But The Villain And The Anti-hero Bitching About The Popular Hero Is Like The Funniest Shit Ever

One day hero walks in and completely gives up. They just don't care anymore. What's the point of stopping the villain today is if they'll have to do it again tomorrow.

The villain now has wrap their head around this fact and after (struggling with it) ask hero out on a road trip of self discovery because "it's no fun without them' *whiny voice* that escalates into bonding experiences and unsolicited character growth

It is common knowledge that the villain has a crush on the hero. Anytime a ragged looking civilian comes to hero's workplace, the receptionist points them at hero's office without questions. They frequently visit hero to complaint like they're asking to see a war crime's manager.

" Your villain tried to blow up my establishment!!!"

"FOR THE LAST TIME! they are not my villain!"

*angry white women walks towards hero* "oh for god's sake what did they do now!"

"Can you please keep your villain in check." "They're not my *sigh* I'll try. "

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Do you think

The boy who eats nightmares,

Cries sometimes,

At the violence and sorrows

Hidden in the shameful crevices

Of our fragile minds

—That even his immortal self can't imagine.

Are you a 'Tol pins smol to a wall with dagger to their throat'gay or are you a 'smol pins tol to the floor while straddling their waist'gay or are you a 'Tol is tied to a chair while smol uses a knife to lift their chin'gay

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Hero x villian promt

They laughed, taunting and bitter. “Do you know what it's like wanting something more than you can tell? Anything; freedom, love, safety.” They said, their face looked like something older than age. “ Wanting something so bad that that your whole body whole body is restless down to your fingers and toes. And do you know what it feels to have it be dangling in front of you? Feeling your fingers brush over it before it's pulled away. Everyone's born with something like stars in their chest cavity. I was too. But with enough pressure, all stars can explode, collapse in on itself. And we all know what is left after that.”

We all love our cocky suave flirty villians and our goofy rambly crack energy hero who basically runs on caffeine and sass, hasn't slept in 72hours because 'the latex clad chipmunk can't take a fucking break from trying to fucking take over the world'

But also consider— the opposite.

The hero who keeps flirting with the villian and teasing them and pushing their buttons and only realising after they go too far and the villians face darkens and they go oh shit

The villian tries to blow up a restaurant cause they said you too when the waitress there said enjoy your meal once and now it's the only way to escape the embarassment

— "How the fuck did you survive that!"

" Can't a guy destroy the city in peace around here!"

This blog is now apparently dedicated to enemies to lovers connoisseur-ing. I mean I'm not complaining but still

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Can more authors balantly self insert themselves into the side characters who constantly voice their shipping feels at the most inappropriate moments that's just good stuff. Like

"I hate you!" "I hate you more!!" *appearing uncomfortably close to their faces from God knows where* "Now kiss."

Two same gender people *glaring intensely at each other* "that's gay babes"

A *compliments B* "I ship it bitches!"

Just top tier comedy. Love.

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Okay but who invented the trope of the 'hero's side kidnaps the Villains very sweet,meek, kind sidekick/friend/relative for a hostage situation but turns out they're actually scarier than the villain' and have they been awarded a noble peace prize yet. (Bonus points if they're very bossy and the villian is low-key scared of them. Also if they're very old.)

"Hello Villain, we've kidnapped x—" "I'm sorry." "Well you should be and uh," " No, I'm sorry for you, good luck." *Hangs up*

Hero "We don't want anybody to get hurt." "Me either," *standing up already having undid their bindings* "So if you'll just step aside."

*Tiny person dressed in bloodstained pastel colours and floral designs walks into villains lair with a single fork in hand* "Villain! How long does it take to pick up a single person from the hero's, I had to walk all the way over here!" Villain*sweating* "I'm sorry."

If you're looking to like me,

Don't go looking under my skin.

There are stories there that even I have forgotten I buried.

I'm made of molecules old as this universe, and Sometimes under my skin; it shows.

There exist hidden acloves you may never find your your way back.

And some black holes that stare back at you.

Be safe in my heart instead,

Where the carefully curated kindness and empathy and sunshine personality is kept.

Under my skin is where I store the behind the scenes stuff;

The scars and the traumas.

But if you're looking to love me;

Well, enter at your own risk.

—i just hope I don't disappoint.

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