I’m Going To Kill Myself

The saddest moment is going to self harm and realising you have to look for clean skin to cut...

The thought of me being dead will always haunt me. No matter how much fun I would have. I’d think that everything would be better if I wouldn’t be here while I‘m laughing with you.

(-deepthoughtsvibes)

Reblog if you’d happily trade your t*ts for a thigh gap.

Biggest inspo ever

masterpost of my fav pilates workouts ⭐️

My mother is a pilates teacher and I’ve always watched her as she worked with love and passion, however I’ve never understood how truly amazing pilates is. I’ve been doing on my own pilates workouts for a year by now and with my mom’s teachings I’ve seen major changes in my physique that not even thousands of cardio workouts could achieve. Also I have to give props to whoever invented pilates because you can stay in your home, without sweating too much and wearing comfortable clothes and at the same time getting effective results. So I chose to share some of those videos with all of you and I’m going to update everytime I find some new that I enjoy and think are suitable for everyone.

1)  For beginners: 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lCg_gh_fppI

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K-PpDkbcNGo

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b2ZFwMyx9w0

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yDDFS1kPplI

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1gzT-FZ45i0

2) More advanced:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iIS03agmr9M

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iWjRCMB_mzY&t=9s

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sKIqLUlPGBw

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pvOc0Ed9MYI&t=166s

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XkiiFeFePmI

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ywJe6ZJhyA0

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-lww6qnPH34

Be aware! some common mistakes people do and that I’ve done for a long time:

don’t hold your breath, breathing is your friend: exhale during the hardest part of the exercise and inhale during the resting part

DO NOT ARCH YOUR BACK! THIS IS SO IMPORTANT. If your lower back is hurting you’re not working your abs at all but you’re just hurting yourself. Don’t push your body where you aren’t comfortable, there are always modifications you can do.

always keep the core strong when you’re in plank positions, otherwise you’ll be working your wrists instead of your abs.

when you’re doing squats be careful to your knees, they have to be in line with your toes: you want to work your booty and quads, not hurt your poor knees.

open your shoulders, stay tall like you have a glass of water on your head and open your chest because your back needs lots of love and care since we always neglect it: posture is so important!

don’t think working out as pain in the ass: it helps your body, it’s a moment of healing after all those hours spent at school or at work, it’s a moment of recovery and serenity that you owe to yourself.

Rainer Maria Rilke, Rilke’s Book of Hours

Went over my calorie budget by 16 cals 🙄

Breakfast = berry smoothie

Lunch = boiled curried egg whites (60 cals), Vitagrain seasame crackers (78cal), red apple with honey (90 cals) and cracked pepper jatz (38cal). 266 Calories

Dinner = Pepsi max

I was meant to stick to 250 cals today but when I saw the jatz crackers I couldn’t resist but to have some.

Stats - Active 7/22

I DO NOT ENCOURAGE STARVING, PURGING, PROANA OR ANYTHING THIS IS A COPING TOOL

17 - 75kg/150lbs - 164cm/5’3 - BMI 27

Goals & rewards

GW1 ~ 80kg/176lbs -🔓New shirt

78kg/171lbs -🔓

74kg/163lbs -🔓

GW2 ~70kg/154lbs - 🔓Waist beads

68kg/150lbs - 🔓

GW3 ~ 65kg/143lbs - 🔒Brandname pants

62kg/136lbs - 🔒

58kg/127lbs - 🔒

UGW~ 55kg/120lbs - 🔒Dunno yet

A little about me

Ive had an Ed since I was 8 unfortunately and it went from BED to ANA with b/p subtype since then

I fast as long as I can as eating nothing is easier than eating a little, the longest being 127 hours (6 days). Whenever I eat something I purge it regardless of it being a binge or not, I’ve been trying not to but it’s really hard to sit with the feeling.

Feel free to bully me with meanspo, sweetspo and whatever

I want to look as sick as my thoughts