Reminder To Myself And All Self Shippers

I like how most posts about being in love with a fictional character are made as a joke, and then there’s us in the corner like “lol… no, but actually though.”

-Admin Eevee

Character Mannerisms

Here’s some considerations for the tiny little details that can add a lot to a character. Figuring out these mannerisms can do a lot for conveying character traits through their normal actions rather than just their thoughts, dialogue, etc.

How’s their posture? There are more options than just sitting up straight or slouching a lot. What’s their most comfortable sitting position? Do they have a consistent posture or does it change depending on situation / present company? 

How’s their etiquette? Do they hold the door for people behind them? How do they handle handshakes and other kinds of typical contact? Does their language change or become more formal when speaking to strangers? To their elders? To their superiors? 

In a crowded space, do they get out of people’s way, or do people get out of THEIR way? 

How do they point something out? Pointing their finger? Nodding their head? A flippant wave of the hand?

What are their comfort gestures or self-touch gestures? Common comfort gestures include rubbing the back of the neck or gripping their own arms. Can they suppress these gestures or do they do them often?

Also consider the character’s common reactions to common emotions. Do they whoop when they’re excited? Do they tremble when angry? 

What parts of the body are the most expressive? Do they shuffle and stomp their feet a lot when agitated or excited? Are they a hand talker? Do they have an impressive range of motion with their eyebrows?

How do they sound? Do their car keys jingle as they walk? Do they drag their feet? Do their heels clack resoundingly on hard floors? Do they breathe loudly? Do they fidget in ways that make a lot of noise?

How do they handle eye contact?

Any behaviors they reserve for moments when they’re alone? (Or possibly among family/friends that don’t care?) Do they pick their nose? Do they bite their toenails? Do they sniff their armpits? Or do they not care if people see behavior like this?

Apart from comfort gestures, what else do they do to comfort themselves in trying times? What’s their go-to self care? What’s their comfort food? Where’s their safe space?

What are they doing with themselves as they’re suppressing emotion? Lip biting, fist clenching, and avoiding eye contact are common methods of coping with strong emotions.

Tom Tom Club - Genius of Love (1981).

“My mission, should I choose to accept it, is to find peace with exactly who and what I am. To take pride in my thoughts, my appearance, my talents, my flaws and to stop this incessant worrying that I can’t be loved as I am.”

— Anaïs Nin

i have something to say 

How To (Really!) Use The Law Of Attraction!

Powerful attracting action steps:

1. Write your goal out by hand everyday. Anything you will not write down by hand on paper, isn’t something you really want.

2. … Write out your goal with your non-writing hand everyday. This activates new neural pathways in your creative brain and tells your subconscious mind you’re serious.

3. Brainstorm different plans, however unrealistic they seem. It costs you nothing to imagine.

4. Read up on people that have had similar success. Even if their successful in a different industry, it feeds your brain with “like images” it can begin to create.

5. Stuck? Ask the Universe a question and then forget about it. Questions stir your brain to search for the answer. If it cannot answer, it will connect with Universal Intelligence to find an answer. 6. Do something that feels good. And repeat. We have desires because we think they will make us feel good. By feeling good now in whatever small way, we align with our dreams. 7. Fall asleep asking yourself one question: if my wishes were fulfilled how would I feel? Your subconscious mind assumes you want more of what you want when you fall asleep thinking about it as if it’s already done.

8. Team up with a law of attraction based Life Coach. Let them unlock your potential. If I can help, please see soulfulfilled.tumblr.com/coaching

type preferences vs dynamics and why your f/o loves you!

i’ve been thinking this over a little, and it’s something i’ve seen people say now and again - “i’m not my f/o’s type, so they’d never spare me a glance.” i’m here to shatter that thought with a sledgehammer by introducing a much more nuanced way to look at relationships.

this post has been made before, in short, by someone else on this site - the basic concept that dynamics are more important than one’s “type” isn’t something i came up with entirely independently, nor is the phrasing of type versus dynamic. however, i don’t remember where to find the original post! if i come across it, i will be sure to link it here.

more information is, as always, under the cut!

Keep reading

hey! it’s been a while since i’ve written any resource posts, and this is a little more of a positivity post than a resource, but hopefully it will be helpful.

i’ve seen a lot of selfshippers/fictos talking about why and when these practices are acceptable and when they “cross the line.” in my opinion, i think some of these statements can create an uncomfortable or even implicitly hostile environment for certain mentally ill selfshippers and fictos, as well as reinforce ideas the community is trying to fight. these statements, even given various nuances, boil down to a few core ideas a number of people in the community seem to hold. the idea seems to be that “selfship is OK because it is just for fun/a coping mechanism, and selfshippers can still date in real life. because selfship is just for fun/a coping mechanism, taking it too seriously inherently means a loss of touch with reality, which is a personal fault.”

my greatest concern with this has been that it is potentially rather dismissive of the feelings of mentally ill selfshippers who experience psychosis. such people DO have a loss of touch with reality, through no fault of their own - and for many, this is something they cannot “fix,” even with medication or therapy. if one’s psychosis influences them to believe in or experience something that isn’t objectively real, but this belief or experience does not cause them distress or even improves their quality of life, it is not the responsibility of individuals without the condition to denigrate their experiences or urge them to “fix” their psychosis. in a community which is vocally supportive of mentally ill people, it is the responsibility of the members of that community to support the experiences of all mentally ill people. selfshippers and fictos with psychotic conditions are just as valid in their feelings as any of the rest of us, even if their conditions cause them to experience their f/os in a way we do not.

in addition, it isn’t fair to assert that selfship is okay because it’s “just” a coping mechanism, “just” for fun, or because all fictos/selfshippers prefer (and will abandon the practice for) a “real partner.” if it improves one’s quality of life and harms no one, there is no need for further justification, regardless of whether or not it fits with what outsiders consider “normal.” selfship (and fictosexuality) is not only okay when it’s easy to justify to outsiders. appealing to standards of “normalcy” only creates acceptable targets - “we are okay because we are normal, but those people who disagree with us are not normal, and therefore not okay.” that, ironically enough, is the exact logic on which “cringe culture” operates. you do not have to be “normal” to be worthy of respect and understanding, ever.

please be open to respecting experiences you may not understand, particularly for those whose experiences are already highly stigmatized. to all the “weird” selfshippers and fictos - those of you with psychosis, those of you who take it “too seriously,” those of you who never want a real life partner - you are just fine the way you are, and you don’t need to change for anyone. as long as you’re happy and your selfships/ficto relationships make you happy, you have nothing to worry about and no one here to answer to. live your life according to your own needs and standards.

Don't tell me blaring your favorite music isn't therapeutic and beneficial to your health.

Anyone else only in their 20s but feel like they are running out of time to get their life together??