I've Just Rewatched Dead Poets Society And For A Favourite Movie It Sure Does A Lot Of Damage On My Mental

i dont have any advice for you im just here to say im in a very similar boat [it always makes me feel better to know im not 100% alone after all]

but i also struggle with figuring out if im aromantic or if i just have high standards, and then i dont even know if those standards are actually high or if its simply that people rarely pursue me [and even then is it because they arent interested or is it because i dont put myself out there?] like the idea of dating someone feels incorrect, but is it because i think i wouldnt get anything out of it or is it because i cant see someone ever seeing me that way? do i set myself up for failure and only get interested in people who i Cannot Have because im just generally self sabotaging or because i dont want to be with anybody? i dont think theres any real way to know other than to date people, but thats a task that seems impossible to me.

anyways, have a good day! i hope you enjoy what you read and find lots of time to do it.

oh how the world works, out of all the people you meet in life to find the first one to voice something so perfectly similar to my experience on tumblr! but that actually means so much, i was writing those words into the void without expecting anyone to see and seeing your message was extremely hopeful, thank you so much for putting it all into words!!

i feel like i could be okay with being aromantic and except it for what it is but how hard it is to to understand those feelings and know for sure. no one ever seems to feel this way, everyone around have their crushes on people at all times but i just never understood it, you know? only those unattainable figures, but even so i feel like with time i would lose interest and no single person would ever be able to hold my attention for long. or maybe i just never knew anyone on that personal level where you love someone unconditionally. i feel like love exists only as a concept but never in reality, it all feels so hollow.

and oh, i actually wanted to have a little experiment and maybe just try going on a date? just to see what all the fuss is about. but every chance i got close to doing it, i immediately retreated and i never seem to find the courage to do it. i don't want to lead other people on when i know that it would only be an opportunity to check that experience out of "want to try" list.

you say that the idea of dating feels incorrect to you and i also can't even imagine a situation where i would be comfortable with someone in relationship. it takes a lot of work and trust and maybe i am too selfish for that.

maybe there's no way of knowing but to live and see where it takes you. i hope you find your answers with time! and that whatever it is it would bring you comfort. maybe you would meet someone and would be able to heal. and if you are actually aromantic, it is probably just as good. society was built around this romantic love concept but it's not all there is, the world is huge and a lot of things can bring you happiness! thank you again!!

You know what is fucking raw and beautiful ?? When Hozier sang “and the sights were as stark as my baby and the cold cut as sharp as my baby and the nights were as dark as my baby and half as beautiful too.” He didn’t compare his lover to other things he compared other things to his lover because to him his lover is much more, is the point of reference. Starker, sharper, darker and much more beautiful and I cry when I think about that

i never ever said it to anyone but no one here knows me so i feel like i can talk about my sexuality questioning and after thinking about it for a few years and changing my opinion a thousand times i feel like i'm homosexual and panromantic and maaaybe also like demiromantic or greyromantic ? something along the lines.

ok so i'm choosing what to read next and the choice lays between 3 books: one of them is a play and the other two are like 1000+ pages long and one is, as people say, is extremely traumatising and i really can't decide

You ever read a fanfiction so, so fucking good that when you're done reading it, you're kinda disoriented? Like the place you were reading it in seems unfamiliar because the story sucked you into the fucking fifth dimension with how good it was? Unparalleled feeling.

Fanfic writers are an absolute gift to humanity.

Sketch by Channing H.M

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my first favorite hobby is yapping. second is being extremely quiet and not talking ever at all ever.

'going insane before an exam' core