It’s An Act, She Tells Herself.

“should i?” 

a hand models the ring, flashing it here and there, watching the light catch it in the most harmonic of ways. the glint is appeasing, and lili hardly said no to things that were offered — especially pretty things.

it was awfully on brand of her.

a cold brilliance wishing to be eclipsed by a warmth she couldn’t quite give herself. maybe it was why no matter her internal qualms that she so frustratingly and rather involuntarily projected, she still wished to be around jisoo — like a moon caught in it’s planet’s orbit. 

she wants to scoff, but she reserves the bite for a smile, albeit an amused laugh that she hides behind a hand, sparkling ring and all. “bite — as if you could ever bite.” she looks over him at the computer screen that held stills of their latest shot, pointing out one of the slides where the lighting hit her the best but still held a small cover of a shadow, much like a waning moon. “i like this one, the lighting was a nice call.”   

gorgeous, but deadly - she had an aura about her that fit the moon. difficult to reach, a bit cold, a nice contrast to the warmth that haru could convey. or was he describing how they were acting to one another right now? they didn't quite resolve everything from their last instance, and now they danced in limbo. ( again. again ! ) maybe they'd orbit each other that way eternally. and besides, its not as if he's acting against her role. it just happens to be his brand. and happens to be his commercial that he's looking over. she could just pretend he's not here... actually, no she can't. it'd look so badly upon them both since they were around others, and a tarnished name or reputation was difficult to wipe. "you can keep it if you like it," jisoo comments in response to her, albeit a bit nonchalantly. he's leaving the answer in her court for her to say yes or no, that she possibly couldn't.

this isn't quite an olive branch though, but what would it take? at least they were being cordial right? ".. feel free to chime in too, lili. we don't bite here." the swap of the set gave him an opportunity to actually discuss things with his model, if she wanted to, that is.

“it’s —“ a pause, her finger dangles in mid-air as she tries to find the name among her memories — fuck, now would be the worse time to admit she was bad at names, wouldn’t it? “it’s — she was in our korean language lesson yesterday … she dyed her hair that really odd color of green.” it was ash blonde but after swimming in a chlorinated pool …. yikes.

“what’s her name again —“ it was literally on the tip of her tongue, which was now bitten between her teeth as she tries harder to come up with the name. fuck, was anyone else this forgetful?

“faking their birthday?” now that kyoka mentions it —  “didn’t a company make their whole girlgroup fake their birthdays to match some type of group concept?” she could have sworn she saw something pass through the netizen forums about such a thing.

Damn, she really needs to get with the times it seems. Kyoka didn’t realize there was a 04/04/04 birthday in the Legacy population. “Who? That birthday doesn’t ring a bell for me, not right now at least.”

It’s a shame though, that they’re apparently just missing out on 03/03/03. Kyoka thinks it would’ve been funnier if they had a consecutive series of those birthdays, and she says at much. “Imagine if they put us all in the same group,” she adds between mouthfuls, “Too bad about the missing 03/03/03. But no one’s stopping anyone from faking their birthday I guess.” She has no idea about how that works logistically, but hey, it’s the thought that counts. Or so she thinks.

lili had always been an only child. 

( and she definitely acted like one, too )

fortunate for her as she never wanted siblings and she had always wanted more attention than any of her respective legal guardians could ever give. but a sibling arises in the form of one parker su. it was funny, really. how quick they clicked, how odd that despite being from the same state — sure, california was big but it wasn’t that big — that despite it all, she found his presence to be not as annoying as she would have expected. is this what a sibling relationship was like for others?

( she wonders if her grandma would adopt parker, too )

rather than seeing him, lili hears him and can only guess to what is causing his burst of concern. and while it wasn’t unwarranted, lili — sincerely — couldn’t find what was wrong with her outfit.

did he find it offensive that she was wearing a dress from last season? 

she snorts, toe of her heel meeting with his ankle gently as a jab for his nagging. “lilian?” an amused brow rises, “who’s that?”

then she frowns at his fussing — hands making no move to do as he says because this ensemble was not meant for a coat to cover ( the coat was but a mere accessory to withstand the chill but other than that, lili was bound by the inherent belief that she’d rather die pretty than badly dressed ) — her hand running through her hair as she lets his words go from one ear to the other before lips purse and she groans, “you said i was going to be meeting your friends, of course i had to make a good impression. don't i look like someone you'd want to meet your friends?”

sure, her personality was rough around the edges but lili assumed that a pretty dress and smile would at least soften those jagged parts — kind of a trojan horse a la miu miu sort of thing?

yes, that shall be her optimal reasoning for wearing the sheerest dress possible on what could be the coldest day of february. tugging on his arm, she pulls him along, amidst his english woes, “okay, okay — i hear you. i’ll make sure to stay close to the radiator at the restaurant. let’s go — like you said, it’s freezing.” at least her gloves could fight off the frostbite, she thinks. 

little red packet

@lgclili and parker spend some "sibling" time together

At this point, it was pretty par for the course for Parker not to go home during any breaks, even when he had them. For as long as the flight was back to California, the time that was typically allotted seemed way too short, but as a trainee, it had seemed more doable just based on how much he missed his family; however, that had been simply out of the question this year. Even more so when the Seollal break was only four days, but this year Lunar New Year seems a little less lonely. For one, he had Hyuk to spend time with, but more than that, somewhere along the line, he managed to sort a dinner together with some of his favorite people: Yichen, Yuxi, and Lili. 

It was about a quarter to six when Parker’s cab pulled up not too far from Daerim-dong. Even when a good deal of Koreans were taking the time with their own families, he could still see a few people making their way here in there. Thanking the driver, Parker adjusted his scarf and looked around, hoping to spot a Lili. She hadn’t met either Yichen or Yuxi before and had insisted on meeting up with him beforehand, a request that Parker couldn’t refuse. Even if they weren’t related, all three held a special familial place in Parker’s heart, but especially Lili. 

“Ah! Are you crazy!” he called out when he called her. Parker’s furrowed his bows and switched to English to sound more like his own mother.  “Lillian, you’re going to catch a cold! Yes, your dess is cute. Button up your coat!”

there are days when lili is a little too into her head — these days include the times she’s stressed before a monthly evaluation, chipping a nail, mascara running when the tears just can’t stop, the impending doom that her birthday is coming a little too soon, and right before a big date. 

she isn’t one to third wheel, but she is lili and selfishness was just something her friend and her latest boyfriend was going to have to deal with unless they’d rather spend the rest of their date watching her fall into a spiral of nerves ( because lili nervous was never a good sign ). what she didn’t expect was the consequence of such selfishness would lead them to dumping lili on the first ride they could find and running off to leave her to her demise.

lili: 0, disco pang pang: 1

it was safe to say that lili had no idea what she was in for as she was herded onto the contraption; feeling somewhat like cattle being wrangled onto the back of a truck. the unease from the structural integrity of the ride intensified the feeling tenfold especially when she heard the creaks and the whirrs as it started up — and suddenly she was being knocked from her seat; manicured hands reaching out for nothing but air as she feels her body afloat.

once this was over, she was going to murder her friend — that’s if she survives this.

while her screams were muffled by her mask, there was nothing that could hide the horror in her eyes as she finds herself jostled higher and higher with each rough jerk of the ride; hands scrambling to grab whatever she could as she feels herself fly from one part of the ride to another until fingertips brush against a shirt — from there she’s holding on for dear life, “don’t you dare let me go!” nearly crying into the stranger’s neck as she does so.

⸻ WHEN WE DISCO ( @lgclili )

Sunday - cheat day - was the one day of the week Byeongkwan could do whatever he wanted. Lounge around the trainee dorms in his underwear all morning? Check. Spend an hour at his favorite record store? Absolutely. Go on blind dates? If the stars aligned ( translation, if one of his friends made a very convincing powerpoint presentation and managed to successful send her buddies off to meet somewhere in Incheon - ). But most importantly, he could eat whatever the hell he wanted. This usually meant sampling every street food stall within arm's reach in the hour leading up to said... alignment.

Sure, he was supposed to be on some strict diet, dedicated to maximizing gym time or whatever. But what his personal trainer didn't know wouldn't hurt him...

See, the problem was his trainer did know ( How? Was he psychic? Have a sixth sense for Byeongkwan slacking off?! ), and he seemed to have made it his life mission to catch the trainee in the act - mid inhale of three odeng skewers shoved into one bite.

"Oh, shit."

The smart move would've been to accept his fate ( 500 push ups and stair sprints until he saw stars - ), but instead Byeongkwan made the executive decision to dodge. One day he might appreciate having someone so invested in his fitness, but today was not that day. So, he took off. Left, right, then a slide through a group of pedestrians, all while cursing his choice of sneakers. Somehow, he ended up in a line of college students waiting for a turn on the Disco Pang Pang ride. No one batted an eye at the random guy in a hoodie, mask, and oversized shades ( the pinnacle of subtlety ) sliding into their group as they filed onto the ride.

Settling into his seat, he nodded along to their small talk, murmuring something vaguely enthusiastic. His attention, though, was fixed on the man standing below, arms crossed and glaring. Byeongkwan lowered his shades, wiggling his eyebrows before leaning back smugly. He'd rather endure three hours spinning on this thing than -

"Woah. Is it always this fast?!" he sputtered, scrambling to grip one of the guardrails as the ride jerked to life, tossing its passengers like ragdolls.

“was that so hard?” lili was no professional but she wasn’t entirely unfamiliar with the game. she had to do something on those thirteen hour flights from los angeles. sure, lili was probably being a little too forceful in her approach but what better way to show the gameplay than to test out each and every action extended to them. “how many did you end up collecting? i have a couple in my pockets, i think we can make you a flimsy net like the one i have!”

cycling through the equipment in her pockets, each one showing up with a flourish until she settles on the flimsy net that she wanted to show him. “like this one! and if we find a stone we can make an axe!”

the novelty of the game had died on her long ago but for someone like hyuk, it might be interesting since it appeared he had never played this game before.  

“this still looks so shady”, hyuk replied, eyes focused on how lili was playing and she looked skilled enough with her console, while he looked super awkward. he also didn’t know why he acted so defensive about it - it was just a game! - and people watching them would probably enjoy them being like that. “but okay, i will trust you”

in the next few moments, he pressed the controls like lil instructed, shaking a few trees around, but unlike her, he didn’t get a leaf, only fruits and branches. that game looked innocent enough and he was starting to like it.

“now what we do with all of this?”, he asked, his character collecting a branch, then returning to some random point on the screen.

𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐂𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬

graceful? she’s as stiff as a board, no charisma whatsoever !!! so lifeless

she’s so pretty, it’s a shame it doesn’t translate into her dancing ㅋㅋ

getting a lili reveal wasn’t on my 2024 bingo card but she’s already captured my heart ♡ 

i love the way she dances! this is truly one of my favorite videos i've seen from legacy in quite a while tbh!!

^ you must have been watching a totally different video than i was... i wanted to see her do more than dancing because in this industry, you need to be multitalented and this video makes me assume that she can only do one thing and that's dancing....... ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

▷ 𝐋𝐨𝐚𝐝 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬

XU LILI '01 / B. BEIJING, RAISED IN LA .

hellooooooo ~ this is nini again with a second character who's definitely a whole 180 approach from jino lol. took me a while to get an intro up because end of the year things kept me busy ! and i was also still trying to figure out how best to explain little miss lili here ~ but nevertheless, we're here now and down below you can get a good idea of this gal who is both bite and bark and will very much prove it !!! but i promise she can be nice even if it comes off haughty and self-serving so please like if you'd like to plot ♡

TL;DR signed jul. 2020, female senior morning group, female dorm a; self-serving, self-absorbed and overly self-concious? yet deep, deep, deep down she has a heart of gold? just got to dig deep enough underneath all her generational trauma lol

BACKGROUND

born li yifei, her name was legally changed to xu yifei when she got adopted by her grandmother / it was further changed when she gained dual citizenship through her grandmother when she moved her to los angeles -> now she goes by xu lili

her parents were a love that burned hot but burned out fast kind of relationship

also didn't help that her dad and mom were from starkly different social brackets that when her grandmother strongly opposed the marriage, her mother got disowned and left to be with her husband

but when the marriage ultimately fell apart, in a last ditch effort, they had lili

for a while it worked until the pains of motherhood, marriage and poverty got too much and when she turned 5, her parents divorced: her mother got her and her father got his freedom back — apparently that meant never seeing lili again, too

a year after her divorce, her mother met a new man (richer, older) and started a new family alongside that man’s children from a prev. marriage. by the time she was 7, lili was brought back to her grandmother’s and like her father, that would be the last she’d see of her mother

being adopted by her grandmother was a start to a new life, adapting to a new environment and learning that love wasn’t just given: it was earned

her grandmother was the owner of a real estate investment / development group; a woman of high expectations and most of all, showed love like how she did business: she expected results in return for her nurture

in the case of lili: her grandmother enrolled her into all the best programs, nurtured her love for performing, and expected the excellence that proceeded from the investment

but excellence can only go so far with natural talent, lili had the talent but in comparison to her peers, she didn’t have the it needed to take her far, something she learns when she receives no offers to continue her ballet career

( 2017 ) instead, she looks elsewhere to continue her love, to find adoration elsewhere is null when her grandmother is pressuring her for results: she auditions for a company in la and passes; suddenly she’s on a flight to korea and training to debut in a girl group of some unknown company

just when she was about to debut, her grandmother ends up sick and she went home when she was supposed to be practicing/preparing for debut

( 2020 ) she ends up getting dropped from the debut lineup upon return (and still has the audacity to be sad about it) ~

she joins lgc in jul. 2020 after getting dropped from debut and consequently the label

TIDBITS

much prefers to be called lili

was quiet and withdrawn as a kid because of her parental troubles, only was able to really fully express herself through performing

because of that she was able to come out of her shell, however, it was falsified by the desperate need of validation and her inherent ego that waged a war with her insecurities 

has imposter syndrome, so she on the low sabotages herself

such as when she was supposed to debut, she knew what was at stake but still left -> her grandmother didn’t even appreciate her visiting when she was sick, instead she was told to go back to korea and finish what she started

headstrong and stubborn, her grandmother had brought her up to say what was on her mind and not care about others -> it only made her selfish and self-serving

a bit of a tsundere, if you squint but i swear it’s there, she’s not used to people being overly affectionate to her and is very rarely affectionate; will be the one to give an awkward shoulder pat when comforting

honestly because of her parents she doesn't believe in love, thinks it's superficial, thinks lust is also dumb but what can a girl do when she has needs 💅 might also think she's hard to love / doesn't deserve it because of her trauma from her parents and her grandmother

is 100% right, always, even when she is 100% wrong — will argue why she’s right

she likes being as she says ~ playful ~ and riling people up and causing friction, call it what you will but i think it’s the attention-seeker in her thinking that even if she can’t get people to like her, if they’re irritated, that means they have to be thinking about her still? right ???

ambitious to a fault, she will do what she needs to do to get where she wants to, even if that means burning some bridges

her grandmother had taught her to learn to control her emotions, but what can we say, she’s an open book and if she’s not on a default rbf — she’s giving face

v relationship phobe - more or less will keep one at arms’ length; the type to make you think you’re close but you don’t really know much about her 

will get out of everything and anything but saying she doesn’t speak korean / can’t understand what you’re saying

does not like pity, will not stand to be pitied

smokes like a chimney, we know its bad !!! but girl is stressed !!! and when she’s stressed !! she smokes !!

vain, superficial and far too outgoing and confrontational for her own good (can’t be me lmfao) and will 100% tell you what’s on her mind without prompt

she is an enabler, she will enable you 100% to make bad choices

she only cares about her grandmother really because it’s her validation she seeks the most but lbr she seeks validation everywhere in everyone and that’s kind of her ruin because she also has foot in her mouth syndrome and a temper 😵‍💫

PLOT HOLES

⤷  honestly give me everything ! we want drama, friction ! friends who try to dip deep, friends who make her angry ! friends who are obviously surface friends but want to be more ! friends who care but are annoyed with lili's aloof attitude ! friends who are no longer friends ! rivals !!!!! i'll take everything and anything anyone comes up with

NOTE

⤷   also i should have her profile with a proper bio finished soon ~ sorry about that xx

BLANK SPACES. lili hates to bother (she doesn't, in reality, she is the bother) but desperate times call for desperate measures — @lgcrua

her head is blank. a struggle lili has never once encountered before. then again, not once had she ever thought she would be attempting to choreograph something for herself again. it’s been years since ballet school and the recitals and the long nights of endless, frustrated grueling over steps and motions that lili had thought she had put behind her.

and yet —

she stands, with her hands on her hips as she lets the song play again through her airpods; repeating the motion as languidly as possible so that she doesn’t tire herself out like all those years ago when she would just run full-throttle into every move. 

it still didn’t look right — didn’t feel right either — as she does the move thrice over. because of this — she could feel the vein in her forehead ready to pop, frustration bubbling to the surface. lili hated being wrong, but she also hated wasting her time. 

from the side she spots — rua, was it? — plucking a pod from her ear, she waves with as much finesse as she can muster despite herself, “hey — rua, right?” 

“can i get your opinion on something? i keep doing this move but i feel like it doesn’t look right.” 

u know that scene in jennifer's body where megan fox puts foundation all over her face in a desperate attempt to look like even a semblance of her old self whose picture she has hanging next to her mirror so she's reminded of the appearance she's lost and she gets a little unhinged during the process and just starts smearing it everywhere? womanhood

“you have a point there,” she murmurs quietly, fingers tapping mindlessly at the desk they were seated at.

“don’t forget there’s also to, too and two. oh! and complement and compliment. it’s honestly insane.” her english as a second language class had been hell growing up; if she had been asami’s shoes, she would have thrown her hands up and called it a day but alas, here they both were, suffering through english. fortunate for lili, she liked learning languages; unfortunately for lili, it was fueled by her need to succeed and to prove others wrong for doubting her and her lovely intellect. 

“english is full of things that sound the same but are spelled different, it’s dumb but … it’s english.” she says as if that would help asami's predicament at all. it didn't but lili truly didn't know what else to say, "you know what you need is a break! should we go for lattes?"

Asami smiles satisfied with herself for pulling that reaction out of Lili. She shrugs, "As far as you know, I might only be able to count up to ten and know how to ask for directions to the bathroom. When I got to Korea, that was all I knew for like a month. Oh, and also colors!" Asami points her finger up like she made a discovery at the addition of that last piece of information.

She could feel her head starting to hum with the foreshadow of a headache. Learning new things that didn't require her moving often left that little impression in her. "It makes no sense. The best way to keep us from saying idiotic things is by not being able to say them at all," she says with a little pout and a sigh, but then she deflates, "I understand how this is important, since it's a easier language for most people to follow abroad, but doesn't change the fact that is so confusing," Asami points at the screen where she is seeing interesting language facts where the words 'they’re, their and there' are all side by side, "These all sound exactly the same."