Wearing My Big Boy Pants And My Funderwear To My Date Wish Me Luck

same spectrum, different wavelength

do you think grown up birds vomit into each others mouths as like a sex thing?

being horny on main leads to horny jail

being romantic on main deserves real life prison

she WEEEE and my WAAAA until i YAHOO

bouta get intubated for Tube Tuesday

“it’s not about you and me. it’s about us” i say to the tailgating F150 behind me as i stomp on the brakes.

“your honor you’re scaring the hoes”

somehow, while waking today, my phone came unlocked and got most of the way through buying a pair of pants before i noticed.

chillin in the beater with greebus, hittin warp 19 in plastic chairs

there’s no such thing as free willy