“your Honor You’re Scaring The Hoes”

one must imagine sisyphus having good work-life balance

i microwaved my spaghetti so much that the textures broke

nothign wrong with me that an orgasm a glass of orange juice another orgasm tweleve hours of sleep another orgasm a fuckload of pasta another orgasm a hot bath anothe roorgasm a bullet to the head another orgasm taking up smoking anpther orgasm a large alcolgic beveerage and aother orgams wont fix

brb gonna drink glow stick sauce and break my arm to see if it glows

how it feels to have a relaxing midweek walk through a field outside ur job in the foothills

Top three scariest halllween costumes:

3. Landlord

2. Sexy Landlord

1. Unsexy Landlord

nothing quite like comin home to munch some box after a long day at work

ankle deep in my own milk

undortunately, spock might actually be a little cringe :(

I met Spock and he thought I was cringe. :’(((

bpd is my psychic ability