Kitkat-the-unstable-snack - Kitkat

DO REVENGE (2022) dir. Jennifer Kaytin Robinson

*lemony snicket voice* police cars say ‘protect and serve’ for the same reason a box of dry, unflavoured rice cakes might say ‘delicious treat’. rice cakes are not a delicious treat, nor are the police there to protect and serve, but if you are unfamiliar with either you’re likely to believe what you’re told.

i am begging you all to stop treating this site like instagram if you dont want it to be content free by next year

Sorry for admitting that I listen to musicals do you still think I'm hot

I'm too gay for my history class our teacher is having us introduce ourselves, what we did this summer, and our favorite song and I introduced myself with I did my summer and my favorite song is swans upon leda and HE PLAYED IT CAUSE HE DIDNT KNOW WHAT IT WAS

I love u angry female characters. I love u deeply misunderstood and problematic female characters. I love u cold hearted and sharp female characters. I love you prideful and reckless female characters. I love u unbeautifly destructive female characters. I love u prickly and snarky female characters. not everyone understands u but I do and I'm listening

The things I would do

I need them in a way that is concerning to feminism.

Reading ASOUE as a child, I didn't end up with a Violet Baudelaire complex (tying my hair up every time I have to think), or a Klaus Baudelaire complex (reading a shit ton of books about everything), but a rarer third thing I like to call a Lemony Snicket complex (I am very very sad, I write, I love desperately, and I still hope for the best)

Obey me characters google searches. Some have multiple because they're dumb

Uh..potty language and NSFW themes bc Asmodeus is a whore

Lucifer: Why is my human...trying to escape?

Lucifer: How to...convince a human to be normal?

Mammon: What does it mean if my human...Sleeps next to me?

Mammon: How to...sell a human?

Leviathan: Is my human...allowed to watch anime?

Leviathan: How to make friends

Leviathan: Can humans swim?

Satan: What if my human...Explodes?

Satan again: Humans exploding

Satan a third time: Humans exploding and surviving.

Satan a fourth time: How to prevent your human from exploding

Asmodeus: will 2 humans get along?

Asmodeus: How to get 2 humans to fuck

Beelzebub: human

Beelzebub: human diet

Beelzebub: human cheeseburger

Beelzebub: cheeseburgers not made out of humans

Beelzebub: do humans eat each other?

Beelzebub: Cheeseburgers near me

Belphegor: what the fuck is a human

Belphegor, again: why do humans bleed so much?

Belphegor, two minutes later: How to delete my search history

Diavolo: Is chocolate safe for humans?

Diavolo: Do humans fight

Diavolo: does my human like me

Diavolo: do humans like pickles

Diavolo: why do humans like pickles

Diavolo: how to convince humans not to eat pickles

Diavolo: why did I get a human

Barbatos: Why do I get out of bed in the morning?

Barbatos: Hangover cures

Barbatos: How to get a human to leave you alone

Barbatos: how to get a human to come back

(Barbatos only liked MC because he liked watching them, now he loves them.)

Solomon: How did they forget I am human

Luke: Do humans like candy?

Simeon: Google

Simeon, already on Google: Google

Simeon: auagiwjqgauabdj

Luke, typing for Simeon: do humans like being hugged

Thirteen: Fastest way to kill a human (but relax it's for a school project)

Thirteen: How to kill Solomon

Thirteen: How to torture a human

Mephistopeles: Quickest way to get a human to stop existing?

Mephistopeles: Quickest way to get a fallen angel to stop existing

Mephistopeles: Cute babies sleeping

Raphael: Why is the human human?

Michael: Why do people like humans?

Luke, again: is it okay to see a human as family?