I Can’t Believe I Forgot That We Never Got The Explanation Of 001 Powers Lmao, I Think I’ve Just

do you ever think about how all of percy’s demigod cousins absolutely do not exist on paper other than thalia and jason? like. hazel and nico are from the past, thalia was a tree, and jason was raised by wolves. that’s not even counting the fact that percy was wanted nationwide for murder and terrorism. how do they go anywhere. 

but imagine if they got arrested 

it would probably go somewhat like this 

officer: so you actually don’t have any paperwork so i’m just wondering if i can get in contact with one of your parents? 

nico: literally fuck off 

- 

officer: it says here that you were wanted nationwide for murder and terrorism, and then you were released from those charges, could you tell me how you got released from them? 

percy: yes i murdered the judge 

officer: you what 

- 

officer: so we took your prints and they match perfectly to one of the missing children that beryl grace had 

thalia: i burnt off my fingerprints please tell me how you got my prints 

officer: no you didn’t i have your prints right here 

thalia: those aren’t my fingerprints 

officer: what

the fucking cops finding out that two of the people they have in custody don’t exist, two of them are missing children of a dead movie star, and one of them was wanted for murder and terrorism and was a nationwide criminal

the dude would really go to his superior like “ok so we have 5 kids here… and the least confusing one was wanted for murder and terrorism but somehow got released from those charges…? anyways 2 don’t exist. we ran their prints, there is literally no evidence of them existing, no school papers, government ID, dental… absolutely nothing. the other 2 we think are the two missing children of a movie star, we have records for the girl as late as age 7 and the boy nothing past age 3….”

the dude interrogating them would get so tired so fast 

officer: is it possible that i could get in contact with one of your parents? 

percy: no 

officer, tired of questioning these kids: okay.

jason’s probably trying to do damage control and he is. failing to say the least

percy and hazel cussing out the cop: you motherfucker come back here so we can beat your fucking ass- 

jason: guys please. please stop. why.

-

officer: I need an actual number if you want a lawyer  

nico: fuck off 

jason: nico please stop swearing at the cops 

-

thalia: no you can’t prove those are mine, they could be fake 

jason: thalia, please stop trying to convince the cop that you don’t have fingerprints 

-

jason: percy, percy please. please stop telling the cop about the judge you killed. you didn’t kill any judges 

-

hazel: wanna know where you can shove your damn notepad? right up your a- 

jason: hazel you were suppose to help me not join them please hazel

-

officer: what happened to your first stepfather? because it says here that he just disappeared-  

percy, popping bubblegum: i killed him 

officer: what 

percy: you heard me

-

hades would send ms dodds to play lawyer again and then her and percy would really have an interaction like this

ms. dodds: i’ve murdered a judge before what’s stopping me from killing this one 

percy: haha same 

ms. dodds: what 

nico: don’t look at him. don’t kill the judge, my dad doesn’t want to deal with the paperwork

and that’s not even counting what they have to tell the gods 

zeus: sorry, you what? 

thalia: okay so basically, nico kept telling the officer to fuck off and he asked for a lawyer multiple times but when the officer called the number nico gave him it wasn’t a lawyer, it was a line that conner and travis set up that goes, “haha i fucked your mom” and needless to say the cop did not like that. and then percy convinced the cop that to get out of the murder and terrorism charges he murdered a judge and honestly i’m not sure if he’s telling the truth or not but the cop also did not like that. 

zeus, massaging his temples: okay. and what did you do? 

thalia: i convinced the cop that i had burnt my fingerprints off and we had a 30 minute argument about whether those prints on the paper were mine or not.

stiles stilinski had one true calling in life and he missed it. he was not supposed to be hanging out with werewolves he was supposed to be telling strangers to kill themselves on xbox live. and that’s why he talks the way he does to derek.

Band!Whump

Whumper's an obsessed fan of Whumpee that refuses to stop harassing/following them from gig to gig. This causes Whumpee to be terrified of performing live.

Whumpee getting hit with an object from the audience and getting pretty hurt. Caretaker doesn't even hesitate to throw a set piece RIGHT back at the assailant.

Singer!Whumpee that loses their voice and needs to be monitored/cared for by the band to make sure they don't push themselves too far.

A Whumpee that's super anxious about a show and just can't stop crying backstage about how they can't do it, don't make them do it. Too bad Manager!Whumper doesn't care.

Whumpee playing at a local basement gig and getting too intoxicated/drugged by Whumper. Does the band notice and get them out of there in time?

A Whumpee that can't play their instrument for an important performance due to injury. They're frustrated and feel like a complete burden to the rest of the band.

Feel free to add more!

Geralt getting whacked with a truth spell but instead of Jaskier hearing a confession of love and an outpour of hidden emotions he gets days of a manic Geralt rambling like Brian David Gilbert revealing the most off-kilter unexpected secrets ever, turning his whole worldview upside down with revelations like

The Batfamily as tweets that make me laugh.

will: i don’t need anyone i’m happy with my dogs

will after seeing hannibal when he walks into jack’s office:

Rachel is officially everyone's sugar mommy. Like girl is the daughter of a billionaire with friends who are a) majorly traumatised b) have shitty parents c) are broke ass kids who prob won't live to see another day so she definitely buys unnecessarily expensive things for all of them

Rachel: Here

Percy: Thank you for the keys??

Rachel: Your welcome. The porche is outside chb

Percy: The what??

Obviously its a full time job to get her friends to accept her gifts but then Piper daughter-of-a-famous-movie-star McLean comes along and they join forces

Piper: I bought Annabeth a motorbike

Rachel: How do we convince her to take it?

Piper: I'm just saying its from Hestia

Rachel: Checks out. It'll probably make Athena pissed too