I Always Come Back To You

I’m not scared of loving you; I’m just scared of losing you.

I spend another night in my lonesome solitude

My very being withering away at the thought of

Losing you.

Please, put an end to this I cry with cold knees

Imprinting the rug that my tears drench as my

Heart is tugged by an invisible string.

Oh, how badly I want to curse you for everything you’ve done to me. But I can’t… You were supposed to be someone who protected me and covered my ears and eyes from the evil in the world. Instead, you were my nightmares. I still cry myself to sleep. All my memories of you are clouded, dark, grey, and hazy, yet it feels like it happened yesterday. I hate you, but I so badly want to love you. It kills me to know that I'll never have that with you. I honestly believe you hated me ever since I was a child. I feel pathetic. I've just spent the whole night crying. I never know when to let go. A couple of months ago, I broke down crying in front of you while you sat there emotionless, and it looked honestly like you were forcing yourself to cry. Crocodile tears. You never fail to make it about you. I told you I almost ended myself, and you acted like I was telling a joke. You never deserved me. You never loved me.

I pierce my tongue through the night

Muffling my tears with my palm firm on my lips

Desperate to be kissed

My racing heart beating out of my chest

It’s starting all over again

I try to be quiet

Excuse myself to the bathroom

Not yet alone the walls echo

I’m tired

Staring blankly at the tiled walls

I slumber to the floor in defeat

I’m inpatient

But I believe one day you’ll come to me

And I’ll come to you

But for now I’ll pray for you

My Muse

Cries in degradation you were my separation I don’t know were to go from here.

A new year begins yet nothing has ended.

A new year begins and I’m still in love with you.

It’s beginning to feel like deja vu.

I’m still here were you left me waiting for you to come get me.

Untouched ready for you to devour me.

Undoubtedly I’ll surrender to your touch.

Words just aren’t enough I need to melt in your embrace and never leave your place.

The secretary movie is an awakening.

I can't stop crying. I cry, cry, cry and cry untill my eyes are sore but you're never a bore. So I'll cry till dawn and pray to god on my knees to answer my call. For you, my love. Please, be mine.

My hairs stand tall from the thought of you

You fill the empty space once filled with tears

This burdened soul can not house another

My heart is heavy and stained with pain

You look at me with bleeding eyes, mine colder than ice

Emotionless but you make me feel alive

But I'm still distant in confined solitude

I want to see your point of view

Maybe then I could love me too

You're crescent moon eyes and crooked front teeth are my favourite

Never hide that beautiful smile

It brings light to my day

My Muse

If you hold me without hurting me, you'll be the first whoever did.

I love you already more then my heart can bare. It’s heavy but I’ll carry the weight until it reaches you. You take mine and I’ll take yours. Then I’ll feel safe and warm. By your side. Be mine. My love. I love you like crazy. Always.