I Just Thought Of A Au Where All The Batkids Are Kind Of Like Mob Bosses But More In A “Red Hood/kill

I love the ship but also the platonic version of this too.

Hal: what's that?

Bruce: *intense glaring on J'onn*

J'onn: *vibing*

Barry: who knows? *drinks smoothie*

Meanwhile Bruce and J'onn telepathically:

Bruce: I'm sending good vibes in your direction *bat-glare* do not resist

J'onn: this is terrifyingly nice of you, thank you, Batman

...

Dick: there are good things coming your way, you can't escape, they are going to get you

M'gann: that's ominously sweet of you, thanks

To: My brother

From: @hauntedpeanuttalele on Tumblr

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"I work alone," he says

Damian will never admit this but when ever Bruce gets injured he sneaks into his room and cuddles him. Bruce knows oviosly but he knows that Damian needs to be reashured that Bruce is ok so he never mentions it. Like how he never mentions if any of his other kids join or if Dick and Jason hang around the manor more. He does not agnoleage that Cass follows him around. Or Steph needing to "find something" she convenianty forgot in the room Bruce's in and that ever time she asks if he needs something or if he feels pain anywhere. Or when Duke goes to "study" in the room Bruce's in because it "has good lighting' or "is his faveriote spot to study in."

Because if there is one thing that they got from Bruce it is their emotional constipation when it comes to talking about their feeling and worries.

So I’ve been introduced to the “Blinky is Jim’s biological dad” AU and I fell in love with the idea of Blinky showing up as a John Doe at the same hospital Barbara is working at. They meet here and there as the hospital monitors and tries to figure out what to do with him since he has no memory of where he’s from and no one has claimed to know him.

He takes on the name James Lake and gets settled into a new life in Arcadia. Barbara becomes a dear friend to him and she frequently comes over to try his cooking (a hobby he picks up after he becomes enamored with food and flavors). Within a couple years they’re married with a beautiful little boy.

When James disappears on Jim’s fifth birthday, Barbara’s conflicted. Part of her wants to be angry at him for up and leaving while another part of her wonders if his memories came back and he left to return to his old life. Or maybe he went out and something happened that made him lose himself, again, and now he’s wondering around some other place with no idea he has a wife and son waiting for him. Regardless of why he disappeared, it’s still heartbreaking and hardly makes it any easier when he shows up in her house years later acting like he doesn’t know what his own name is or that Jim’s his son.

Other thoughts on this AU:

I like the “Jim shows certain troll-like traits as he grows up like clinging to his parents and eating questionable items” thing

Jim decides one Halloween to be a troll warrior and Blinky helps him make his costume. He adds the extra arms even though he can’t for the life of him remember seeing trolls depicted like that in any of the shows Jim watches or the books they read to him

When he first wakes up, Blinky has a strange appetite that, like in the show, causes him a lot of stomach issues. After he’s introduced to better foods, he decides he’ll occupy his time with exploring recipes and flavors

One day Aaarrrgghh catches Blinky’s scent and follows it back to the Lake home. He inherently knows that the man in the window is Blinky - the scent leads to him and the voice matches perfectly to his friend. He doesn’t tell anyone in Troll Market nor does he interfere with the life Blinky has seemingly made for himself. Instead, he watches over the family even after Blinky returns to troll form

Blinky doesn’t really question why Aaarrrgghh makes a point to check up on this one specific human family and after a couple visits he elects to leave his friend to it on his own. The larger troll never explains his attachment to them, but Blinky trusts his friend has his reasons

When Blinky is turned back into a human and Barbara reveals who he was before, he ends up staying with Jim and Barbara in hopes of awakening some of his memories. It works, gradually, and he and Barbara are able to rekindle their relationship

Instead of Jim simply taking Blinky back to Troll Market when he pauses time, he brings both his parents back to his house - they’re gonna have to tell his mom the truth eventually and she already saw the transformation. 

Finally SOMEONE SAID IT

We don't talk enough about how superbat is that one gay couple that literally looks like twins

When they go public all the media headlines are like "The Only Man That Can Tame Bruce Wayne Is..... Bruce Wayne" and "Bruce Wayne Dates winner of his own look-alike competition". Bruce proudly embraces this, going on interviews and joking about the importance of "self-love", saying he's not surprised that him and his fans have the same type. This becomes a meme about how everyone Bruce surrounds himself with looks like him, from his kids to his partners.

At the Planet though, this brings back the rumors that Clark runs away every time superman shows up because they dated and had a messy break up. Everyone pities Clark since he's clearly not over his ex. Why else would he date the most well-known superman lookalike. The office held a betting pool on how long the Brucie rebound will last but it's been much longer than they expected. Lois keeps spreading more Clark/Supes rumors because she finds it hilarious and makes alot of money off the betting pool. She buys Clark's coffee every morning to make up for it.

This only gets worse as they keep dating and start sharing clothes. Damian once mistook the back of Clark, who was getting ready for a gala, for Bruce. He remembers this as one of his greatest failures.

Fight Fight FIGHT!!!!!!!