Latest Posts by herhighnessthegoblinqueen - Page 2

I briefly read this as stairs instead of stars, and golly gee wouldn’t that be a fun world to live in? Just to be clear, you can look at those for free at night too. 

the fact that stars exist and we can look at them every single night for free just makes me go !!!!!!!!!!!!

like to charge reblog to cast

🕯️ 🕯️ 🕯️

🕯️🕯️ may all 🕯️🕯️

🕯️🕯️corrupt politicians🕯️🕯️

🕯️🕯️ meet their fate 🕯️🕯️

🕯️🕯️ ‧͙☆༓happy ides༓☆‧͙🕯️🕯️

🕯️🕯️ to all 🕯️🕯️

🕯️ 🕯️ 🕯️

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZTdQuxw52/

I think I found my new favorite rabbit hole. This voice actor does Shakespeare scenes in a southern accent and I need to see the whole damn play. Absolutely beautiful

writing? oh, i’m definitely writing. in my head. during the most inconvenient times. like in the shower or when i’m about to fall asleep. actual typing? no, no, we don’t do that here.

Guys is he gonna become the Grinch but for Easter? Will he don a robo-bunny suit and steal all the eggs, then shoot Jesus just for good measure?

Reblog to make him lose another 200 billion, like to make him lose 1 billion

I saw some snippet of a callout post for an autistic trans woman where they list social faux pas she committed, and I think we allistic people should all feel 100x more ashamed of not telling people in the moment how we feel about what they're doing. I think its extremely evil and cruel to not only lie to an autistic person and blame them for it but also to feel justified shaming them for your behavior. And it's currently the social norm to do that

Sorry, I haven’t done my work, yeah, I’m in spoon jail. Yeah, I was in really bad spoon debt, and I stopped paying my spoon taxes. Yeah, I can’t do anything until I gather enough spoons to pay my spoon bail.

Today in niche genres of joke that I can never get enough of and will probably still be secretly thinking about four years later

I like not taking credit for stuff and just telling everyone someone really hot did it. If they’re like “was it you” I’m like “well you said it not me”

Abolish Tesla.

I spent a lot of time handcuffed and in a cage in high school, for a charity bit the grocery store I worked at would do

the bit was that I was "put in jail for having too big a heart" and customers could donate to my bail to get me out (and the money would go to a children's hospital or something)

now. I was very clearly a teenaged employee handcuffed inside a large cage. and I would honestly tell people that I had been in there for hours. and people would say, that's terrible! that's awful! and I would show them my wrists red from the tight handcuffs, and say but I'm sooooooo close to making bail.

and then they would dump some cash in the basket, I'd thank them, and they'd walk away.

and every so often, one of the managers would come by and collect some of the cash, so I could keep being soooooo close to making bail.

I was very good with this bit. Parents with small kids would pay $5-10 if I told their children I had been placed in jail for not cleaning my room/doing my homework, etc. For people in their 20s, I'd threaten that I was very bad at playing the harmonica, but I WOULD play it and we'd all suffer unless they paid me. and for the most amount of money, older men in suits would almost always pay $20s if I avoided eye contact and stammered a lot.

eventually, the managers started to feel bad because I was in the cage so fucking long and often, that I'd need someone to brace me when I got out because I'd have no feeling in my legs. wobbling like a newborn giraffe.

but I would also rake in at LEAST $100 an hour in charity.

so they were like, hey champ. can we, uh, give you a pillow to sit on. in the cage. would you like a pillow so you're not just sitting on a cold metal slab. can we give you a pillow.

and I had to explain to them that if they gave me a pillow, people would think I was more comfortable, so they wouldn't feel as bad, so I'd bring in less money.

the compromise was that they'd bring me a nice coffee every couple hours, which I would have to try to block with my body from the customers.

all this money went to charity. that's what the money was for. it's what was on the sign. but how much they were willing to pay was very contingent on how comfortable I looked, never mind the fact that I was still a teenaged employee handcuffed inside a cage.

and out of the dozens of shifts I did this on, not ONCE did ANYONE say, hey kid I'm going to go talk to your manager because what the fuck is going on here. they would just drop money in the basket, and I'd thank them and sip from my secret drink.

I actually had people get MAD at me that I told them I was far away from bail, they donated like $15, and then 20 minutes I got let out because my shift ended.

again. the money was for charity. it was on the sign that was very clearly placed on the upper half of my cage.

so yeah. even when people think they mean well. people can be really, really fucking stupid.

Truly devastated

"We should ban books with inappropriate content!"

Okay girl pick-a-little-talk-a-little. If you melt me down you will reveal a lump of lead as cold as steel here where a woman's heart should be.

🎵 maybe it will did turn out this time on the road to hell, on the railroad line 🎵

I'm not a socially awkward introvert. I'm a socially awkward extrovert. I am perfectly capable of carrying a conversation, but I'll carry it like a seagull carries a french fry. Snatching it from your fingers and flying off faster than you can process, and then taking it somewhere weird.

Never ever ever eat raw white onion and then smoke cigarette.

(X) (X)

ETA a new option:

(From a source I will not link.)

For no reason here is a library story

Great thread by John Rogers on why writers need to be on set for TRAINING purposes, written late on May 6th, 2023:

(click to enlarge and probably for better quality)

(link to first tweet)

Bonuses:

Link to John's thread about having writers on set for DIALOGUE.

Only day you can reblog this

Meet and fall in love with the Orpheus and Eurydice from Dead Boy Detectives. I promise it doesn't hurt. Much.

The fact that this is 80 fucking years ago but still just as relevant is terrifying.

Once again its 3am and this washing machine wizard haunts me

Hey uhhh can you get me a drink im thirsty

(Slings the damp rag I’ve been using to wipe down the bar over my shoulder, dries hands on lil bartender apron) sure, what’ll you be having

I don't care what your perception of the female body has been warped into by the media and advertising prevalent in culture. eat some goddamn carbs