You Can't Out-think Fear You Can Only Out-act It. One Step At A Time, One Fear At A Time And Eventually,

Ever wore an item of clothing that was just too small for you? Like a small jacket or jeans that were just too tight? With every move you make, you can sense that tightness, that feeling of discomfort. And no one likes being uncomfortable. And in order to be comfortable again, we need to remove that small jacket and put on a more comfy one.🧥👖

Physical discomfort is one thing but emotional discomfort is some totally different. It's not like we can just remove that uncomfortable emotion and replace it with a more comfy emotion. Since we can't do that, most of us end numbing that emotion in order to get comfortable again. Sadly that doesn't remove the discomfort but rather just covers it up until it shows up again. And when it does come up again, we numb it with emotional eating, drinking, shopping and doomscrolling on the socials. 😮‍💨🍺

But the thing with emotions is that they need to be felt. At first it may be hard because feeling that emotion pain is just too uncomfortable. But the deeper you feel into it, the less uncomfortable it becomes. You might have to do it multiple times but eventually it subsides and sometimes even disappear.

So think of a child coming to you crying and telling you that they feel sad or upset about something. We don't tell the child to go shopping, to scroll on social media, to drink or smoke so that the pain goes away. We allow the child to cry, we give them a hug and we tell them it's gonna get better and they are going to be okay. 🌸🌸

So what normally helps me during those times of emotional discomfort is sitting with myself and acknowledging what I feel. Then I communicate with myself - telling myself that I feel sad, angry or in pain but I know it's temporary. I ask my body what's trying to tell me. Other times I go on a walk and just talk to the part of me that is in pain.

And the more I do that - the less uncomfortable that emotion becomes. 💨

It's about having that uncomfortable conversation with yourself. Sometimes we don't know why we feel the way we feel but we just have to feel the emotion. We owe it to our inner child to sit through that emotional discomfort with them and free ourselves. How do you normally deal with your emotional discomfort?

Something I heard this week:

It is not the thing we want that's going to bring us happiness. After we get the thing and we are no longer wanting- that's what brings us happiness. "The No Longer Wanting of it."

So once you no longer want something you are content and in that contentness there is happiness. 🌻

It's okay to start again because this time you are starting from experience. there is nothing wrong with starting over in order to build stronger foundations.

You know those moments when things start to get really hard, and it feels lonely. Those moments when it feels like nothing is going your way? Yeah I'm sure we've all been there.😩😩🫥

The best thing to do in those situations is to trust. Trust that the storm won't last forever. Trust that things will get better because guess what? That is not the first time you're going though such a phase. If you look back you'll realise that you've gone though it before and you're proof that you came out of it alive. So what's persevering one more time? Because out of it you'll come back stronger. 🌱🌱

So guard your mind from those thoughts that try to convince it's the end or its going to be like this forever because it's not, it's just another new beginning waiting to start. See this as just another obstacles that you as the main character has to get through. Trust that you will get through this. Trust that it will get better because that is the nature of life. No winter lasts forever. You've got this!✨🦋🌸

The best thing that works for me when feeling anxious and airy is first grounding myself.

This could be taking a walk barefoot on the Earth, jumping up and down(if I have the energy).

Sometimes it's just sitting outside being present with whatever is outside. That looks like listening to the birds, sitting on the grass, cloud gazing, bird watching or people watching.

Doing something that simple just makes me feel at home within myself.

After I have done that and I feel grounded that's when I start questioning my thoughts as to whether they are true or not and whether it is within my control or not. And lastly I choose to let go and melt into the present moment. Because in that moment I am choosing to trust God in that moment and in turn it's easier to then trust myself. It's easier said than done but it helps ✅

It's almost June and it will be a year since I had decided to start taking walks in my neighborhood and I thought to share the stories from strangers I have met on my walking journey

- One, was an elderly lady who had a daughter that was my age - who had come from a different part of town to find the electricity committee centre in our area. At the end of the walk she even gave me money to thank me for escorting her.

- The other time I came across a high school student, who was on her way to school to fetch her cousins. On that day she was she was dressed in clothes and she was a bit nervous that her schoolmates would judge her attire since everyone would be wearing school uniform. So I offered to walk with her until we parted ways when she saw her cousins. That experience just made me reflect on how when we are still in school - the school community becomes our whole world. Our peers' judgements and opinions seem to matter very much until we leave school and realise it didn't matter at all.

- Another time I came across a university student who was studying architecture - he was telling me about how he couldn't wait to finish his degree so that he could start making money and support his family since the pressure at home was becoming too much for him.

It's not you against the world, it's you against your mind.

Why? Because your entire world lives in your mind. Your thoughts and ideas may come from the world but your perception comes from you. So all those people you say you like or dislike are based on your perception of them. And the things about perception is that it can always change. Meaning you can either choose to be the victim or choose to be responsible of what happens around you. And bit by bit, by changing your perception, you are changing your world.

So learn to befriend your mind. Be curious about those thoughts and judgements you project on people and situations. Is that really how they are or that's how you are choosing to see them?

The Future

A point in time

It could mean tomorrow, next week or next year

It could be in a decade, a millennium or even the next life

Some say the future looks bright

Others say it looks bleak

At the end of the day, it’s all about doing what is right

The past, the present and the future are connected

But to change the future, it all depends on what is done today

What other people are doing is not as important as what action you’re choosing to take

The future may seem far but it’s as close as tomorrow

The future

Some say AI will take over

Others say the world would’ve ended by then

It’s not only about you and I but generations to come

What kind of world are we choosing to leave for them?

Everyone is in a hurry to get somewhere

But no one is stopping to even ask

Where it is we are going

Everyone is busy hustling in the name of achieving success and wanting more

But how much is enough?

Do we even know what we value?

Or it’s just a matter of gaining more and more

The future

Some say it looks bleak

Others say it looks bright

But I say the future looks beautiful

Not only because I choose to believe that it is

But because I am deciding that it is so.

What matters is asking yourself:

If you’ve taken one small action in changing your part of the world today

May we not give up just because it may seem bleak

May we choose to focus on the light that we can see.

One thing I've been insecure about for most of my life is my tummy. My fat tummy. Cause that's what it is - fat.

Most of the time, I suck it in to the point where people even compliment me on my "flat" stomach and in my head I'll be like "if only you knew"

Anyway, today I took a visit to the doctor and I was seated in the reception area, across from me sat a girl around me age wearing a crop top. That crop top was revealing her stomach. Her fat stomach but she wasn't even bothered at all. For her, it was completely normal.

And because of that experience I've began to fully accept this part of me. The stomach I don't see as nice. I've decided to accept my stomach for what it is.

I've decided to appreciate my stomach for all the digesting and detoxing that it has done for me.

I'm slowly learning to love my stomach by looking in the mirror and hugging it and also speaking positive affirmations and being grateful that I am healthy because of it.

How I dealt with a limiting belief I've been struggling with- Part 1:

1. Identify the feeling associated with the limiting belief. (For me, the feeling of fear was behind the limiting belief)

2. Notice where in the body you feel it. (I could feel this fear mainly in my legs and stomach)

3. Feel deeply into the feeling. In order for me to deeply feel into the feeling, I started thinking of the limiting thoughts I think which automatically triggered the feeling of fear. And the more I felt into it - the more the feeling rose. It to more and more intense and then eventually it started to dissipate. And I started to feel less and less uncomfortable.