Any Reason Why Whenever I Talk About Interracial Couples People Automatically Assume It Means “one

what community is right for you?

hello! i thought this might be a good place to get started for resources. in my experience there are three large communities oriented toward a love of fictional characters, but it’s hard to tell where you might fit in best without more information. some people may fit in all three, and some may be drawn to only one.

the three communities i’m referring to are the selfship, fictoromantic/fictosexual and waifuist communities. they’ve all got their own internal sets of values and community culture. i’ve been involved in all three, so here’s what i’ve learned! this post will be updated with corrections as necessary.

selfshippers comprise a huge amount of those in relationships with fictional characters. the selfship community is very large, with the greatest portion of its presence on tumblr and deviantart. however, you’ll find selfshippers on many social media platforms.

selfship culture is a very nebulous thing because of the size of the selfship community. in general, selfshippers tend to treat their fictional relationships as media ships, and it varies from person to person AND ship to ship how serious any given commitment is. there are a good deal of minors in the community, as well as adults in their early and mid twenties. people older than that seem to be drawn to other communities, but obviously exceptions abound. there aren’t rules against polyamory.

fictoromantic/fictosexual communities are very different. in my experience the fict community is smaller and comprised of more adults, many over 25. fict communities usually treat these affections as an orientation rather than a lifestyle choice, in contrast to the other communities listed here. it seems many terms are shared with the selfship community (such as “fictional other”) but not always other things. ficts tend to be more serious about relationships to fictional characters, but that seriousness still varies from person to person, as there isn’t one accepted relationship model. there aren’t rules against polyamory, but some ficts do take offense to adults being interested in minor-age characters. the fict community is probably the smallest of the three, or at least has a very small tumblr presence.

waifuism is a little like selfship in that multiple people who consider themselves waifuists will inevitably disagree on a great deal. there are rules, and in my time i found rules are a very large part of any waifuist’s community experience, but they vary according to what community you’re in. because waifuism is usually perceived as a branch of anime culture, it tends to be pretty different from selfship OR fict communities. there are nearly no shared terms. attitudes about “3D” people range wildly, but such attitudes are generally a fair amount of discussion. the largest social media presences for waifuism are on reddit and on 4chan type boards. i only have experience with the two largest subreddits. polyamory is hotly debated here, as are many rules. depending on what particular community you’re in, people may be committed to the point of IRL celibacy or simply joking about a favorite character.

there’s certainly a lot going on when it comes to how people express their love and how they form communities. i’ve been deeply involved in these communities for about a year and a half, and i still get things wrong, so feel free to tell me about anything i should add or correct here. thanks for reading, and i hope it’s a helpful post!

“I don’t think you understand that those characters are just fictional-”

“Your protagonist is such a self insert—”

Bold of you to assume that every single oc I’ve ever made is not, in fact, a facet of my own identity

Character Mannerisms

Here’s some considerations for the tiny little details that can add a lot to a character. Figuring out these mannerisms can do a lot for conveying character traits through their normal actions rather than just their thoughts, dialogue, etc.

How’s their posture? There are more options than just sitting up straight or slouching a lot. What’s their most comfortable sitting position? Do they have a consistent posture or does it change depending on situation / present company? 

How’s their etiquette? Do they hold the door for people behind them? How do they handle handshakes and other kinds of typical contact? Does their language change or become more formal when speaking to strangers? To their elders? To their superiors? 

In a crowded space, do they get out of people’s way, or do people get out of THEIR way? 

How do they point something out? Pointing their finger? Nodding their head? A flippant wave of the hand?

What are their comfort gestures or self-touch gestures? Common comfort gestures include rubbing the back of the neck or gripping their own arms. Can they suppress these gestures or do they do them often?

Also consider the character’s common reactions to common emotions. Do they whoop when they’re excited? Do they tremble when angry? 

What parts of the body are the most expressive? Do they shuffle and stomp their feet a lot when agitated or excited? Are they a hand talker? Do they have an impressive range of motion with their eyebrows?

How do they sound? Do their car keys jingle as they walk? Do they drag their feet? Do their heels clack resoundingly on hard floors? Do they breathe loudly? Do they fidget in ways that make a lot of noise?

How do they handle eye contact?

Any behaviors they reserve for moments when they’re alone? (Or possibly among family/friends that don’t care?) Do they pick their nose? Do they bite their toenails? Do they sniff their armpits? Or do they not care if people see behavior like this?

Apart from comfort gestures, what else do they do to comfort themselves in trying times? What’s their go-to self care? What’s their comfort food? Where’s their safe space?

What are they doing with themselves as they’re suppressing emotion? Lip biting, fist clenching, and avoiding eye contact are common methods of coping with strong emotions.

I’m jus being honest

On the side note, it’s okay to not like and/or be uncomfortable of said ship (but don’t send threats or anything of the sort). You’re still valid.

Illustration by Bruce McNally for the month of October, from the 1984 FRAGGLE ROCK calendar. I’ll do one every month until the new year.

All criticism of any character in any given work that boils down to “X is a Mary Sue/Gary Stu” is bad criticism because it obfuscates the actual problem with those characters (bad writing and the breaking of the willing suspension of disbelief). Not to mention it’s disproportionately levied at female characters, it starts, it makes people focus more on arbitrary traits and filling out litmus test quotas instead of being balanced and often creating Anti-Sues due to the fixation on simple traits instead of actual organic character building.

I mean shit, Batman goes waay over the designated “50+/Bad Mary Sue” on the Mary Sue Litmus Test but people like Batman because Batman is an often interesting and well developed character, regardless of how many “Mary Sue Traits” boxes he ticks off.

The fear of creating a “Mary Sue” stifles creativity and often creates the Anti-Sue, a phenomena where a writer gets so caught up in not creating a “Mary Sue” because of superficial traits devoid of context that they create a character that is wholly unlikeable and yet is still the protagonist of the story.

Just call a bad character a bad character

Dusk in True Stories (1986)

i loves stars

For those of you who think that their paras or daydreams are cringy and are a bit ashamed of sharing things about them, please don’t. 

Our paras, paracosms and daydreams are primarily for ourselves, they don’t have to appeal to anyone else.