Just1ook1ng

Any one can give their body to another... That's not intimacy or the type I crave.

I want to lay with you, your body on me, feeling your weight, the rise and fall of your breathe, every movement you make... All recorded in my mind to play back later.

To run my hands through your hair, to trail my fingers across your body, memorizing every surface, every deviation... Every crease, wrinkle, mole and curve.

To know you take solace in me, while in sleep giving control, to wake in my arms, feeling my touch, and the aura of love I have running through me.

To be able to wake, relish your body in the early morning light.....to enjoy my moon

Moon....

My moon

My moon shines for me.

I look from below, darkness clawing at my body.

I feel the icy fingers of self doubt.

I feel the heat of the blade of my own hatred taking ever opportunity to bury itself into my brain.

Before you I was on a path so empty.

Without you I'm lost, a broken compass, taking on water in the storms I chose to sail.

You believe in me.

I take your hand.

I'll wound you. I'll hurt you. I'll make you have moments of doubt, and unneeded pain.

I can pretend it's obsessive behavior, my need for validation, my weak value in myself.

Ultimately I can't follow that wire the one that ends at my mouth, the puppet of my mind, I look deep to find the source to see where the wire originates... If I had my way, I'd rip that fucker so hard out of my body and pray I was the man I wish I was with you.

I can't.

All I can promise is every mile down our path, every word spoken between us, every moment you give me your time, that I'll spend it showing you my love, my respect, I'll cut you when you need it, I'll care for you after, I'll strive to put you first and try to get you to feel it every day I am allowed.

All I can promise is I'll try to wear out that connection, to pull and wiggle, to break the internal connection, to render that wire useless, or all least render it unable to control it, with the force it has.

I value the moonlight that shines on me.

I am grateful for my moon, it shines on me whether I'm quiet, unhappy, hurting, happy...... It doesn't just come out when life is good and it certainly doesn't stay hidden when it's rough.

In my defense......

That just about says it all..... It's why I try to say it often

I always feel at peace, when I can bask in the light of the moon.

I need to bask in the energy of my moonlight for as long as I can tonight.