From-the-choirgirl-hotel-blog - Untitled

honestly...it’s ok to just use your skills on yourself! sewing clothes only you to wear, making art to hang up in your own personal area, singing and recording songs for you only to listen to...like not everything has to be for other people’s consumption!

You Are Allowed to Be Happy

Yo so I’m not a shining beacon of happy other-life memories and present-day alterhuman experiences. But I’ve noticed a problem lately where I’ve seen more and more people ask if they’re “valid” because they only have happy memories from their other lives, don’t experience species dysphoria, and are generally fine with being who they are. I’ve even seen some people discount and ignore their happy memories as not being important and go searching for unpleasant and bad ones.  So let me Validate™ you all right now. You are allowed to be happy. You’re allowed to have nothing but fond memories of other lives. You’re allowed to be happy with your body and physical form as it is now. You’re allowed to enjoy your identity and the experiences that come with it.  Please love yourselves and allow yourselves to be happy. Don’t make yourself miserable for the sake of feeling more important or real or whatever it is people seem to be getting out of all this. And furthermore, please love yourselves and realize that you don’t need the external validation of others. You need to find that within yourselves. I know that we live in a time – and this especially is a website – where a lot of young people are unsure of themselves, have so many potential labels to choose from, are just trying to fit in somewhere, and want to know if they count and belong. I know that it can be hard. But you need to learn that the only way you will ever feel satisfied in the validity of your experiences is when you acknowledge and accept them yourself for what they are.  Don’t change yourself or be made to feel like you aren’t really who you are just because there’s one common narrative that you don’t fit into. And if you truly feel like you belong somewhere and can’t find others like you – make a space. Make room for yourself and the people like you will eventually find you.  But above all, please. Please. Let yourself be happy if you are happy. Hold on to every shred of happiness you can, because that’s worth more than all the “tru kin suffering” in the world.

Shoutout to the self shippers with underrated, underappreciated, or down right HATED f/os. May the spite of the fandom never hinder your love. ❤❤❤

Anyone else only in their 20s but feel like they are running out of time to get their life together??

This message needs to be shared.

I wish more understood this. For me , I have been this way since I was a small child. For years after I became a teen I hid it from others cause of being made fun of.

I knew I was different when all my peers grew out of it and I remained. And that my feelings actually made my heart hurt.

Now here I am a grown woman, able to be open about it without shame or regret. I’m grateful for that and to know so many who share it with me.

💙💚💛💜

I personally believe that as a universe is written or created it comes into existence, and that time is fluid and non-linear and so all universes are always happening in the past, future and present all the same. This is why I have a hard time thinking my "kinself" is any different from me now, because I exist in the past, present and future. AUs and stuff are the same, in that they become a separate world with existing framework, just different. Just offering someone else's take on it. :3

Great perspective, anon! Very interesting.

He’s so precious 😍😭

what community is right for you?

hello! i thought this might be a good place to get started for resources. in my experience there are three large communities oriented toward a love of fictional characters, but it’s hard to tell where you might fit in best without more information. some people may fit in all three, and some may be drawn to only one.

the three communities i’m referring to are the selfship, fictoromantic/fictosexual and waifuist communities. they’ve all got their own internal sets of values and community culture. i’ve been involved in all three, so here’s what i’ve learned! this post will be updated with corrections as necessary.

selfshippers comprise a huge amount of those in relationships with fictional characters. the selfship community is very large, with the greatest portion of its presence on tumblr and deviantart. however, you’ll find selfshippers on many social media platforms.

selfship culture is a very nebulous thing because of the size of the selfship community. in general, selfshippers tend to treat their fictional relationships as media ships, and it varies from person to person AND ship to ship how serious any given commitment is. there are a good deal of minors in the community, as well as adults in their early and mid twenties. people older than that seem to be drawn to other communities, but obviously exceptions abound. there aren’t rules against polyamory.

fictoromantic/fictosexual communities are very different. in my experience the fict community is smaller and comprised of more adults, many over 25. fict communities usually treat these affections as an orientation rather than a lifestyle choice, in contrast to the other communities listed here. it seems many terms are shared with the selfship community (such as “fictional other”) but not always other things. ficts tend to be more serious about relationships to fictional characters, but that seriousness still varies from person to person, as there isn’t one accepted relationship model. there aren’t rules against polyamory, but some ficts do take offense to adults being interested in minor-age characters. the fict community is probably the smallest of the three, or at least has a very small tumblr presence.

waifuism is a little like selfship in that multiple people who consider themselves waifuists will inevitably disagree on a great deal. there are rules, and in my time i found rules are a very large part of any waifuist’s community experience, but they vary according to what community you’re in. because waifuism is usually perceived as a branch of anime culture, it tends to be pretty different from selfship OR fict communities. there are nearly no shared terms. attitudes about “3D” people range wildly, but such attitudes are generally a fair amount of discussion. the largest social media presences for waifuism are on reddit and on 4chan type boards. i only have experience with the two largest subreddits. polyamory is hotly debated here, as are many rules. depending on what particular community you’re in, people may be committed to the point of IRL celibacy or simply joking about a favorite character.

there’s certainly a lot going on when it comes to how people express their love and how they form communities. i’ve been deeply involved in these communities for about a year and a half, and i still get things wrong, so feel free to tell me about anything i should add or correct here. thanks for reading, and i hope it’s a helpful post!

👁

any reason why whenever I talk about interracial couples people automatically assume it means “one white person and one person of colour” or???