Anna: Please peer pressure me into getting this report done
Matthew: Do it or you’re straight
Anna: I said peer pressure, not threaten.
Matthew: My life is like a romantic comedy
Matthew: Except there’s no romance. It’s just me laughing at my own jokes
i love how jessamine, despite being a prisoner of the silent city and terrified, still had it in her to sass tessa's fashion sense and the fact that she was making out with jem in the carriage. she's still kind of the best for that even if she's generally terrible.
Thomas: What are you doning when you meet someone new?
Alastair: I die
Thomas: ... you can just say hello
Alastair: No, I'm just gonna die
Will: Is masturbating while smoking weed called masturblazing or highjacking?
Gabriel: No, it’s called weedwhacking.
Jem: No, it’s called disappointing your mother.
If you ever feel happy, just remember that your favorite character probably hates you and will call you a whiny little bitch for crying over them ;)
Alexander: I’m moving in to the attic.
Thomas: The attic?!
Alexander: Hey, at least it’s big. Dad said you used to live in a closet.
Mark, bleeding from a cut: Help! I’m covered in flesh juice!
Julian: You’re covered in what?
Mark: Flesh juice!
Julian: I’ll just let you die
Valentine: Ok, so, um, you’re like a son to me
Jace: Well, you raised me
Valentine: Exactly, so join me and we’ll kill all the filthy downworlders-
Jace: No
*Looks over to Clary*
Valentine: You’re like a son to me-
Clary: I’m out
The TSC fandom, every Monday, just like clockwork:
wait what simon has 2 siblings-
Why pick one favorite character when you can simply adopt every single one of them (except for the Dearborns, they go straight into the trashcan)?
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