I Have Gone Fragilely Numb

my desire has become a bloodsport.

a game of such violence

and such devotion,

i'm not sure which one

makes me more sick to look at.

is the hunt the worst part,

or is it the satisfaction

that comes from the

the thrill of the chase?

the relief that comes from

sinking your teeth

into something bloody

at the end of the finish line?

i don't even know how to

identify the things that i want

unless they're covered in blood

and begging to be left alone.

-mars

Having adult mutuals is so funny to me, cause like you mean to tell me legal adults want to hear what a random fifteen year old has to say? Sweeet

i think i've loved you

in every lifetime

on every planet

in every universe

that i have ever lived in.

it's like it's hardwired into me.

i think that's why

i can't move on,

why i can't stop loving you

no matter how hard i try.

it's impossible.

you're in my brain chemistry.

you're in my bones.

-mars

I am not your daughter

I am not

I am not

I am not your daughter.

I am not

I am not

I am not your son.

There are so many times

I want you to see

How I am not

The person you think

But every time I open my mouth

You close off your heart

And now I’m always

In the wrong.

I will listen

I will speak

And I want you to hear me out

I am not

I am not

I am not your daughter.

I am not

I am not

I am not your son.

I will explain this to you

Till my face turns blue

And the stars go out tonight.

Give me a chance

To let you know

This is how I am.

I will listen

I will speak

And I want you to hear me out.

I am not

I am not

I am not your daughter.

I am not

I am not

I am not your son.

I won’t pick a side

For your own comfort

And let myself fade away.

I will learn

The language you speak

And I will preach this back to you.

I will listen

I will speak

And I want you to hear me out.

I am not

I am not

I am not your daughter.

I am not

I am not

I am not your son.

oh no ! my hand slipped ! mb guys

If you tell fictionfolk to stop complaining about how fandom portrays them i'm legally entitled to throw rocks at your head at devastating speeds.

REBLOG if you have amazing, talented WRITER friends.

Because I certainly do, and I love every single one of them and their work.

Lil angst poem :)

And I Am?

“And who might you be?” Well, I’m many things And yet I’m too scared To tell you any of them Too scared to tell you My names that are true Too worried to claim I know who I am So I’ll tell you now Another lie Because what’s one more When I’m drowning in them? “I am ------” But it feels so foul to say It feels like a lie Because that’s all it is. “I’m this and I’m that” But none of it is true And I can’t breathe Someone help But I don’t know how And I am A liar And a coward And someone who is scared I am foolish I am weak I am someone who is scared I shouldn’t feel this way But I do, I do, And I don’t know what to say When you say the name I picked out so carefully Like a slur Like a curse Someone give me a chance Let me explain how I feel Just to be refused again. And I am Someone who is alive But sometimes I don’t know What to say or how to act Because I am not the norm And the norm will kill me In a day or a year The outcome’s the same Suffocation or a blaze Who really cares? And I am Someone who is scared And I know it is without reason And yet I don’t know this But I do. And I am Someone who is confused And who can’t form these words To tell you what it felt like To hear you say my name Like I am a slur and a failure A sinner and a liar.