I Wasn't Meant To Live This Long And That's Why I Don't Know What To Do When I Feel This Awful

I just wanna stick a knife in my arm

Me in the mirror on a daily basis

Ahh no dont kill yourself ahhh you're too sexy

Cvts myself

Decided im done and bored

Why's this hurt im annoyed now

every year i reach new lows and wish i killed myself earlier

Sorry for going through every emotion known to man within an hour

It will probably happen again

i thought i was at my lowest but holy shit it gets lower

Me this Wee..

I cant get up without getting spliting headache and vertigo :///

HAVE STUFF TO DO.I want to like be physical and active and keep myself healthy but I took a 30 minute walk 2 days ago right I try to take daily walks and 1 had to lay in bed all day after becuse I was so freaking exhausted. A 30 minute walk. I literally just wondered aroundddd guyyss

You ask why I didn't reply to your text

I wanted too

But the weight of a conversation felt impossible to carry

You ask why I dont text back

I tried too

But I was scared id say the wrong thing

You ask why I never tell you things

I want to

But im scared you'll hate me for everything I do

You ask why I dont talk

I tried too

The words couldnt seem to come out

You ask why I dont wanna be your friend

I want to

But I couldnt handle you leaving

So I left first