I Need To Read 5 More Books Till The End Of The Year But I Honestly Can't Decide What To Pick Next. I

i've just rewatched dead poets society and for a favourite movie it sure does a lot of damage on my mental state

simran, full of emptiness

“Letters from Medea”- Salma Deera

when you wake up, your whole world’s flipped. it’s just different, and you know you gotta go with it, and that’s just simply growing up, and not see it in a negative way. you have to see it as it’s been given to you. i mean, as much as times can be crazy, you’re going to feel like that’s where you’re supposed to be, you’re not going to feel out of place anymore, you’re going to feel like that’s where you were meant to be. you don’t have to pretend that it’s easy all the time, you just let it go and grow with it and you can’t hold on to the old ‘you’ or the old ‘this’ or the old ‘that’ because, you know, you change. and its not changing in a bad way, its just changing because thats what happens in life. you grow up, everyone moves on, you’re just learning. you stay true to yourself. changing isn’t a bad thing; it never was, but at the end of the day, you know, you’re the same person, and where your heart is, that doesn’t change.

shawn mendes (from his new song “understand”)

Sebastian Pether, master of moonlight. Paintings from (1790-1844) Vkontakte

and maybe i am a little bit in love with all of my friends. how could i not be when they place their whole heart in my hands and trust me to carry it safely home? lazy days spent in comfortable silence, tearful nights spent giving each other a reason to live. the exhilaration of learning your little quirks melting into a future where i know you better than the lines on my open palms. mutual understanding to be forever gentle with one another. inside jokes that follow me long after you've gone, reminding me to slow down and laugh a little more. your eyes are the lens through which i can see the world with love. your embrace is the shelter under which i find strength to continue on.

Having hobbies, connecting w others, laughing and smiling and dancing and having a good time, reaching out in place of turning inward, being in love w a person and my friends and the world, nourishing my soul and heart and mind, eating good food, being part of this world—all these things really are so much better than digging my own grave and trying to make a home out of it

something in me simply can't let me use this blog as freely as i used to do with twitter. maybe it's the fact that there was at least one person who seemed to be interested in what i had to say but i'm going to try and just have this blog to myself. and i feel like this would have some merits, to express your thoughts without anyone you know seeing it. i could even talk here about me still questioning my sexuality and i'm still so afraid to say to any of my friends even a word of it

one little problem is that i still have one exam left that i seriously need to study for but i'm already dreaming of that free time i'm going to have after it. i want to read so many books, i hope to do it soon

i guess i kinda want to get back to tumblr and actually use this blog,, all of the other media just don't seem as comfortable nowadays

“If all else perished, and he remained, I should still continue to be; and if all else remained, and he were annihilated, the universe would turn to a mighty stranger.”

-Emily Brontë , Wuthering Heights