need to think about that for a minute.

If you respond to a trans person discussing their experiences and go “that’s not true” you’re just an asshole.

Since it was also said about a trans person’s experiences it’s also a transphobic statement, yeah. But sometimes I feel like we miss how much it’s just… a shitty thing to say to a person, regardless.

If someone says that something is their experience, telling them that isn’t true is asshole behaviour. It’s not how you should treat another human being.

You all realize Feminists have been critiquing "women only spaces" for decades right?

I think often about Audre Lorde's critique of a women only event that welcomed her wife and daughter, but not her son. Because she questioned it - the function and purpose of barring even the sons of Feminist women from Feminist events. Especially the barring of her young Black son, who would otherwise be left alone in the city where he would be more prone to the very violence those same Feminist women claimed to want to change.

Because what functional, forward thinking Feminist purpose does it actually serve to do that? What message does that send to women with sons, husbands, brothers, lovers, friends, who want to involve the men and boys in their lives in their activism? Who want to build a functionally better world for us all outside of the oppressive grasp of Patriarchy? Especially for the marginalized men who often sit at their own intersection violent Patriarchal oppression, that still happens to be Patriarchal oppression despite it not being distinctly misogyny?

What purpose does it truly serve to sequester yourself away into a pocket of the world, detached from those you share it with? What bright and shining future does that really promise you?

I'm so over self described "TME" folks, who are beyond white, making posts either:

- "We are less oppressed bc (makes up a person of color), is more oppressed so tmes- (proceeds to be transphobic) (white savior moment)

- Wishing to commit hate crimes against supposed "TME"s

- Generally being horribly transphobic hiding it behind "protecting trans fems" or "THEYRE WHITE THEY/THEMS" etc

Like you just sound like a toxic asshole. The amount of trans folks who call themselves tme just projecting their insecurities, jealousy, etc. on other trans masculine folks, esp those talking about their own oppression?

They're being transphobic, straight up. Even racist as a treat.

Nobody asks you to do this, it is detrimental and also just plain nasty, like congrats your transition was so easy, you think this is so easy? Sounds like you just want a reason to be nasty and continue to not unlearn internalized everything because you're white and had an ~easy~ time transitioning or whatever.

crazy to me how some people think conversion torture/forced detransition is actually a privilege when it happens to trans men/mascs

Oh definitely. I've found that most online bullies are much less confident when they can't hide behind a screen, but some will continue their assholery in public. I'm genuinely so sorry that happened to you, that's fucked up.

I've met people who were proudly transmeds in the "Queer Friendly" dorms I stayed in in college. Had a guy tell me I was "just confused about my gender" to my face.

I've personally had an easier time rallying support in real life. Talking to other club members one-on-one and saying "hey, so-and-so made some really transphobic comments that upset me today, did you notice that happening?" usually worked. Sometimes calling out the behavior in front of everyone helped as well; chances are other people were upset by it but too afraid to speak up.

And if all that didn't fix it? The space wasn't worth it, and it was time to find a new one.

Can we take a moment to think about the younger trans men and mascs on tumblr right now?

I was a teenager when ace and transmed discourses were at their peaks, and I can’t exaggerate how badly it affected me then.

Now trans men are the latest target, and I’m terrified for trans kids.

It’s easy to say “intracommunity discourse is an online problem! Go talk to queer people irl!”, but people forget that so many kids and teenagers do not have safe or reliable access to IRL LGBT+ communities and support groups. For many, online spaces are the only option.

We need to make sure the younger members of our community are being heard, and block out the hateful voices with messages of support and encouragement. Things are bad enough for trans people right now, and it's easy to forget that trans minors are often the ones suffering the most.

To any younger trans men or transmasculine people reading this:

The hate you are experiencing isn’t normal, it hasn’t always been like this, and it won’t always be this way. It is bleeding out from a small, miserable group of self-absorbed jerks.

Don’t feel obligated to call them out, don’t feel like you have to interact with these people. Please don’t doomscroll through discourse tags; it will make you feel like everyone is out to get you.

If you want to speak up for your community, that’s fine, but please take a break if you feel like your mental health is worsening. Block anybody who so much as breathes rudely in your direction.

You’re just as trans as the rest of us. You are welcome here.

Oh, and if you want to seek out external resources and groups, PFLAG helped me a lot when I was younger. It is an American-based organization, however, so if anyone has recommendations for those living outside of the US, please let me know in the reblogs!

Trans men do not have it easier than trans women.

Trans women do not have it easier than trans men.

Right now, trans women are dealing with hypervisibility. This means these women are the target of a shitton of gross caricatures and blatant transmisogyny in the news and in media. This means lawmakers will name trans women directly as they ban feminine transition and try to wipe them from existence. This means you can’t go a day without hearing about the horrible things happening to trans women all over the world.

Right now, trans men are dealing with invisibility. This means these men are the target of hate crimes that are never reported, or are reported as violence against women. This means lawmakers can sneakily ban masculine transition under the guise of “preserving female fertility” and “preventing young girls from mutilating themselves”. This means their stories don’t get as much attention, even when trans men get murdered in broad daylight.

No, this doesn’t mean violence against trans women never goes unreported, or that anti-transmasc caricatures don’t exist.

One group does not have it easier than the other- instead, they face transphobia that is enacted and enforced by society in different ways. Claiming that one is "better" than the other makes you a transphobe and contributes to the problem.

For the love of fuck please just TALK and LISTEN to people outside of your own community.

(I am aware this is an extremely binary take on this- I’m nonbinary myself, but I haven’t seen as many people arguing that nonbinary people have it easier. I’m sure there are plenty, if I haven’t already blocked their sorry asses.)

I keep seeing people say shit like “I’m against transandrophobia because it’s just a way for trans men to excuse their transmisogyny!”

“Using transandrophobia just means you hate transfems!”

And I wish I could say to these people, as bluntly as possible

Transandrophobia isn’t about you.

Trans men talking about their oppression doesn’t hurt you.

A transmasc person discussing their concerns about forced pregnancy and detransition doesn't mean they think trans women have it better.

A trans man saying “hey, I don’t pass easily, and I still experience misogyny!” doesn't mean he thinks transmisogyny is fake and you pass easily.

A trans man bringing up how invisibility means hate crimes against trans men often go unreported doesn't mean he thinks hypervisibility is any better.

A non-American trans man telling you that no, his life is not actually easier than yours, doesn't mean he thinks you are lying about your experiences.

People saying “Hey, I think trans men are oppressed!” does not mean they think trans women are NOT oppressed.

That's a whole new sentence.

Yes, there are going to be bad faith actors and bigots in every community. Transmisogyny is something we all have to watch out for, because it is so normalized in our society. No one identity is exempt from this.

No one identity is uniquely transmisogynistic, either.

You can’t insist every person who believes in transandrophobia hates transfems and is out to get you, specifically.

It’s not about you.

You want proof? Talk to the trans men and mascs who actually use the tag, listen to them for once. Hear their stories about the oppression they have experienced, and, crucially, don’t derail it and make it about you.

You don’t have to like the term. Hell, even if you’re a trans man or transmasc, you don’t have to use it! But don’t police the people who do.

I love my trans bf so seeing a blog populated by the most based takes ever that involve trans men makes me happy :3

Keep spitting facts my dear warrior

Aw, thanks! I love my trans wife and my trans friends. I want this community to feel welcoming for all of them.

Reblog if you stand against order, civilization, and goodness itself

god i love using my "esoteric non-man gender" (or lack of one) to advocate for my trans brothers and siblings.

I love being exactly the kind of person bigots hate.

Tells me I'm doing something right.

It’s funny how so many of these proudly transandrophobic blogs are just. Blatantly intersexist and exorsexist as well. Literally just blocked a binary trans person who had four posts in a row whinging about nonbinary people and their “esoteric non-man genders”

And if they're not doing that, they're saying intersex individuals shouldn’t speak up about the casual intersexism rampant in the LGBT+ community, because it makes queer perisex people sad :(

Sometimes these dumbasses even go for triple, and call every transfem whose even vaguely supportive of trans men “pick mes” or “brainwashed puppets” or even “trans men in disguise”, because nothing says you’re supportive of trans women like a dose of transmisogyny!

I guess anyone who is proudly a bigot towards one group is probably gonna be a bigot to others, even if they try to pretend otherwise.

Makes em easy to block, though. One less dumbass on my dash, hope they figure their shit out bc god damn, it’s embarrassing to witness.

*nonbinary person calls themself lesbian* "only women can be lesbian!"

*nonbinary person calls themself gay* "you're not attracted to the same gender though!"

*nonbinary person calls themself straight* "that doesn't make any sense!"

*nonbinary person calls themself trixic* "made up label!"

*nonbinary person calls themself toric* "unnecessary label!"

*nonbinary person calls themself gynosexual/romantic/etc.* "you're equating women with vaginas!"

*nonbinary person calls themself androsexual/romantic/etc.* "you're reducing men to penises!*

*nonbinary person calls themself skoliosexual/romantic/etc.* "nonbinary doesn't have a look! you can't be attracted to nonbinary people!"

*nonbinary person calls themself bi* "you're reinforcing the gender binary!"

*nonbinary person calls themself pan* "you're othering transgender people!"

*nonbinary person calls themself poly* "you're just trying to be special!"

*nonbinary person calls themself omni* "that's not a real thing!"

*nonbinary person calls themself ace/aro* "you're just a cisgender heterosexual invading the community!"

*nonbinary person calls themself queer* "that's too vague!"

*binary person uses a label to explicitly express attraction to nonbinary people* "you're fetishising nonbinary people!"

the thread that ties them all together isn't that our labels are wrong or don't make sense, it's that you don't want us to exist and hate on us no matter what we do.

Reblog if you stand against order, civilization, and goodness itself

i want people to get it into their heads that you can still be transphobic if you're a trans person. literally the most vile transphobia i've ever been faced with has been at the hands of other trans people. i have had trans women in my life tell me that i'm not a man because i don't have a penis. being trans does not absolve you from all potential transphobic beliefs you held before you realized you were trans. we all have to unlearn transphobia. you can get off your high horse and acknowledge that you have the capability to be transphobic towards other trans people.

i just remembered that back in elementary and high school, i was friends with a lot of guys and most of them were boy scouts. we were such a tight knit group that it sucked that i was getting left out of things that they wanted me to be a part of. these were all cishet identifying boys at the time, and because i was expressing that i wished i could be in scouts with them, they actually went to their scout leader on my behalf to ask if i could be let in even though i was a "girl". they didn't see me as any different than them. they didn't understand why i couldn't be a part of it.

if you ask me, that's all the proof anyone needs that transphobia & misogyny are learned, not innate. these boys were not old enough to have it drilled into their head at "girls" can't do things that boys "can". they were too young to understand that a "girl" wanting to be masc and seen as a boy could ever be a "bad thing". they saw me as one of the boys. it was never questioned. i actually visited all of these friends after i transitioned and started T and none of them had issues.

they always saw me as one of the boys, to the point of fighting on my behalf to try to get me accepted into their boyscout troop. transphobia, misogyny, and all of these other forms of hatred are learned. not innate. don't let anyone brainwash you into thinking that boys and men are inherently hateful. they're not

The divisiveness between trans people is so fucking manufactured, stop falling for it.

re: that other post. i HATE HATE HATE the modern trans discourse thats just "boys versus girls but Progressive this time I Promise ^_^" like you have GOT to be kidding me. its so so so odd to me that people can Be transgender and still come to the conclusion that Bioessentialism is Good actually, cis people are just doing it wrong. come the fuck on. does anyone remember when it was considered STUPID in the trans community to be policing peoppe based on agab. remember when it was embarrassing to Ask what gender someone was before transitioning. im walking in circles i feel ill Hello

honestly I hate how the "amazon basics skirt and thigh socks" thing went from an in joke that gently teased baby trans girls and encouraged them to get bolder and develop their own sense of style to a much more universal and mean spirited put down coming from people who don't understand how that phase of trying the easiest feminine clothes you can get your hands on in the safest place possible is nevertheless important for so many trans girls

"Trans men aren't targeted by anti trans rhetoric and law."

Trumps executive order to ban gender affirming care mainly fearmongers about trans boys not being able to give birth or breast feed and calls transitional surgery "female genital mutilation".

When we say we are invisible, it's not that we are invisible to the people who hate us. It's that our struggles are invisible to the people who should be advocating for us.

alright im starting to just flat out not trust people who arent trans men/mascs that refer to trans MEN as "tboys" and/or "trans boys"

every time i see that shit its usually tied to some really shitty statement in the same exact fucking post

i might have to start collecting screenshots from now on of what im talking about to demonstrate my point later

but anyway, heres a not so friendly reminder: stop infantilizing us by calling us "boys". its trans MEN or trans GUYS or trans DUDES. you should not be calling anyone a trans boy unless you are familiar with them and they are comfortable with that. because a lot of us fucking arent.

trans men will say something like "having access to reproductive care is something that affects me personally, even as a man. i understand that conservatives speak about it as if it's a woman-only issue, but they see trans men as women too, and losing access to these services would affect us just as much. it'd be nice to be able to add my perspective and experiences to the conversation and have them taken seriously" and people will go "oh so you're erasing women? you're speaking over women? you hate women? you're a misogynist? typical man?"

like for the love of god "this issue affects me just as much as it affects you" does not mean "i think im more important than you" and its wild how many people take it that way. no reasonable trans man is actually trying to make discussions about abortion or trans healthcare or etc exclusively about them, and if you take it as a threat whenever a trans guy opens their mouth in a discussion like this, then that's your problem to work through, not theirs