Upon Realising That I Could Not Romance The Milfs, I Decided To 1, Get Married (to Shane), 2, Have Children,

Finally it is completed:

THE TEAM FORTRESS UNIVERSE TIMELINE!!

with minimal theorising and guesswork.

Google Docs

Tf2 Timeline (Final Final)

*THE (un)OFFICIAL, CANON SOURCED, AT LEAST 98% ENTIRELY ACCURATE TEAM FORTRESS TIMELINE (TFT)* By Jevilowo of Tumblr dot com (apologies in

(I made a new google account for this lol)

It's actually ridiculous how long this took me, but I'm VERY GLAD I perserveared and completed it! READ IT NOW!! if you have time. Hehehhehehehehe its 10pm.

(Oh ueah @shephardofthedamned you wanted to be @/ed on this back in like July HERE YA GO)

edit: TIMELINE IS NEW AND IMPROVED, UPDATED POST COMIC 7

When you understand that kids and teenagers being salty about literary symbolic analysis comes from a very real place of annoyance and frustration at some teachers for being over-bearing and pretentious in their projecting of symbolism onto every facet of a story but you also understand that literary analysis and critical thinking in regards to symbolism is extremely important and deserves to be not only taught in schools, but actively used by writers when examining their own work to see if they might have used symbolism unintentionally and to make sure that they are using symbolism effectively:

Camera falls from a plane and lands in a pig pen.

Well, I’ve already scared off the people on insta— time to do the same to tumblr.

Somebody order a big titty goth? No? Huh.

Well, take him anyways.

I think that given the release of the FNAF movie, I will tell the tale of my most memorable dream. For context, I was 10 at the time, undiagnosed asthma (this will matter later), and had been watching the games since Markiplier first played the game.

The dream started with being in a completely blank house, myself going through the doors and finding random items inside, closing them, and going to the next one. For some reason, if I found a FNAF animatronic, they would chase me, except for Foxy and Chica. I don’t know why those two, but they were also searching doors with me. I’m pretty sure I was supposed to be looking for an exit, but that part’s pretty blurry, since the next thing I remember was being outside on the path leading to one of those roads that game devs have when they don’t want to make a whole town. The ‘enemy’ animatronics weren’t chasing us, but we started running anyway. Then, I heard footsteps coming from behind me, and I think it was phantom Bonnie (the purple, really rare one) who I saw behind me. Cue more running, until I start to get tired. This is where I think my exemplary survival instincts come into play; my legs were beginning to get tired, and Chica and Foxy were running past me (because apparently they were also scared) so you know what I did? I stopped completely, turned around and was like ‘I’m tired, you can kill me now’. Phantom Bonnie began slowly walking towards me, but it was two steps away from me when I decided suddenly, ‘Oh! Actually, I don’t want to die’ and then started running again. Made it to the end of the road and then woke up.

No clue what the moral was.

Thanks for coming to my tedtalk.

constantly needing to express my undying love and affection to my friends

Never have I been exactly worried about the whole ‘sites share your data and invasion of privacy’ thing, but I do have to say it’s a bit weird when tumblr gives you an ad that has the exact things that are currently in your like-list.

And no, I didn’t crop it weird. That is the ad that it showed me.

must a fictional relationship be “healthy” or “functional”? is it not enough to simply watch two made up people destroy each other, hand in unlovable hand???

Lemony Snicket, The Beatrice Letters