The Bull Pants In The Thick Heat Of Its Own Blood. It Strains Against Its Own Largeness. This Is No Field,

starting off the year with a two tire blow out and the loss of a very important friendship!!!

will be me for the foreseeable future, hopefully it'll give me more time to post more •3•

this feeling this gives me is what i imagine i make my moots feel every time i post

had a dream that someone suggested the best gender neutral form of address would be Mþ (pronounced Myth) and i immediately said "mith me with that gay shit HEYOOO" and woke up at 4:30am hanging sideways off of my bed

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"just met a boy, as sweet as our berries

fast as the river, and gone just as quick

he said he'd wait but i'm so damn impatient

i just couldn't take it, the distance that is

i up and ran and left him my bracelet

hoping it won't end up on some other girls hand"

-another part of the song i wrote (i posted this without a quote so if you saw that, no you didn't)

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i've downloaded bumble because i feel healthy and lonely and have decided that is what i will do to up my screen time. since i don't have social media. it'll make me quirkier thats fs. will update you on dates and messages and such obvi. mwah kisses

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this is Garf's sunroom, bathroom, living room, and kitchen, respectively. my header image is his office! (sorry no poetry today :/)

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every day when i wake up i take a womans multivitamin and think "everyones divided on if these work or not, maybe i shouldnt even take them :(" and then proceed to say out loud "im not even a woman lol." i then grab my balls out of the saline solution i soak them in overnight, to keep them taught, and stick em back on me to continue my day! its so easy being green! or whatever the fuck that frog said!

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"there's a difference over having power over someone and feeling empowered

and the former scares the shit out of me"

-Queer Recovery Club (Fail Better, Heal Faster)

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its now *checks time* 2:01am ive been listening to MWF audios for approximately 3 1/2 hours. i have one (1) opinion my brain had to mush together, which is, accent are really really hot. i would love to be with someone who has an accent. (this is tmi but especially if they say cᵘⁿᵗ... just. something about it UGH) anyways bye bye luvs u<3

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i work at *unnamed* law firm, specifically in the car accident area and this is exactly what it feels like to drive after every picture i've seen. i'm so scared of being degloved.

i hate driving. here are the laws! if you break them there will be consequences! except youre also expected to break the law just a little bit. people will get mad at you if you dont. you dont have right of way but the person who does is waving you forward for some reason. here's the speed limit! it's not the speed limit, the actual speed limit is that plus ~5-10. the light is green but you're in the turning lane. can you go? should you have gone just then? the person behind you is honking at you. there's a weird noise coming from your engine; if you try to do the right thing and get it checked out, will you get scammed? you are driving a 1-2 ton metal machine rocketing at speeds unknown to humankind for most of history. around a million people die in car accidents every year; that's about one person every thirty seconds. if you take that seriously and try to drive safely then people get mad at you.

OLDER BROTHER SUUUUUUUUMMER!!!!!!!!

we are going to be LAYING IN BED until NOON. we will be drinking MILK right from the jug. we will be scratching our HAPPY TRAILS, HAPPILY!

we're going to have an OLDER BROTHER summer. we will be drinking MONSTER. we will be LIFTING WEIGHTS. we will be ignoring our MOM. we will be surviving off of CHIPS and NOODLES. we will NOT be SHOWERING. we will only be putting on AXE DEODORANT. we will be bothering PRETTY WOMEN and getting REJECTED. OLDER BROTHER SUMMER !!

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"Someone asked how I feel about Captain Crunch. I'm capable of eating an entire box of it without any milk. It is a sweet taste that is indescribable. Captain Crunch is its own flavour."

-my baby, my husband, my lover, Pedro Pascal

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you know, when i made that post about judge judy, i was really thinking about pedro pascal. ive been his fan since i was a child watching my mom watch law & order and buffy. i grew up thinking people on tv stayed that age (i didnt understand the concept of time) and i was utterly disappointed to find out that he did not wait for me (he didnt stop aging and wont sleep outside his age range, which i guess makes him a good person? but like cmon? its me? the literal love of your life?) if he would have me, i would take care of him in old age. change diapers, give medication, bathe him. i would remind him every day of who he was, every reason i love him, and any memory i could think of to remind him that hes human. that he deserves to be here just as much as anyone, else even in sickness.

now that ive basically wrote out my wet dream, bye! love you!!

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🪄🦄🧞‍♀️🧞🧚🏼🧚‍♂️🧙‍♀️🪻🌑🔮