People Are Not Against You, They Are For Themselves.

She said the rooster is the very first one on the farm to understand that darkness is the beginning of light.

Just when the night can't get any darker, in that split second, a millisecond after it's the darkest it can be, the rooster crows.

Be like a rooster. Wait for the light. It will come; it will arrive without fail. Trust and believe.

From Book: Abundant Ever After by Cathy Heller

Lately I've been thinking about how language can sometimes be a curse - from the words we speak, even though these words have their own meanings, most of us don't even know how they came about but we just use them because that's the tool that is available to us.

Let's not even mention how words are sometimes so misused that they eventually mean nothing, especially when people don't even mean what they say.

I guess every tool has its advantages and disadvantages. I now understand why they say 'silence is divine' because it truly is. There is no misunderstanding or lies construed in silence - it just is. It's so pure, it can't be marred by lies, manipulations or ulterior motives. What a blessing silence is.

Today I gained a new perspective on people- pleasing behaviour. I learnt how the reason we people please is to avoid pain, and that may be through confrontation. So in order to avoid that pain or the pain of disappointing the other person, we people- please. To keep the peace. But at what cost?😑

So one way to deal with this is to accept the discomfort that comes with that confrontation or disappointment.🙁🥺

Become when you engage in people pleasing behaviour. You are not benefit anyone. Not even the other person/people. By choosing to "protect" them from the pain, you are hindering their growth as a person. You are getting in the way of their own healing. And as a result you are also not hindering your own growth by holding onto other people's baggage when you have your own to focus on. 🦋🌸

So rather than being afraid to disappoint them. Be with them through that process of pain. Cause that's the only thing that can help them better than trying to please them.🤍🌱

So yesterday I was watching this video whereby this content creator was speaking about how we should stop bringing the energy of decisions into making choices. She spoke about how people can't even make a simple choice because they are so focused the importance of it because their mind focuses on whether they are making the right or wrong decision. ❌✅

She gave an example of how you can make a choice to attend an event but after experiencing it you then make the decision to leave cause maybe it was boring.

So in order to decide, first make a choice, have the experience and make a decision.

So google says when making a choice we are given the freedom to explore alternatives and choose what will make us happy whereas when making a decision, we are presented with options whose outcomes have been predetermined. Choice connects us to our desired intentions, values and beliefs whereas decisions are connected to places of behaviour, performances and consequences.

I remember when I was still in primary, during athletics season - we had all these different activities that we could try. So we had a choice in choosing what activities to try but at the end of the day you had to make a decision as to which one you would join.

Obviously you make that decision after having experienced all the activities. So by making the decision, you now already know the predetermined outcome which is you coming to practice high jump or sprints for as long as you're part of the team.👟🎽

So with choices it's more experimental and with decisions it gets serious. So the point is stop bring that serious energy into something that's supposed to be a fun experience. Think of making a choice as tasting and making a decision as eating. 🍽️😋🍔

It's almost June and it will be a year since I had decided to start taking walks in my neighborhood and I thought to share the stories from strangers I have met on my walking journey

- One, was an elderly lady who had a daughter that was my age - who had come from a different part of town to find the electricity committee centre in our area. At the end of the walk she even gave me money to thank me for escorting her.

- The other time I came across a high school student, who was on her way to school to fetch her cousins. On that day she was she was dressed in clothes and she was a bit nervous that her schoolmates would judge her attire since everyone would be wearing school uniform. So I offered to walk with her until we parted ways when she saw her cousins. That experience just made me reflect on how when we are still in school - the school community becomes our whole world. Our peers' judgements and opinions seem to matter very much until we leave school and realise it didn't matter at all.

- Another time I came across a university student who was studying architecture - he was telling me about how he couldn't wait to finish his degree so that he could start making money and support his family since the pressure at home was becoming too much for him.

You can't out-think fear you can only out-act it. One step at a time, one fear at a time and eventually, that situation will no longer scare you. And through that action you build the confidence of being able to face whatever fear that might show up.

I just heard someone say " whether you choose to follow your dreams or follow someone's dreams, you still suffer either way. So isn't better to do something worth suffering for?"

What is it like to experience freedom?

- Freedom is like watching a crow fly overhead with its wings open wide

It's like being underwater and soaking in all that watery silence

Freedom is like being immersed in a good book in a good book that you've forgotten about your existence.

Freedoms is like being so in flow in your craft or skill that you've forgotten you're alive.

Freedom feels like being relieved off a heavy task that you've been avoiding for quite some time.

Freedom is like a flower finally blooming after weeks of hibernation

It's like hitting that high note of a song

Freedom feels like releasing that scream that you've been suppressing the whole day

Freedom is being awed by the beauty of nature

Freedom is letting go off a situation you've been grasping for dear life

Freedom feels like taking that last exhale before dozing off

Freedom is finally removing off that mask that you've been wearing all day just to please everyone

Freedom feels like dancing and letting loose

Freedom is peace of mind

Last night I came across a video on Instagram of this women who had decided to quit her job as a lawyer to be a barista. Which was a choice she was actually happy about. And so one day on the job one of her customers happened to be her ex - colleague who went on to ask : "do you work here now?" 👀

And she explained how in that moment she felt so ashamed and started thinking of ways to explain her situation in a way her ex-colleague could understand. Why she decided to work there and how happy that choice made her etc etc. 👣🗣️🙅‍♀️

*So this had me thinking about the courage it takes to go against the grain. The courage it takes to choose and take the path that feels true to you. The courage to be open to the criticism you will receive from people who might not understand you. The courage to choose authenticity every single time. It's not for the weak and if you're on this path, you have my respect. You owe it to yourself to see where this road will lead you.* ☘️🛣️