Latest Posts by im-just-a-lady - Page 6

remember

your mistakes do not define you

other people’s opinions do not matter

you’re are stronger than your anxiety and those intrusive thoughts

I think I have finally slowly internalised the fact that motivation is a feeling, an emotion just like any other. It comes and goes as it please.

And well my study schedule cannot change to adjust to my bouts of motivation.

The key for me, I realised, was discipline.

Yes it’s hard and sucky and I hate it. But I do it anyway. Because if I don’t, the regret that I feel later on makes me hate myself. And I fear that regret so much.

So for me its a choice - I can either suffer the pain of discipline or I can suffer the pain of regret. And if I’m going to be in pain anyway, why the heck should I not gain something out of it?

So I sit down to study.

Sure I also add things that will make it easy for me to do that. Because I, I love studying. Once I start, I really really enjoy the subjects I have chosen and the concepts I understand.

But for me the really hard part is sitting down to study. So I work on that…

1. I just sit down. On time. With a schedule that I follow everyday so that I exert less mental strength trying to convince myself. I just know its time for me to study if I follow my schedule.

2. I am all about the little things, all about feeling good and in control. So I do that. I make a big and aesthetic affair out of sitting down to study. I prepare myself a snack and get myself something to drink and set my study area and books - I create a visual setup that makes me want to study.

3. I limit how many times I get up. I know people say attention span is short and we should use the pomodoro technique, but personally speaking it just does not work for me. I find it hard to get in the study zone but really easy to stay once I am there and concentration and so taking many breaks actually really distracts me and take me out of my study zone. So I take less breaks and I make sure I already have everything I need with me before I sit down to study so that I do not have to get up for them.

4. I make the process fun for me. I know my way of studying, my strengths and my weaknesses. So I use them to my advantage. I am a very conceptual learner, I am a visual learner, I am prefer to write things down to slow myself and understand, I prefer my study material in my own language and my own way of explaining, I am a very organised person. I am very bad at memorising random facts that have no logic. So I incorporate all these in my notes - I make my notes very organised and aesthetic notes that help me memorise. I add diagrams and flowcharts of my explanations. I use mnemonics that relate to me and are easy for me to remember (they are usually jokes that make people thing I have a very broken sense of humour).

5. I do not study in groups. I know again this is very controversial specially for med school but when I am understanding a new topic, I find the presence of people around me very distracting. I prefer to study in my room by myself. On the other hand, once I have studied the topic, I benefit from group discussions. I sit down with my friends and make them understand the topic… this helps them and it helps me. Teaching someone else is a very good way of revising for me and their questions make me think and understand parts I may have missed while studying.

6. I plan what I am going to study the next day, the might before. I put my pen on the first page of the topic or chapter or whatever and shut the book. This way I know I simply have to open my book and get down to study because everything else has been done before. It’s almost like I get rid of my possible excuses before hand.

I feel sitting down and understanding your way of studying is important for this very reason. So that you can make your plan and study accordingly. It decreases so much resistance and makes you so sure of your ways.

GUIDE TO THE MINDSET GLOW UP 🎀

♡ | positive mindset

easier said than done, but it has such a huge impact in our life. we as humans tend to always think negatively of everything, resulting us to give up. but what if it will work out? what we think constantly reflects in our reality and actions. why do we have to always blame ourselves for everything, why do we have to be anxious over little things, why do we have to always think of the worst when we can just flip the words, meaning, love and believe in ourselves.

- ways to have a positive mindset

the bus theory - when u see the bus that you missed u don’t actually run after it, right? you just wait for another one, knowing that it 100% will be here. think of your opportunities/relationships etc that you’ve "lost" as this bus.

the universe/god never says no; it either says yes , not yet or I have something better for you.

practice self-care, be gentle to yourself. you are waking up and always trying and it’s enough.

the moments you thought that are the "worst" are only moments now, and you’re still here. Be proud of yourself for that

a little rain doesnt have to ruin the parade

practice meditation. clean mind = better mood

journal journal journal (I’m going to make a post of journal benefits soon)

this absolutely doesn’t mean that you always have to be positive about everyone and everything. If you feel sad or feel like crying let it all out. if you feel drained allow yourself to sit all day and watch shows. it’s all about accepting yourself and not "I’m such a failure I did nothing today" instead "it’s okay, I have tomorrow where I can try again".

♡ | discipline > motivation

motivation comes and go, but discipline is forever. you are scared and not trying? It’s okay, do it while being scared. count to 3 and start doing something, take action. just DONT sit around. have a plan and don’t try to do everything all at once, or you will be easily drained . everyday do something better for 1% and you’ll see how just in a short while this 1% will be 100%.

a very good episode of mimi’s :

♡ | kindness to yourself is kindness to everyone

treat yourself with love and respect before others. everyone in this world is a human and I do not wish for you or them to spread hate. we all have bad days and this is exactly why we should so self-care or reach out to someone, but never blame anyone for anything.

you don’t owe anyone anything, but kindness and respect.

what you give is what you receive.

respect is not earned, disrespect is.

♡ | no one knows you better than you do

no you are not horrible for the mistakes that you’ve made. do you know what makes you horrible? not acknowledging them. if you wronged someone, apologize. even if it’s too late and the relationship is lost, I’m so proud of you for realizing your mistake and trying to do better. learn AND improve. accept yourself for all the pluses and minuses. you’re a crybaby? good because I’m too, and it’s absolutely okay. In fact, I think vulnerability is very powerful. you are human and you don’t have to be perfect. thrive for being better not perfection. do not listen to rumors or someone thinking that you are a bad person. you in fact know that you are not and it’s all that matters. why do you care if you are enemy in their story , they aren’t heroes in yours either.

insecurity is loud, confidence is quiet.

♡ | boundaries

to stay away from toxic people you have to have boundaries. I think the most common type here is "people pleasing" so here’s my post to help you to stop being one.

when someone does something that makes you uncomfortable, please let them know about it. you don’t have to tolerate this behavior. your own peace is the most important thing ever.

if they still repeat their actions then well … it’s time to say goodbye.

if you think that you will "lose" everything by setting boundaries please go back to the top and read the "ways to have a positive mindset" :)

watch youtubers, listen to podcasts etc to connect with people like you and improve your mindset alongside with boundaries.

here’s my list of my favs, but you can find waaaay more on tumblr

♡ | confidence

be confident, trust yourself, and never let anybody put you down. If anybody puts you down, it’s because they’re jealous. – Adriana Lima

do not compare yourself with ANYONE. the person you are looking at and saying "I wish I was her" might be doing the same. compare yourself with YOUR dream girl that you have in your head. your only competition is you.

after boundaries, positive mindset, discipline, naturally comes the confidence. loving yourself and staying true to yourself is what confidence exactly is.

no fake it till you make it, no difficult words, just you . take it easy.

♡ | tip: body language and fitness

this is more on the physical side but I advice you to learn a little bit about body language. It helps you to appear confident and attractive. my "go to’s" are entering the room with high head and good posture, never sitting on your phone (as in checking the weather app awkwardly etc not when someone calls or texts u) when coming to an unknown place.

fitness helps to relieve stress and clear out your mind when you don’t want to meditate. and by fitness I don’t mean intense workouts, a 5 minute workout that you enjoy is enough. also walking 10.000 steps a day also counts as fitness to have a healthy and balanced life.

I , for example, have a playlist with different workouts and I do each on of them on different days, whenever I feel like choosing one. sometimes I don’t even work out I just walk 7-10K steps :)

— the end ♡

in conclusion I just want to say ITS OKAY ITS OKAY ITS OKAY. You are fine. You are enough. Make mistakes, be sad, improve, be disappointed, try, love, learn, thrive. The purpose of this post is for you to understand that DONT exist , LIVE. Because life is worth living for. You were, are, will be okay.

she’s everything..

her hair is styled, she goes to bed at 10 every night, she drinks matcha, she does pilates on the weekends, her screentime is low, her selfcare days are her best days.

you can be her, you just have to be willing to put in the effort 🎀

ig: wickeddragonuk

The more confident you are, the more emotionally resilient you become.

Confidence is an affirmation of our abilities and self worth. It is grounded in self awareness and recognizing your strengths and weaknesses. When we possess this self belief, we inherently trust our judgment and skills, regardless of external opinions. Many people look for external validation, leading to emotional vulnerability. If your sense of self-worth is tied to external validation, you become more susceptible to criticism or negative feedback. However, when someone is genuinely confident, they often don't rely on external validation. They perceive challenges or negative feedback as growth opportunities rather than personal affronts. This mindset stems from a strong internal locus of control, where you believe your actions can influence outcomes. This confidence brings a lot of benefits, such as diminished fear of failure, better decision making skills, and healthier relationships.

Studio Ghibli + Butterflies

Challenging bouquet commish but I think it turned out good

he has a flower for you!

"How do you get everything you want " is such a good question because no its not manifesting or attracting or feminine pussy power energy femme Fatale dark femininity whatever. It's because I learned how to ask.

A raise? Meeting w the boss it is. That cool airbnb that's not in my budget but I want? K we call the owner /manager. Event but no tickets? Who am I calling? An assignment that I want assigned to someone else? Let's have lunch together. Hell one time I got an entire plane ticket from someone at the airport and opera ticket from someone outside the opera.

I get what I want because i have the power of negotiation and communication

And I don't mean finesse, I don't curve people that's a real fast way to set yourself up for failure, if they don't catch you karma will. Life does not favor liars, I don't manipulate. I lay it on the table as it is. I want that assignment. What do I have to do to get it. Will I one up you? Probably. Will I do whatever is in my best interests? Of course. One thing I won't do though is lie or blindside. This is what I want. What needs to be done.

Ladies Everything, every single thing you get in life will be handed to you by another human being. Your house your car your job your marriage your kids. Everything. Every single thing you have you've been provided for by a person. Save the oxygen in your lungs. Hell even your genetics came from someone.

Power, real power is in communication and negotiation. No amount of loa and manifesting and pussy power feminine energy femme Fatale dark femininity whatever mumbo jumbo will save you from that. Eventually you'll get it from someone. Learn to talk to people. If you have to take communication classes do it. If you have to exposure therapy DBT do it. If you need a coach get one. If you have to read all the negotiation books do it.

Success, all forms of it, is completely dependent on your ability to effectively communicate and negotiate. Everything else is supplementary.

Website

Made this for a discord server I’m in, thought I’d put it here. Remember to be kind to yourself. Yes, even if it’s really funny

𝖠𝗋𝗍 𝖻𝗒 𝖠𝗇𝗇𝖺-𝖫𝖺𝗎𝗋𝖺 𝖲𝗎𝗅𝗅𝗂𝗏𝖺𝗇 | 𝖨𝖦: 𝖺𝗇𝗇𝖺𝗅𝖺𝗎𝗋𝖺_𝖺𝗋𝗍

Field of moody green clovers ♡

how to regulate ur emotions໒꒱ ‧₊˚💗

emotional intelligence is arguably the most important thing that u can learn. self control will SAVE you even when ur dealing with an emotion. im going to go thru emotions and how to regulate them;

(remember feelings r passing sensations thru ur body, feelings are NEVER forever nothing is)

anger - pause until ur able to think clearly so that u can respond RATIONALLY instead of reacting.

overwhelmed - write down what u need to get done, in ur notes app or on a piece of paper, complete each task one at a time in order of importance

insecure - work on appreciating urself, tell urself that u are more than enough and give urself credit for it

rejection - acknowledge that the feeling sucks but don’t let it consume u. rejection=redirection

discourage - be kind to urself and remind urself of why you are trying. use that as ur strength

anxiety - focus on the present moment and take deep breaths to regulate the nervous system