Dazai: I don't know what I feel about chibi.
Natsume, in his cat form: You fucking spend all day and night thinking of ways to annoy him, you call him with pet names, he's your partner in crime, you trust him to save you every fucking time you're in death's door, he's the reason you don't wanna die anymore and you don't know how you feel? Please, for fuck sake, you love him.
Dazai:
Natsume: I mean— meaw.
Dazai: I need a top.
Ranpo: Chuuya is in the pm, but Atsushi can go get him for you.
Dazai, blushing: I meant for this food container!
Yosano: Ok, bottom...
Dazai: Yosano, please.
Yosano: ...drawer.
*ada!Chuuya au*
Atsushi: I can't tell whether Chuuya joining the ada was a good thing or not...
Atsushi: Because on one hand, I have much less paperwork to do, and Dazai seems much happier and more stable.
Atsushi: On the other hand-
Dazai, through the office door: Fuck yes Chuuya, there, there!
Atsushi: That.
Dazai: Kunikida and I get along perfectly. Don't we, Kunikida?
Kunikida: I have never been so stressed in my entire life.
Dazai: And then Chuuya walked by ignoring me like I wasn't there.
Odasaku: Does he even know you like him?
Dazai: Idk, I've been ignoring him, been mean to him. What else can I do?
Odasaku:
Ango:
Odasaku: Sounds you've tried everything.
Odasaku, to Dazai, about Chuuya: What is a rival if not a crush you're mad about having?
Fukuzawa: And, as always, here's your weekly reminder that therapy and other psychiatric services are covered by the ada healthcare plan.
Dazai:
Dazai, whispering to Kunikida: Why does he always look at me when he says that?
*how Dazai overcame his fear of dogs*
ada Dazai: They say that the phobias are overcomed by taking incremental steps to confronting the phobia in question.
ada Dazai: In my case, that started with watching a tv show that was adored by all children but for me was a staff of nightmares.
*flashback*
15!Dazai: *watches Scooby Doo*
*end of flashback*
ada Dazai: The next step was to come face to face with real dogs.
*flashback*
15!Dazai outside a pet shop, looking at 5 adorable puppies: Ok that's enough. *runs away scared*
*end of flashback*
ada Dazai: AND finally, a close encounter of the third kind; physicall contact with the canine spices.
ada Dazai: *points at Chuuya*
Chuuya: If we were together every day, all day, if we slept together, if we woke up together and if we ate together what would we be?
Dazai: A master and his dog?
Chuuya:
Chuuya: NO.
Dazai, about Chuuya: Just when you think you've hit rock bottom, you want to get fucked by a short ginger.
Ango: 🤦♂️
Odasaku: Please stop talking.
Dazai: Why do you seem to be so nervous around me lately?
Chuuya: I- it's just... I don't know. I guess I don't wanna say something wrong?
Dazai: Babe, I have a praise and a degradation kink. So whatever you say, it will somehow work for me.