Latest Posts by ju22willy - Page 9

time for me, a tgirl, to go on a quest to be jesus ii (i have no means of doing of these things, i live in the us)

know what, fuck this whole second coming of christ bs, next tgirl to see the reichstone, stone of scone, and to eat double cheeseburger gets my permission to be called Jesus II: Electric boogaloo

executive dysfunction tips! It gets easier to do a task if you dress appropriately first!! It’s much easier to get started once you’re wearing the right clothes for the headspace. For example if you need to clean your room, try putting on a maid dress! If you need to make dinner, try putting on a maid dress! If you need to accept visitors, try putting on a maid dress! If you need to poison the tea that will be served to your mistress’ esteemed guests in an effort to ensure her suitors never take your mistress’ hand from you, try putting on a-

For Years my brother has been fucking with me by periodically texting me to say Jimmy Carter had finally died. Today the bit has paid off.

The response to my reaction at work was “what do you MEAN ‘for real this time’?????”

I fucking hate it here I’m crying

I have a Samsung that's a couple years old that Wikipedia calls a phablet due to its heft and scale (compared to new phones its average).

And let me tell you. What used to be this neat, if a little cumbersome device has become larger in my hands.

Or rather, my hands have got smaller. Thinner fingers, palms, fingernails and smoother skin.

This dang thing now slides out of my grip almost daily, and it's gotten to the point that I can't reliably use 1 hand all the time.

Estrogen is so surreal sometimes. Who's phone is this? These hands are mine but the phone is clearly meant for someone else.

2025 is a good number, it’s a quarter of the way through the 20 hundreds and it’s got that nice set of 2s separated by only a 0. not bad. whatever happens this year at least it’ll be happening during a good number 😌

maybe it would be cool to like- post something on tumblr, instead of stealing other people's humor via reblogging

well then, hello tumblr

lord the peasants are so loud today

when I was 14 I worked in a grocery store and one day I got to bag Stephen King’s groceries and of course, being the little horror fiction nerd I am I was completely starstruck

I think he thought I was gonna ask for an autograph because I was not even lowkey staring I was full on moon-faced and bouncing and he kept looking over at me hesitantly like aw jeez kid fuck off

anyways I finally managed to squeak out that I was a huge fan and asked for advice on writing, “how do I write as well as you do?” in my horrible thick German accent and broken ass English and he gave me the best writing advice I have ever received

“shit kid, stop worrying about how other people do it and just write your story”

14 years later my wife and I nearly hit him with our car because he was jaywalking

wear a different perfume when you commit murder fuckin amateurs 

The fact that the assumed UHC shooter's last name is Mangione, Italian for "eats a lot", is personally hilarious. For years we've been saying we should eat the rich and then some dude named Big Eats went and fuckin did it.

“ummmmm ur bra strap is showing :/ ”

give it up for girls with vaginas and boys with penises

reblog if u like titties

"friends don't look at each other like that" well okay you coward you do whatever you want however i WILL look at my friends like they're the most important thing in the world. i love them with my whole heart and i will hold their hand and stare at the stars not because i wanna fuck them but because they mean the world to me and i care about them. fuck you

SAY NICE THINGS TO PPL

We gotta do something about men

@arlepurin

Canon Queer of the Day:

Mizuki Akiyama

Mizuki Akiyama is a character from Project Sekai and Hatsune Miku: Colorful Stage! She is canonically transfem and uses she/they pronouns.

Submitted by Anonymous

what a time to be alive

I'm girl

just like a cokey cola.....

Yosuke Amemiya

They call me the girl kisser because of the way I uhm. Uh. Well.

googledocs you are getting awfully uppity for something that can’t differentiate between “its” and “it’s” correctly

You ever been in a state where you physically have no energy, but you're bored and socially understimulated so you kind of wish you could just invite people to come over like this:

“starry night” this, “café terrace at night” that, when are we going to talk about “two rats” by vincent van gogh?