Astrology Journaling

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· LDS CHURCH · SATURN 9H · HOMOSEXUALITY · LIBRA · SUN 12H · /

So I am currently dating a Pisces sun, Cancer moon. I myself and a cancer sun virgo moon. I noticed when I first got into astrology, I was sitting at a table with my group of friends at the liberal arts college I attended. I started asking people’s birthdays and birthtimes so I could generate their chart online. This was before almost everyone knew their sun, moon, and rising. Circa 2014/2015. I had just started dabbling in astrology. I got hooked into searching the web late at night for what aspects meant what, how my house placements could influence what decisions I might make for say, my career, or life’s bigger questions like what is the meaning of it all. Astrology sort of became like my therapy, a search that acted as a distraction from my existential nihilism and just truly piqued my interest.

:readmore:

But, I was also LDS (mormon) at the time, and rather devout. Interestingly, I would later read that people with Saturn in 9th house like I have, tend to favor more traditional religions, such as Catholicism, Mormonism, and Judaism. When I read this in a book about Saturn, my jaw dropped! My search for existential meaning budded in my senior year of high school. Although I was raised baptist by a *fanatic in word but complete opposite in practice * father (love u dad lol), I became an atheist, or agnostic actually, at age 12. By this time, I had already realized I was gay, and that shattered my Christian faith. My pride and ego did not want to believe in a deity that (from my perception) made gay. I didn’t actively choose it or anything, so why should I be condemned for it? However, the seeds had already been planted in my brain. I remember at age 7 or so, praying to Jesus over and over and over again to save me, and that if I died that night to go to heaven. I was afraid. I was afraid one prayer wasn’t enough. Perhaps this was the start of my obsessive compulsive behaviors to come.

See, even though /I/ said I didn’t believe in God or whatever anymore, that doesn’t mean that he didn’t still exist. I figured he had to, since there’s so many religions in the world, and one of them had to be right. So, I found online that most religions are homophobic, even the Buddhists and Hindus, so I concluded that homosexuality = wrong. Even though I was undoubtedly attracted to men, I figured something must’ve happened to make me this way. After all, I was attracted to women at one point in my life. I recall stumbling upon my grandfather’s playboy magazines when I was 9, and what followed was excuse after the next to wander down into the basement so I could sneak a peek. TW - sex ||| However, around age 11 when I first started masturbating, something switched and I started focusing on men. I would look at pictures of men in speedos online, the whole shebang. Eventually I stopped looking at women all together and to this day I cannot get aroused by a woman. So what happened ? What gives ? There was nothing traumatic that happened to me. My family was dysfunctional, divorced, working class. Love was just as scarce as the money, so it seemed. Shit felt tense, no other way to say it. But I stopped living with my grandmother as much and started living with my mom more once middle school started, so with all the resentment and rage of an angsty gay 18 year old, curious for answers on life’s bigger truths, while also terrified of going to hell, and at the very beginning of building a life for myself. I delved back into spirituality, because I felt that was more important than anything else really. When it comes down to it, once you’re dead, how much does it really matter what you had on earth? This was my thinking at least.

((I have a 12th house sun and so does my father. So this emphasis on spirituality makes sense to me.))

So I search and search and stumble upon the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. And I fell in love. It seemed like every answer I had was being answered by something concrete, their ideas about community and taking care of others completely aligned with my own, and let’s face it, the Mormons do a damn good job marketing themselves to others! That’s what missionary work is all about. Utah has a very big communal culture that Kentucky seriously lacks. Here, it’s practically every man for himself. People don’t go out of their way to be nice here. In Utah, they do. They walk the walk and talk the talk. I respected that, and I wanted to be like that.

Since we’re on the topic of the LDS church, I wanna say the church gives me heavy Libra vibes. Salt Lake City is the plastic surgery capital of the country. Mormon temples are just breathtakingly beautiful. They are so obsessed with looking attractive, having white teeth, etc, because it makes missionaries more effective in obtaining converts, and the church teaches that the righteous prosper. So the more you live in according to the word of Jesus Christ, the wealthier and beautifuler and happier you will be. Just seems very libra to me. Lol. I wonder if the church’s natal sun is in libra? Like whatever sign it was when the church was formed in upstate New York.

I started this post thinking I would talk about my relationships , cuz I’ve had a few and dated two Pisces now. Oh well!

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saturn... libra astrology observations lds church sun in 12th saturn 9h 9th house astrology journal mormon astrology saturn in 9th house saturn in 9th astrology LDS

Bonjour les gars!

Hello everyone, et bienvenu à mon blog. Welcome to my blog.

欢迎你，我希望你们喜欢我的博客。我是美国人，我从肯塔基来。我学发文又中文又很多别的言语。我也喜欢做照片，和星术。

(J’ai dû créer un neuf bc my old one got flagged)

So this blog will be in a mix of mostly French and English. I’ve studied French since I was 14, and it is my major in college. I also study Chinese and many other languages, and there will be posts with those sprinkled in. Cependant, mon français est le meilleur de mes langues, sauf l’anglais.

I have studied much astrology, hence the username. My moon natally squares my mars (and my pluto, beuh!) mais, I have come to love this placement because it makes me edgy. And crazy. More on that later.

This blog will be comme une mode d’essence, something to leave behind in this material world. My other NSFW blog is Sunsextilemoon, another rather fortunate placement I have astrologically. It most certainly gives me an unfair advantage in the world, but for that I am grateful.

I live and have grown up in the South of the United States. In Kentucky, if you’ve heard of it. At the time of writing, I am 25 years old. So welcome, I am excited to start this project.C’est partie ! :)

All of my posts will be tagged with either

#aboutme #astronotes #langblr #edits and whatever variants.

I also enjoy editing photos, and will be posting my work.

D’accord, vous êtes prêts ? My instagram is @abandonedjuulfactory, but that is subject to change. Feel free to message me!

CONTINUA

https://youtu.be/MypwdfrPqs

oh my god wrong link

*backspaces*

i will write about personal things pertaining to my life and subjectiveable state of being. so if you can’t handle that then don’t read it. it’s that simple. you’ve been warned.

i will not be subjected to having to defend myself, bye anyone’s negative feelings ! by anything expressed pertaining to my thoughts, past, ideas, or feelings. hold me accountable or keep it to yourself.

Tags

Youtube about me astrology langblr astrology blog chinese langblr french langblr langblr français

5 notes View Post

moonsquaremars

1 year ago

Ho Trovato Ciò Che Non Mi Piace Della Francia!!!!

Ho trovato ciò che non mi piace della Francia!!!!

Macron

[Sarebbe stupendo vivere in un luogo dove ti senti fortemente rappresentata ma tant'è che mi chiedo " Esiste?" ]

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moonsquaremars

2 years ago

linguistics notes // decolonization · language revitalization

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studyblr linguistics indigenous study notes langblr languages university student decolonize linguist problems 9th house pluto in sagittarius decolonialism saturn in 9th house mercury in 11th

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moonsquaremars

1 year ago

Sun Sextile Moon Thoughts

Said to be one of the most benefic aspects in a natal chart, when I read that sun sextile moon natives have a “rather easy” life, I laughed. While the rest of the interpretations are quite flattering, such as being popular, your will and emotional nature in balance most of the time… the downside is that we’re too lazy, or too satisfied with how things are that we can be complacent. After all, you need some friction like in a square or opposition to inspire some action. If you aren’t unhappy with how things are, why change them to be better?

Still, it’s been a few years since I read about my sun sextile moon aspect, and I think it is as great as it sounds. But it can also be a bit of a curse. One thing to note that is interesting to me, is that my dad, best friend Patrick and my ex boyfriend Craig all have sun trine moon. That aspect is supposedly even more benefic than the sextile, because the energies are LESS comfortable, but still very harmonious. I spent many a year thinking I did not know one single other person with a sun sextile moon in their chart, until I revisited my younger sister’s chart and saw it right there staring at me. So ok. My little sister has the same aspect, and a lot of people close to me have trines. Not sure what that means, if anything, but pretty cool. My good friend Chelsea has a sun square moon, which when I read about this aspect, as well as the opposition, I imagined like, very troubled unhappy people. I felt sorry for them. But when I found out Chelsea had a square, and had lived with / known her for a while, I realized that my impression of the square wasn’t necessarily true. Chelsea is awesome, (Taurus sun Leo moon) and while her Leo moon definitely shows and overpowers at times, her Taurus sun gives her impeccable taste and she is a lovely homemaker!!! So even though sextile and trines are technically the “good” “harmonious” aspects, just knowing Chelsea tells me that sun square moon isn’t all that bad and definitely isn’t the end of the world.

BUT as a sun sextile moon native, I guess I am reluctantly inclined to say there may be some truth to it. Growing up I was generally pretty popular in school and classes. Less so on the sports field but I certainly didn’t lack for friends or a social life. But one thing that stuck out to me was when my step dad said I could have my girlfriend over when I was in middle school. He told me he knew he could trust me with her in the house because I was too laid back to like pressure her or yadda yadda. This sounds weirder as I’m typing it than how it felt when it happened. Basically, he just said I’m laid back as a person. Whether that was just an innuendo that he and my mom already knew I was gay, only the Lord knows, however this stuck with me.

Tags

astroblr astrology observations astrology blog astrology notes astrology journal sun sextile moon sextile sun aspects moon aspects

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moonsquaremars

3 years ago