But I Didn't Save Them 5.13 // 8.17

If you disagree just block me :)

2025-04-05

This is the autism website but you must be aware of the unspoken things and the subtle things and everything a normal adult would know and if you say you aren't you are making excuses. This is the autism website but if you bring up autism in any situation where it's not the primary topic you're derailing and making up problems. This is the autism website but we don't talk about autism outside the memes. We do not miss social cues we just ignore them. But this is the autism website.

buck finally settling into eddie’s house by literally arranging his furniture in the same fucking places eddie’s was is absolutely crazy actually. especially when he was like. it doesn’t feel like My Place. it feels like eddie’s Old Place. and yet. AND YET. it was the familiarity. the setting it up the same way eddie had it set up. that settled him. that made it feel more like home. something something it was never about making it His Place. it was never about erasing eddie and making his own space separate from eddie. it was about making his own space WITHIN eddie’s space. "this is eddie’s house, i'm not really a guest" manifested.

There is so much shame that comes with having amnesia and other memory issues.

As someone that has multiple conditions that cause memory loss (DID, TBI, ADHD, etc) we can't even begin to describe the shame and guilt that is conditioned into people who are """forgetful""".

Having memory issues does not make you a bad person. It doesn't mean you are uncaring, lazy, or immature.

Memory is simply one of the many things that people can struggle with. It has nothing to do with who you are as a person. We are conditioned to think otherwise because being "forgetful" makes people less productive to a capitalist society. Society is arranged to make life a living hell for people with memory issues. This is an aspect of structural ableism. People in power do not want people like us to exist because we are less useful to them.

Dont get me wrong - it can absolutely hurt when someone you care about forgets something that's important to you. You're not wrong for feeling upset that someone missed an important date, event, detail, etc. That makes sense and feeling that way is not inherently ableist.

All we ask for is for compassion to be extended to people who struggle with memory. We ask for people to stop assigning moral value to how effective someone's memory is. We desire for social structures to accommodate people of all cognitive functions, not just those who are most productive to a capitalist machine.

And if you are someone with memory issues, know you do not need to be ashamed. We've been conditioned to hold negative beliefs about ourselves and our struggles for somebody else's benefit. Guilt and shame will not resolve our struggles. You are worthy and valuable as you are.

What do you mean the normal amount is zero?

You sure of that??

Like yeah there are times i don't feel pain, but like that's the exception not the rule....

Like that's not a rule... Right?

A reminder that if you didn’t need a mobility aid you wouldn’t be day dreaming and fantasizing about how they would help you navigate the world and that no matter how much internalized ableism you hold it won’t change your reality about your conditions and you SHOULD do what is best for you because no one will punish you more than yourself if you keep ignoring your needs

you don't "hate kids," you hate being forced into a caretaking role.

you don't "hate kids," you hate censorship passed off as family values.

you don't "hate kids," you hate the constrictiveness of the nuclear family.

you don't "hate kids," you're just not used to occupying fully age diverse spaces so you're not used to the noise or the many different kinds of needs.

you don't "hate kids," most public spaces just aren't built for kids, and so the few kids you see are always uncomfortable and distressed.

you don't "hate kids," you hate the intense social rules assigned to kids and anyone who interacts with kids.

You don't "hate kids," you hate how society reproduces its most restrictive elements and how kids are powerless to resist it.

Is it a headmate? Is it a fragment? Is it a facet? Is it a persona? Am I subconsciously masking? Am I subconsciously/involuntarily otherlinking/copinglinking? Is it a kinshift? Is it a ’flicker? Is it age regression? Is it a mood? Is it impulsivity? Is it an intrusive thought that I’m reacting to? Is it genderfluidity? Is it pronoun/namefluidity?

Who knows! Who cares! I don’t need to stress about this, it doesn’t matter! It’s a mode that the “I” is in, the way I feel in that moment! And I will make a pluralkit/tupperbox for it so I can express myself and decide the rest later! Or never! These labels are a construct! Personhood itself is a construct! I don’t need to box myselves! I can just live!

For real

Until you’ve ever been gaslit by the healthcare system I don’t give a fuck about your opinion on self diagnosis