Akutagawa, Opening A Door He Shouldn't Have Opened: Dazai, Chuuya?

*some years later*

Dazai: Atsushi, Akutagawa...

Atsushi and Akutagawa: Yes, Dazai.

Dazai: About the rumour...

Atsushi, Akutagawa: What rumour?

Dazai: Poetry.

Atsushi, Akutagawa:

Dazai: It's not what everybody thinks it is.

Akutagawa: I'm afraid explaining any further while in your partner's bed will only make matters worse, Mrs. Nakahara.

Dazai: Did you just call me Mrs. Nakahara?

Atsushi: It's best if you get used to it sooner than later.

Dazai:

Akutagawa, opening a door he shouldn't have opened: Dazai, Chuuya?

Dazai and Chuuya shocked, as their kissing session just got disturbed: Akutagawa?

Akutagawa, concerned: Is everything alright?

Dazai: It's perfectly fine.

Dazai: Chibi, tell him what we're doing.

Chuuya: We...

Chuuya: I'm teaching him some poetry.

Akutagawa: Poetry?

Dazai:

Dazai: Yes, I love poetry.

Akutagawa:

Chuuya: I'm surprised as you are. He can't get enough of it.

Akutagawa: I'll leave you to do your poetry then...

Akutagawa: *closes the door, regretting all his life decisions*

Chuuya: I had no idea you were so willing to die for me.

Dazai: Trust me I can hardly believe it myself.

Dazai: What the hell are you doing?

Chuuya, reading Dazai's diary: Sus, be quiet. It's an enemies to lovers very good book.

Dazai: It's not what you think.

Chuuya: Damn, so you're in love with somebody else named Chuuya? What were the odds?!

Chuuya: If we were together every day, all day, if we slept together, if we woke up together and if we ate together what would we be?

Dazai: A master and his dog?

Chuuya:

Chuuya: NO.

Dazai: Kissing can burn 26 calories per minute, wanna work out with me?

Chuuya, offended: Are you calling me fat???

*the agency reorganizes and cleans the office cause it is a total mess*

Kunikida: We need a more efficient method. What about the Norwegian system Munkensmat?

The ada: ???

Kunikida: In Munkensmat, you get rid of all personal possessions except one.

Dazai: Ok I'll go first. It's between my antidepressants and this fidget spinner.

Dazai: *throws in the can his meds*

Dazai: I think I made the right call.

A random drunk girl trying to pick Dazai up at a bar: I've never even kissed a guy.

Dazai, staring intently at Chuuya across the room, chin propped up on his hand: Me neither~

Ango: They say partners can never be just friends. It's always sexual.

Dazai: *scoffs* That's dumb. Look at me and Chuuya. There's nothing sexual between us.

Oda:

Ango:

Dazai: How old were you guys when you found out Santa wasn't real?

Atsushi, whispering to Kunikida: How old am I?

Kunikida: You’re 18, Atsushi.

Atsushi, sadly: I was 18.

Dazai: Chuuya is mad at me and I don’t even know why.

Odasaku: Were you talking before he got mad?

Dazai: Yeah.

Odasaku: That’s probably why.