“You Know A Lot About This,” Patton Said, Seeming Surprised.

I find it entertaining that nearly every DSMP character is drawn as their minecraft skin instead of their actual looks (Phil, Sam, Techno, and Sapnap being a few obvious examples)

except Tubbo.

I have never seen an iteration of c!Tubbo with blond hair.

Like, for reference, this is his skin: (image from here)

And I have never seen a c!Tubbo drawing that doesn't have cc!Tubbo's brown hair. This isn't a bad thing! Just an observation.

(If you have blond c!Tubbo drawings, I would love to see them—)

Accidentally Walking In On A Side In The Shower: Logan Version

(There is a see-through glass shower door unless otherwise specified)

Logan: Have you seen my puzzle book?

Patton, face pink, because he’ll never get used to this: No…

Logan: Roman—

Roman: *unholy shrieking*

Logan: Have you seen my puzzle book?

Roman: *still shrieking*

Logan: I’m taking that as a no.

Logan: Have you happened to see my puzzle book?

Janus, soaking in the bathtub, unfortunately without convenient bubbles, as snakes do: No. I’ll tell you if I do.

Logan, unfazed: Great, thank you.

Logan: Remus, I don't suppose you’ve seen my puzzle book?

Remus, showering fully clothed: But you do suppose, or you wouldn't have asked.

Logan: Error. Logan.exe has stopped working.

Logan: Vir— this is my puzzle book! You had it?

Virgil, invisible behind a black shower curtain: Oh… Sorry…

Logan: I respected your privacy for this long, please respect mine.

Virgil, internally: Dude wtf I’m literally showering??

Also, to be more lighthearted—

Roman/Remus: Please convince Thomas to do a Minecraft letsplay series sometime. Also please ask Patton why he asked what a ship was/to show you some of that 'neato artwork and writing.'

Janus: Only answer the ones you're comfortable with: How many arms can you have? (Like is six the max?) Are your scales only on your face? Do the gloves serve a purpose other than a fashion statement/symbolism? Where did you get your hat?

Patton: Please, please, please tell the other sides about ships (if you haven't). It would be funny!

Logan: Please teach me more about psychology. If you don't have time then please just tell me what books/texts you have so I can read them.

Virgil: (I'd swap playlists with him. His taste in music seems close to mine. I'd also ask what other Disney movies he recommends because I watched The Black Cauldron and loved it.)

Nobody Asked, But If I Could Say One Thing To Each Of The Sides, They'd Be:

Roman: We appreciate you. Not everything you make has to be the work of Adam (Driver). It's okay to mess up. You aren't just Thomas's hero; you're the hero of a lot of fans too.

Orange: TBD. (Right now, 'Come out, come out, wherever you are!')

Janus: Thank you. Also, I think your name is awesome.

Remus: You aren't evil. You're just as important as the other sides.

Patton: It's okay to say 'I don't know.' You aren't supposed to have all the answers. You aren't letting anyone down.

Logan: I listen when you're talking, and I learn from you, and I know a lot of other fans do. You can show your emotions, we know you have them. We'll always take you seriously.

Virgil: We love you. You've never been the villain— you've always been looking out for Thomas's safety.

(I know some of them aren't really 'one thing' shh)

(I know Remus is as important as everyone else because @thatsthat24 doesn't make one-dimensional sides. All the sides are like onions: they have several layers and once they're revealed you usually start crying)

Reasons I'd Make A Great Drag Queen, Hypothetically:

- Already very used to wearing "women's" clothes

- Already experienced with makeup

- No need for fake breasts

- I hardly have any eyebrows to cover

- "Women's" clothes/dresses fit my body shape very well

- I'm already familiar with "women's" clothes sizings

- Short hair so I can easily wear a wig

- Pierced ears so I could wear earrings

- Very experienced in heels

- Naturally long and thick eyelashes

- Queer

Patton, poking his head into the dark side lounge: Hey, it's time for d—

Remus: *knees pulled into his chest, having a crisis, mumbling about reindeer*

Logan: *beating Janus over the head and shoulders with a pillow, yelling at him*

Janus: *trying to duck Logan and laughing, saying something about not regretting anything*

Virgil: *sitting in an armchair, on his phone*

Virgil, looking up: Hey, Padre. Dinner?

Patton: *nods*

Patton: Is this... Are they okay?

Virgil: Oh, this is just a Wednesday. 's why I'm always with you and Roman.

Patton: Please... Feel free to come to our side anytime.

Remus, proud of knowing something: Logan. I have a fact.

Logan, not looking up from his book: Proceed.

Remus: Male reindeers lose their antlers in the winter, while female reindeers don't. All of Santa's reindeers have antlers, meaning they're all female, but the media says they're men because they don't want a team of strong females depicted.

Logan: Or they aren't cis. Ever think about that?

Remus: Wait wha—

Logan: Maybe they're transgender. Don't be a bigot, Remus.

Remus: I'M NOT—

Remus: Wait—

Remus: Am I being a bigot???

Logan: I don't know, are you? You're assuming their gender aligns with their sex.

Remus: *now having a crisis*

Janus, walking past, unable to help it: So you could say they're... Transgendeer.

Logan, hopping up, beating Janus with a pillow: I'm trying to escape Patton's constant puns, goddamnit!

But sir that's my emotional support fanfic wip in which I split myself into pieces and gave each piece a character's name

And now, a new one

Heart broke: Good Omens isn't a romance because while Crowley has been in love with Aziraphale for 6000 years, Aziraphale is either too oblivious or scared to see what's right in front of him and pushes Crowley away

Broke: Good Omens isn't a gay love story because Crowley and Aziraphale aren't in love

Woke: Good Omens is a gay love story because Crowley and Aziraphale are in love

Bespoke: Whether Good Omens is a gay love story or not is debatable; it is, however, undeniably a story of the love between Crowley and Aziraphale (whatever type of love that may be)

Neil Gaiman: Good Omens isn't a gay love story because while Crowley and Aziraphale are in love, they are not human males, they are an angel and a demon

I feel like the longer Bad's hair gets, the more "feral" he gets. Like,

Shaved hair Bad: Says "Do not laugh at me, good sir," to Dream after saying he runs faster without hair

Long hair Bad: Confidently, knowingly, and repeatedly asserts that he is on the top and Skeppy is on the bottom, holding up a shirt with decals of both of them on it (in that order), even after Skeppy points out it's the other way around on his version of the shirt

I'm so glad so many other people appreciate this ship too, I thought it was more controversial than it is XD

Remus: When you pet a cat real good and it leans into your touch so hard it flops over? That's the shit.

Logan: Or when a cat kneads you with its little paws? Absolute heaven.

Janus: When a cat pushes away your book and flops down where it was so you pay attention to it instead of the book.

Patton, who just appeared to tell them it's dinnertime, eyes full of tears: Yeah that's the best haha anyway dinner is ready

Logan, fluffing Patton's hair: When you play with Pat's hair and he turns pink because he's adorable.

Patton, blushing: *incoherent stammers*

Janus, sliding his arms around Patton's waist from behind: Or when you hug Pat because he's so soft and cuddly.

Patton, blushing deeper: *more incoherent stammers*

Remus: When your boyfriend's holding Pat so you can do this:

Remus: *kisses Patton on the cheek*

Patton, bright red:

̷̨̨̡̛̙̠̳͇̘͙̩͓͔̗͙͓̘̖̗̪̱̯͓̩̖̭̞̠͖̞̫̹͎̖͎̪͖̦̰͓̞̜̖̭̝̪͊͌͐͗͛̎̔͋̇̓̒̽̉̓̅̓̅́̀̍̅̐̐͑̌̇̾͐̚̚̚͜͠Ą̵̛̪͚̲̫̲̱̫̤̗̰̬̗͑̾̈́̌̐͆̋̅̀̄̂̂̇̿͂̽̀͗͌̆͗̂̓̽̔̑̔͑͠ͅḤ̶̡̡͔͍̟̠̣̱͍̱̖͎̪̝̟͇͖̙̠̬̩̳͇͙͇̦̃́̒͋͛͌̉̈́̊̌̋̀̔͆̈̇͌͒̿̔̎͜͝ͅH̵̢̧̡̧͓͎͙̣̜̺͚̩̼̼̯̟̤̝͕̩͉̯̮̼̪̳̪͇̺̰̆̽̎̀̿́̒̄̃͋̅͛̑͗̇͠͝Ḩ̵̛̘̣̖̝͆̅̆̔͌͋͐͗̆̃͊̏͛̐̄́͂̂͒͂̒̈͊̂̉͌̐̂̊̎̐͒̋́͘͘͝͝͝͝H̶̢̰̳͕̰̲̲̲̬̳̫̪͚͕͔̝̘̹̭͇͇̙̩̜̯͇̣͓̙̺̲̘͎̠͔̫͉̙̞̼̺͓̹͍̰̗͎̊̌̀͗͊ͅͅH̶̨̲͎̰̯͙̹̯̾̓͛͋̍͗̊̕H̷̡̢̢͖̻̭͍͉̠͉͉̦̗͕̩̥̭̜͇͈̳̦̫͓̞̼̹̪̦͚̃͊͊̇̀̄͗͒̓̈͐̆̏͒́̑́̅̊̓̍̑͊̈͛̍̈́̍͗̆̈̅͐̋̉̽̃̽̍̾̾̈́̇̕͘͜͜͠H̶̗̫̬̘̊͌̒̉̀͌͘͝ ̶̢̨̻͕͙̼̘̱̮̖̭̥̠̤͔̲͔̼̥͖̘̙͉̠̹͙̮̙̜̻͕̞̜̫͙͕̾̓̐̏̈́̽́̈́͛̐̀̅̐͂̏͛̀́̄̀́̓̎̄̑̀̿͛̋̔͒́͜ͅͅͅ

QUESTION SANDER SIDES FANS:

Please help me I don't know what this joke means and I can't find an explanation anywhere:

[You call those witty?]

Patton: Well, you call those glasses?

[I mean yes, I'm not sure if you're implying some—]

Patton: Well, I don't think they'll pick up, they don't have a cell phone! ZING!