Littlecigs - Out Of Body

tear me to shreds

I'm sick of this mad, mad world

make me someone's bride and count to ten

then blow my head out at the alter

I'm sick of this mad, mad world

I'm sick of the people

I'm sick of the doctors

I'm sick of YOU telling ME what's wrong with MY head

when it's MY head and NOT YOURS

make me into someone's dinner and say a prayer

tear me to shreds

I don't care

BPD culture is I'd rather die than even feel abandoned.

Lovesick and loveless

Empty hearts and empty stomachs

Quiet nights and weekend dates

With mannequins and seedless grapes

And skin too tight, too loose, too close

Skin on skin on skin on bones

Within these walls I cry alone

There's no one real inside this home

Edward Hartwig, Act 60s

why is it that every good thing is immediately followed by a bad one. why can't I be happy. why can't I be ok

i love when i warn people over and over and over again that i have "ugly" symptoms of my mental disorders and that i won't always be easy to deal with and they assure me it's okay and it can't be that bad and say all these nice things then fuck off and leave when things start to get tough. cute.

If you’ve had a period of basically dissociating from a hard time of your life, you’ll know that doing even the littlest thing that has an effect in the real world vs on a screen can be so profound. Something as little as you doing a favor for someone, or someone noticing something about you that you didn’t think anyone would even pick up on bc your brain is all messed up about being perceived. Your living footprint is all muddied and murky. It takes a lot to even feel like you’re inhibiting your body. So consequences that come as a direct result of you just living, whether big or small, blow you away on an inexplicable level