Just-a-v01d - Wuh

here’s the facts

donald J trump is extremely fully 11 months pregnant

he is pregnant with a litter of half pig half men, somewhat resembling orcs. they were genetically engineered to his specifications and are rumored to be “super soldiers”

the former president became pregnant via embryo transplant - he does not have ovaries or penetrative sex, so insemination is not an option

they are not in his butt or penis - the pentagon hollowed and ballooned out his prostate gland to act as a psuedowomb

donald j trump is in constant pain because of this so he’s constantly smoking weed which just makes him sadder and more pregnant and it’s not so good for the piglets

trump said he got this idea “from sauron” of lord of the rings

when trump gives birth, his perineum will cleanly cleave in two, and a bucketful of viscous green nickelodean slime will dump forth onto the ground. he will steady himself against a ballet bar and dump out the pigfetuses one by one onto the floor with no umbilical cord

when pressed for comment, donald trump specified:

“I love my kids. They are the best. They’ve got strong blood. They’ve got good genes. But I could have better kids. I could have pigmen. Tall. Taller than me, if you can believe it. These piglets are the greatest — people are saying they’re the greatest!”

THIS IS SUCH A NEAT LITTLE COMIC WHAT

future archaeologists will know you were (not) a boy

love shakespeare. did a hamlet run tonight, looked someone dead in the eye to say “am i a coward?” during a speech and the fucker shrugged and nodded

if she's your girl then how come she's hallucinating my 10,000-y.o. dripping wet corpse

I have just learned that Mountain Goats are NOT, in fact, actual Goats.

held on til may. now what

it could easily bite me in half but that’s an ancient sea puppy and i’m gonna pet it

Illustration of Plesiosaurs by Zdenek Burian, 1963 - “Prehistoric Sea Monsters”

In the animal kingdom, humans are viewed like witches/warlocks: they MIGHT help you benevolently in your time of need, or they might eat you alive, or they might save you but keep you forever. So you know just how serious things are when they say to you, "Go get a human."

god I would be UNSTOPPABLE if I was capable of consistently initiating tasks. just you wait. you'll be waiting a while but just you wait

Hi ,

My name is Shada, I’m 24 years old, a new nurse graduate from Gaza 🇵🇸, and I’m reaching out in the hope that you might take a moment to hear my story.

I gave birth to my baby boy, Adam , in the middle of this war. He is now 5 months old. We’ve lost everything—our home was destroyed, and my husband’s work as a water truck driver is gone. We have evacuated multiple times, and today we live in a crowded tent camp 🏕️, not knowing where we’ll go next.

On top of everything, Adam was born with clubfoot and needs urgent surgery 🏥 that cannot be done in Gaza—not now, not even before the war. He also needs special medical boots afterward.

We’re trying to raise funds to evacuate to safety and give our son a real chance at life.

If you’re able to donate 💌 or even just share our campaign 🔁, please know it would mean the world to me. I want to live, work, and raise my family in peace. I don’t want to lose my son or my husband.

Thank you so much for reading 🌿

@suppirtadamfil

With hope and gratitude,

Shada 🤍

i’m really late to this so i’m doing all of these now