Excerpts From Zak-Site

when you get what you want but not what you need

Do you think about Jayce living in that cave for who knows how long, surviving on lizard meat that barely gives him enough energy to move around. Him losing muscles mass in drove, still retaining some of his built but so so tired and so much weaker.

Going back to his timeline with barely any time to do much, does he even get to eat a full meal? Even if he did, can he even keep it down long enough to digest it or is it too much food for his stomach to handle. Does food even taste like anything to him? Did he constantly feel hunger rattling the back of his mind that he can’t sedated? Did he ignore it in favour of saving a bit of time? He’s a man at death’s door anyway, a little hunger can’t compare to the death of humanity itself. So he endure and endure…

the thing about jayce is that the same thing that makes him so annoying in season 1 also makes him so endearing in season 2. and it all comes down to his sense of loyalty. he spends a lot of time in the first season struggling with being a people pleaser and a great example of this is the aftermath of his progress day speech. heimerdinger insists that the hextech inventions need more work so he holds off on revealing them to the public, disappointing both viktor and mel. he's constantly being pulled thin by conflicting loyalties. he wants to appease the council so he rubs elbows with them and allows their illegal imports despite just raising security in the hexgates. he wants to keep the people of piltover safe so he puts up the barricade at the bridge even when that worsens the city's relationship with zaun. and when vi storms in and tells him that the best way to hurt silco is to destroy his shimmer factory he goes in swinging

but in season 2 after he quits the council jayce isn't obligated to please them and the people of piltover anymore and has some freedom to choose what he really wants. and it turns out that at his very core his loyalty is to viktor. jayce says it himself, he believes now that his place is in the lab with him, not on the council. that same devotion that led to him going astray in the first season is also what leads him to revive viktor with the hexcore. jayce just can't stand inaction. if he thinks he's found a solution he'll reach for it every time and when it comes to his place on the council that means acting against silco and intentionally or not escalating the zaun-piltover conflict. but when it comes to viktor that means doing whatever he can to save him even to the bitter end. and that makes him a much more sympathetic character because while those choices aren't necessarily morally better than the ones he made in season 1 they're also primarily motivated by his love for viktor

Whats up with the Viktor and milk thing? I'm trying to find the origin but can't

UASHUASDH you mean his love for sweetmilk instead of like any meme me or any other person has made right?

If thats the case its in his color story, when a child breaks into his house and is kinda scared shitless of him he offers them some sweetmilk to calm them down and have a nice chat

[Here's a link to the story]

So apparently, Fortiche shared concept art where Jayce's Hexcorization in the cave would extend all the way to his face:

And this is really interesting to me from a narrative perspective, here's why:

Much of S2 Jayce's arc is incredibly... punitive. Like, he is really being punished step by step for everything he did wrong in S1. From Renni terrorizing and almost killing him for the death of her son, to Viktor leaving him "for another woman" (the Hexcore as represented by Sky) much like Jayce left him for politics as represented by Mel, there's really a sense of the narrative not only tearing Jayce down to his bare essentials (something that's very common for TV writing to do, by the way, it's very common that you want to see characters reduced down to who they are for their "long night of the soul" moment before they learn the lessons of what they really stand for before going into the climax armed with those lessons), but Jayce's time in the cave really goes even further than that and not only does S2 take away his political career, his Hextech ambitions, his state as someone able-bodied, much of his strength, and certain other gifts, it looks like in this draft they considered taking away his beauty too.

I think it would have been interesting either way if they had, but I want to dive into the narrative structure of action and punishment in Arcane, why Hexcorizing Jayce's face might have been a step too far and not really addressed a lesson he needed to learn, and my thoughts on punitive character arcs in general in Arcane (or lack thereof), specifically with regards to Jayce and Caitlyn.

I've mentioned elsewhere that I always found it interesting that much of the hate directed towards Jayce by the fans was for his perceived incompetence in difficult moments, rather than at how naturally gifted he seems to be at everything.

When I first watched S1 on my own, I thought Jayce was a bit unbearable because everything comes so easily to him (after Viktor becomes his partner and Hextech takes off as a result, that is). He is naturally beautiful, he's built like a god but doesn't appear to do any sort of exercise routine to maintain this other than working in the forge, he becomes the Man of Progress and rockstar of Piltover pretty much without trying, girls are literally sighing dreamily as he goes by.

He's also naturally a genius, from what we see, revolutionizing multiple industries with one invention. Even his rescue as a child is a literal miracle and it spurs him to create an invention that makes him a rockstar. When he enters politics, he immediately dominates, to the point where he's able to get a unanimous vote to overthrow the founder of the city within weeks of going there. Even in battle he's naturally gifted and naturally lucky during the raid of the Shimmer factory (up until the death of Renni's son), even though he has no prior skills as far as we know. He also wins the love of arguably the most beautiful woman in the series, again, seemingly without trying.

Then, S2 doesn't just take all of this away from him, it seems to go a step further into actually punishing Jayce for how easy and miraculous his life was in S1.

I'm of two minds about the Hexcorization reaching his face, but I have a hypothesis. I think it would have looked fucking rad but, I kinda get why they didn't do it:

Because Jayce's good looks are not something he can control, unlike the other things the narrative punishes him for.

Insofar as he can control his looks, he gives up on the clean-cut, immaculate "Golden Boy" image. Even in the idealized astral plane, he keeps most of the marks of his time in the pit like his hair and beard. I think it's because Jayce likes who he became down there. The clean-cut version of him was always the mask of him trying to please others, Jayce's appearance after he emerges from the cave is him shedding the opinions of others (contrast this with how Viktor idealizes himself in the astral plane, removing all marks of his illness. This isn't a criticism, just an interesting point of contrast).

So basically, my theory is Fortiche may have pulled back on Hexcorizing Jayce's face on the one hand to soften the visuals a bit, but secondly because it keeps the focus on punishing Jayce for things he chose to do, rather than things he doesn't really have control over.

But make no mistake, the narrative comes down hard on Jayce in S2, for every little thing the fans could and often did hate him for in S1. He pays for all of them, arguably in excess of what he maybe deserved, since as he says he didn't ask for any of this. But he did go along with it, and there's where the hammer of consequence (quite literally) comes down on him, tears away all his privileges, drags him down to literally the level of Viktor when he first left the undercity and says, "You have to do it all again but now focused on what really matters, and it's going to be ten times harder than it ever was."

This, in my opinion, is why Jayce is so popular coming out of S2. It is a hell of an arc, it's a hell of a redemption! You gave the man everything any man could want, then you took it all away, and then as his crowning moment of showing he has truly learned these lessons and made up for his mistakes, he makes possibly the most loving gesture possible, puts his weapons down, and reaches out to the person he loves most and literally sacrifices himself on the altar of his mistakes to make things right and show Viktor he is loved, and to protect Viktor from the horrifically lonely fate of his future self. It doesn't get any more noble, loving, or self-sacrificing than that.

Because more than we like to see a character punished we like to see them learn from their mistakes and come back better. Jayce's S2 nobility is earned, perhaps even to excess, no one can question whether he suffered enough to make up for what he did in S1 but even the most uncharitable read of him in S1, his biggest hater, would have to agree his time spent starving to death in agony, alone in that cave for months, has got to be just about the worst punishment a human can face and live.

Which is one reason I must add that I find it a little puzzling that Arcane's creators didn't predict the hate that Caitlyn would get in S2.

Keep in mind, because this is very important, the Arcane creators did not make S2 in response to fan reactions to S1. S2 was already in production and the script was locked in and done before anyone outside their organizations saw S1. So nothing that happens in S2 is as a result of fan response.

But, the creators did understand that Jayce was going to need to suffer narrative punishment for what he did in S1 in order to be redeemed, whether they predicted how hated he would be after S1, they did predict that redemption would be necessary. And boy-howdy, did they give him a hell of a redemption arc!

But Caitlyn's S2 actions are almost in lock-step similar to Jayce's S1 actions, being manipulated (by a Medarda!) into accepting power, but maybe not having a choice in the matter, but still maybe expanding that power on their own because it is useful in its own right. Caitlyn also makes terrible mistakes. A child doesn't die but people in the undercity do get hurt during her rage-fuled raids, even if most of them are mob bosses and their goons. The narrative asks, does that make it right? Caitlyn like Jayce hurts the person closest to her who is from the undercity and uses bigoted language against the people of the undercity to Vi's face in much the same way that Jayce did to Viktor on the bridge, though in Jayce's defense, he apologized immediately after.

So, seeing how hated Jayce was coming out of S1, to the point where there's still barely any merchandise of him, I'm shaking my head rather ruefully that there was so much merch made for Caitlyn this time around. And I get it! Caitlyn and Vi were very popular after S1, they are intentionally THE main romance of the show and it was a very popular romance coming out of the innocence of their meet cute in S1.

But it's a romance that dearly needed a longer third act if you wanted Caitlyn to be as embraced after her mistakes as Jayce was after making up for his all through S2. You need to give her as long or at least as in-depth of a redemption act with as much suffering and acknowledgment of her mistakes if you want Vi and Caitlyn at the end to get celebrated the way Jayce making it up to Viktor is, because as much as I understand the choice to focus on pacing instead of exposition, and I do think Caitlyn's apology and realization of her mistakes are there on the page more than people complain, I do also agree that it is a bit "blink and you'll miss it" even if it's there. Jayce got a whole episode of being thrown into the Torment Nexus for his mistakes, real or imagined, if you didn't like him or his choices, you definitely got the sadistic glee of watching life kick the stuffing out of him for what he did in S1.

But besides her fight with Ambessa, which was a result of a confluence of many events in the story, not just Caitlyn's mistakes, Caitlyn doesn't really suffer much for the mistakes she made to those she loves. Her losing an eye to Ambessa didn't happen because she said bigoted things to Vi or became a short-term puppet dictator of Piltover. It was a result of Ambessa's actions and maneuvering more than it was a result of Caitlyn's personal mistakes to her loved ones.

In contrast, Jayce's time in the pit gave him the chance to reflect on and suffer for the the mistakes he made that led to the Anomaly that led to him being down in this pit, and what he would do to make it up to his loved ones like Viktor when he returned. Caitlyn never got a moment like that and from what I'm seeing of the vitriol directed towards her, so similar to what Jayce got after S1, it seems like she really needed it if we were going to like her to the same extent again, in a way uncomplicated by lingering questions about whether she ever truly learned the lessons her character needed to learn to grow as a person.

And it's just funny to me that a narrative that was so aware that this whole huge punishment arc was needed to rehabilitate Jayce wasn't aware that we'd need one for Caitlyn too, at least if they're going to move all that merch they made for her (please give us Jayce merch, Riot, I'm begging).

The sheer and utter heartbreak I felt when he realized he was still seen as a weapon.

When he was the winter soldier, his skills and his ARM were two extreme marks of who he was. A killing machine trained to do nothing but obey orders. In the comics, this was especially true. Considering he had no serum in the comics, the only thing that brought him to the same level as super soldiers was his enhanced arm. No special serums, nothing but his incredible skill to kill. But his arm was what allowed him to be just that much more effective and efficient. It made him who he was. The Winter Soldier, not Bucky Barnes.

When he was in Wakanda. He rebuilt his life. He had peace. He wasn't being put in a freezer and being thrown into wars left and right. He got to go find peace. Calm. A place that allowed him to heal. And with that, he gained a new arm that was supposed to represent that new life. One that wasn't plagued by death and blood. One that represented him as Bucky. Not a weapon. Yes, it still acted similar due to Infinity War, but it's representation was clearly geared towards a new life. He was finally beginning to be himself again.

Only to have that ripped away at the sign of disobeying those of Wakanda. To remove his arm when he was seen as a threat. To be reminded that he will ALWAYS be seen as a monster. A killer. Nothing but the Winter Soldier to them. Even after all that time, he had that trust shattered while he was trying to COMMUNICATE WITH THEM. Not even while trying to hurt anyone. He wanted to de-escalate, and yet he was met with having his small sliver of peace ripped from him.

I hate this scene and the look on his face. It hurts so bad

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

So show me that which I cannot see Even if it hurts me Even if I can't sleep

About that Jayce & Viktor bridge scene in Arcane…

…and how they used camera angles to showcase feelings/relations between those two.

Seguir leyendo

And my heart breaks once again

Selective Mutism

Selective mutism is a fairly common comorbidity of autism, I experience it myself from time to time. It is not the same as being non-verbal, those who are non-verbal are either partially or completely incapable of verbal communication and some are even unable to understand words spoken by those around them. Selective mutism is where an individual is otherwise capable of normal verbal communication but under stress are suddenly unable to speak even if they wanted to. Personally this was one of the reasons I likely wasn’t diagnosed until I was 19, as everyone thought I was just pretending to be mute when it was convenient. Except it usually happens when I am in an argument or being bullied, I would hardly call that a convenient time to shut down. 

So how does this relate to Reed? I found this example of him experiencing selective mutism. This is from Fantastic Four (2013) #5 AU, by Matt Fraction and Andre Araujo, an alternate universe story to tie into Age of Ultron. Here the Fantastic Four are facing the end of the world and they record a goodbye message for Franklin and Valeria. When it comes time for Reed to speak, he simply cannot do it, he is so overwhelmed emotionally the words just won’t come out. 

[Image description: Valeria and Franklin stand before a holo-projection of their father, who is kneeling down, silent, trying to speak. He then raises his index finger in a “wait a minute” gesture. Franklin and Val exchange a confused shrug. Reed returns with a pen and a notepad and begins to write his thoughts down. The notes read: “I don’t know how to say this…words not coming. How does a father say goodbye to his children? Impossible. I am a man of science. There is no god. There is no heaven. There is no hell.” 

Next panel shows Franklin holding Val who is crying

Reed continues to write: “No hell = it doesn’t matter what we do = what we do is all that matters.”

Reed then speaks: “Do you understand, children? For all my failings…Please remember that.”]

As we can see, by the end of the transmission he’s calmed down at least enough to say a few final words to his children. God damn, this issue was heartbreaking.