Saturn in 9th House
Since my last post got me on the topic of Saturn, I figured it deserved its own post. Personally, I don’t like Saturn all that much in astrology. The symbol is alright ♄ (I was honestly thinking of Jupiter’s at first which is much cooler (・_・;
:readmore:
(゚o゚;; but I digress. However, the themes of Saturn just do not appeal to me. Responsibility, rigidity… it just makes me think of a stern judge who passes judgment on others without compassionately understanding what they’re going through. I see it as faulty. Rigid, stiff, error prone but powerful enough to reap no consequence. Saturn gives us form, especially our entire earthly life. We get our Saturn return in our late 20s, which I am approaching. So far, I don’t quite understand what people complain about when it comes to Saturn returns, however I’m confident I’ve caught glimpses of it.
There is something to aging that is just uncomfortable and sad. And scary. However, Saturn being in the same sign as when I was born excites me rather than causes dread, cuz then wouldn’t that mean the world and I will be on the same page again?? I mean come on.
Aries. That is the sign with which one of the ring giants resided when I was born one morning in the summer of ninety-six. 9th house is its house. Don’t ask me degrees, cuz im not all into that. I suck at math. But my sun and moon are both at 0° which I find odd… Pluto too…. Anyways.
So my previous post talked about how Saturn in 9th folks like more orthodox and traditional religions, and that rings very true for me. I’ve always felt drawn towards Judaism, was a devout Mormon for a couple years, etc. Another issue of this placement is supposedly existential nihilism, which I’ve also suffered from greatly. I believe it was even enhanced, because my Sun (life, energy) tensely squares my Saturn, which I read can cause a depressive person. Which is also extremely true…
Maybe if I look at what transits were happening when I was 12, because that’s when I first began feeling depressed and suicidal. It was entirely because I was gay, and ashamed and afraid of the point of even living if I was damned to a life of mockery and eternal suffering afterwards. I was deeply depressed all throughout my teenage years because I honestly just grew comfortable with it. Once your brain is so serotonin and dopamine depleted, and you’ve been laying down for hours with absolutely no joy or stimulation whatsoever… you get kinda used to it. I was too scared to admit being depressed to friends and family, so I just dealt with it my own way. I fantasized about suicide often, wrote emo blog posts and journal entries. You know, the works. But I eventually got over it. But I attribute this to sun square Saturn, like Saturn was just draining and zapping the will to live out of me. I finally got over all of this during a church sermon one day, where the preacher of this architecturally lovely church said that perhaps misery is not something we need to run from or avoid, but a ship that must be set sail. And that really spoke to me. Like it gave my depression, my square, meaning and significance, rather than a fluke that needed to be avoided and corrected.
In my post high school life, I struggled to find meaning. I was constantly wondering what the point of everything was, in a way that was more frequent and emotionally taxing than the average guy or gal. Maybe, maybe not. Who knows. But I was unhappy. It’s interesting that Saturn in 9th could be what caused that.
For the Aries part of my Saturn, I have less to say. However, I am quite impulsive. I feel like I act more like my draconic sun and moon, sag and aquarius, than I do my natal cancer/virg at times. I’ve always been pretty rebellious as well, which I kind of interpret Saturn in Aries to represent. I’m not sure.
Aries was actually my least favorite sign for quite some time. I don’t exactly have a least favorite sign anymore, but if I had to choose, maybe Libra :P ahh got eem. No but seriously. It wasn’t until I grew close to my friend / former roommate who is an Aries, and had a romantic fling with an Aries or two, that I got over my Aries complex. It’s just like impulsive and childish and insensitive. But since I am a cancer, cancer and Aries naturally square each other apparently. So my feelings are in fact, understandable. Natural, perhaps….
Anyways. Those are my thoughts for now. Perhaps it’s the Aries in me, but the idea of growing up and becoming responsible just seems so sucky to me lol. But as I’m typing this I’m realizing that’s not necessarily the case. I’m turning 26 next month, so I’m not sure when my exact Saturn return will be. But I’ve felt the pang of Saturn a few times in my life. The existential realization that our actions have consequences. It doesn’t always matter what our intentions were, or that we didn’t know, or that somewhere someone loves us. None of that can save us from the hard fist of the law, or from the temperamental and violent nature of other humans. But I am 26, and I am officially no longer a kid or a teenager. I’m an adult. And I feel like I’ve gotten settled, and I’m just getting a peak of what is to come. And I’m less afraid than I was before :)
oh tempest. as pluto never quite leaves me the f*** alone, i’m gonna turn my attention to saturn for a second.
sza’s song literally touched me. i’ve been listening to her for years and she always comes out with songs that get me.
well, ya boy has so far survived his saturn return. i survived 27 by a thread, with the help of a very aries individual. he took me traveling around the country and helped me see things differently. helped me grow up. after all, 27 is when i realized i was no longer a kid. that summer was kind of my last ‘hoorah’. i was gettin deep in my lohan era, but eventually the queen herself had to step her p*ssy up and now she runnin a night club in greece. what more could you ask for? she dipped and recovered mighty fine. we could all learn from lindsay.
alas,
i’ve already spoken on my sun square saturn aspect. made me depressed af. but a sermon at a baptist church talked about misery being a ship that needs to set sail, not something to necessarily avoid. hearing that soothed my soul.
now that i’m older and the rules of the game are changing, one aspect of mine that is rather confusing, is that my north node (destiny point) in libra 3rd house, opposites my saturn in aries 9th house.
everyone talks about saturn return and how it’s hard and ruthless but you come out better and more mature from it. lord knows i am as impulsive as the rest of them, and have gotten burned quite a few times now. however, if saturn conjuncts my south node, or where i feel ‘comfortable’ but need to get away from, what could that possibly mean?
south node in aries means i’m very comfortable being confident in myself and other aries traits, but im here to learn the way of libra, that is relationships and compromise and society and rules. not just being so head strong and independent. saturn being here kinda throws me off. if yall have any suggestions, i’d like to hear.
currently i am faced with a dilemma involving my higher education. it seems my 12th house ways have led to the possibility i will not finish my bachelors degree. my crippled moon in the second house isn’t offering me too too much.
we’ll see what happens. i can’t seem to stop talking about astrology though.
written by cherry
Moon conjunct Pluto, Moon sextile Pluto, Moon square Pluto, Moon trine Pluto, Moon opposite Pluto
People with Moon-Pluto aspects inherit old witchcraft and psychic potions from the ancestors, but she can also be the chosen heirloom to destroy generational curses and transform the bloodline for the future.
There are some cultures that consider the tribe’s music and the song increasing frequency, pitch, drums, volume and chaotic crescendo as the symbol of the incoming finale. It’s going to be the loudest right before it ends. And this is partly why people with Moon-Pluto aspects may feel like they were born in an ending, or at a time when everything appeared to crumbling, toxic, or rotting. One of the parents may have encouraged self-containment or detachment from her authentic emotions, maybe she was rejected or invalidated when she approached an adult with her feelings or fears, maybe she was told that she was ‘too sensitive’, or ‘that’s not the way we do things’. Even though she grows up it can be very hard to grow out of those emotional complexes, like the belief that her feelings make her a bad, difficult, or malfunctioning human.
The truth is rather that these people are too much for those who are not enough. She is too deep for those who lack depth, too emotional for those who have been sheltered from life, and too complex for those who are too afraid of what they don’t understand. And as a child, this little witch created lots of psychic waves without trying or realising. She transformed the lives of the people around her, and she was forced to witness the breakdowns and breakups but rarely the recovery. She could hear what they were thinking, sense what they were feeling, and see in clear view what they were hiding. There may have been shadows that haunted her and ghosts that helped her, and it’s common that there are one or a few outsider adults or elders that provide support, maternity, or mentorship of some sort. And she has the ability to shut out everything and hide within another world inside. A playground immersed in Pandora’s toy box, filled with the gifts she never received on the outside, psychic fantasies, labyrinths, muses, messages, guidance, and some kind of orb or light that she couldn’t seem to find out there. It’s one she can always return to and regenerate away from the static and noise, though most of what else she finds in there will remain a secret forever.
Cherry
Joy Sullivan, from “Culpable”, Instructions for Traveling West
10 septembre 2021
je me repose sur le lit dans ma chambre. je suis à la maison de ma grand-mère, où j’habite. la grand-mère sur le côté de mon père. il a aidé mes parents m’élever depuis ma jeunesse. elle est en tout cas, comme un autre parent.
quand ma sœur et moi rations le bus pour l’école, elle nous y amenait (je viens d’utiliser « y » correctement, hein ?) si on voulait, on pouvait venir chez-elle. et maintenant, après tout le drame, je suis de retour.
c’est pas mal. j’étais très content de revenir. la vie tout seul est difficile. j’ai fait la connaissance d’une personne qui a devenue très proche à moi, et j’me suis reconnecté avec des anciens amis. je me suis tombé amoureux deux fois, plus ou moins. la vie m’a fait mal, bien sûr. sans doute. j’ai fais des drogues. j’eu eu le sexe. la vie m’a fait mal. personnes sont mortes. mais, la vie est même bonne.
en tous ces cas, il y a des moments, ou en mon cas, jours, semaines, ou je me sens trop mal. quelques jours je peux pas me lever du lit. quelquefois c’est ok. je pense que je me suis réconcilié avec mes émotions. certainement elles sont plus lourdes parfois. mais je suis même ici dans la planète. j’ai essayé de me tuer plusieurs fois. mais je suis ici. dieu ou l’univers voudrait que je suis vivant. et je vis. pas parfaitement. je fais beaucoup de choses et j’ai des opinions que je sais trop beaucoup me feront mal si j’étais trop honnêt avec des autres. j’ai appris que tout le monde n’a pas besoin de savoir tous mes pensées, mes insécurités. ils les utiliseraient pour me blesser. je l’ai appris à la dure. je ne peux pas faire tout le monde confiance. c’est just la réalité de la vie.
maintenant je me sens assez bien. je voudrais le garder cette façon. si je dois fumer quelque chose ou prendre un moment pour respoir et fermer le monde hors de moi, je le ferrai. j’ai pas autant peur comme j’avais. ai-je même peur ? ouais certainement. mais j’ai changé, lequel est le raison pour la vie, non ?
je suis optimiste. je sais pas l’avenir et ce qu’il comporte. mais j’ai du terrain stable maintenant. j’ai l’intelligence émotionnelle, dans une façon que je n’ai pas eu avant. la mort continue de me fait peur. mais je suppose c’est un message pour un autre jour!
i don’t really agree. i feel like true healing, you look back and aren’t judging yourself (or them). i feel like regret is part of the healing process though.
My boyfriends constantly cheat on me with trans men lol 😩
having cis gay men tell me they “could never be with a trans man” because of the “sexual incompatibility”… i’m sorry that the splendors of t-dick are lost on you
Joseph Mallord William Turner Sun Setting over a Lake, c. 1840 Oil on Canvas, 91 x 122.5 cm