Maybe It Would Be Cool To Like- Post Something On Tumblr, Instead Of Stealing Other People's Humor Via

I get laid tomorrowwwwww

not a dream

English is not my first language

accidents sometimes happen

today I confused the Once-ler with the word incel

that is all

yeah this works

❌ I hate this stupid body

Generic, makes you sound lame, no fun at parties, generally a downer

✅ I despise this vessel I am entombed within.

Foreboding, mysterious, makes you sound like an eldritch horror trapped biding your time

who else did this

I mean Jesus fucking Christ this is not right

oh my god i was looking through the notes looking for someone else i still have the smiley too and im so confused

WHERE IS SHE?

WHERE DID THEY TOOK HER?

shrek is love, shrek is life

Exuse me? This figurine you sold me that you said was in mint condition? Yeah I ate it and it tasted nothing like mint. I want a refund on my $300 and I need you to pay for my hospital bill.