Dazai: How Old Were You Guys When You Found Out Santa Wasn't Real?

Dazai: Valentine's day is just a consumerist holiday that holds no real value other than drive people insane buying heart shaped chocolates for their significant other and-

Chuuya: I wrote you a poem.

Dazai, already crying: You did???

Dazai: I’ve been dropping them the most insanely obvious hints for like a year now. No response.

Chuuya: Wow. They sound stupid.

Dazai: But they’re not. They’re really smart actually. Just dense.

Chuuya: Maybe you need to be more obvious? Like, I don’t know… "Hey! I love you!"

Dazai: I guess you’re right. Hey Chuuya, I love you.

Chuuya: See! Just say that!

Dazia: Holy fucking shit.

Chuuya: If that flies over their head then, sorry mackerel, but they're too dumb for you.

Dazai:

*how Dazai overcame his fear of dogs*

ada Dazai: They say that the phobias are overcomed by taking incremental steps to confronting the phobia in question.

ada Dazai: In my case, that started with watching a tv show that was adored by all children but for me was a staff of nightmares.

*flashback*

15!Dazai: *watches Scooby Doo*

*end of flashback*

ada Dazai: The next step was to come face to face with real dogs.

*flashback*

15!Dazai outside a pet shop, looking at 5 adorable puppies: Ok that's enough. *runs away scared*

*end of flashback*

ada Dazai: AND finally, a close encounter of the third kind; physicall contact with the canine spices.

ada Dazai: *points at Chuuya*

Atsushi: How do you guys handle a break up?

Akutagawa: I try to get them back.

Chuuya: Alcohol and making out with 5 people in one night.

Dazai: I listen to Taylor Swift and stare into the void.

Chuuya, during a mission: How are we gonna get out of this?

Dazai: Don't worry, I have a plan!

Chuuya: *sighs* Ah, the four words society fears most.

Dazai: I’m an excellent driver.

Chuuya: You almost ran over a woman by accident.

Dazai, remembering how that woman smiled at Chuuya flirtatious: Ah yes… by accident… yes.

Dazai: Some of these ppl out here rlly got me struggling to be ace.

Ranpo: You're talking about Chuuya.

Dazai: I'm most def talking about Chuuya.

Dazai, being captured by the enemy who is dragging him away : Let me go and I'll pay you whatever you want.

Dazai: Fuck I forgot my wallet!

Dazai: *turns back to look at Chuuya*

Dazai: Chuuya, pay him whatever he wants !!!

Dazai: If you tell anyone that we kissed I promise I will make your 2024 a living nightmare.

Chuuya: How is that any different from now?

Akutagawa: Mr. Dazai, truth or dare?

Dazai: Dare.

Chuuya: Why do you always choose dare?

Atsushi: Because he’s too scared to face the truth.

Chuuya: And what’s the truth?

Atsushi: That he’s waiting for someone to dare him to make out with you.