Foundinthegrass - WE KEEP WHAT BELONGS TO US

Reblog with your personality types bolded, for your own reference, or for your followers to get to know you better! Add some others if you know any (such as Hogwarts houses: not a typical personality test, but they give other people insight into what you’re like!). Ones with free online tests are linked.

Name: C.J.H.

Zodiac: Aries, Taurus, Gemini, Cancer, Leo, Virgo, Libra, Scorpio, Sagittarius, Capricorn, Aquarius, Pisces

Myers-Briggs [x]: ISTJ, ISFJ, INFJ, INTJ, ISTP, ISFP, INFP, INTP, ESTP, ESFP, ENFP, ENFJ, ESFJ, ESTJ, ESFJ, ENFJ, ENTJ.

The Four Temperaments [x]: Melancholic, Phlegmatic, Choleric, Sanguine 

Enneagram [x]: Type 1, Type 2, Type 3, Type 4, Type 5, Type 6, Type 7, Type 8, Type 9.

Hogwarts House [x, but Pottermore is better]: Hufflepuff, Gryffindor, Slytherin, Ravenclaw

Get to know me! Personality Types

It’s All A Fucking Joke, Right

In the few months I’ve been modding at fuckyeahasexual and touring ace Tumblr, there’s been a very. Steady. Stream of info that detail horrifically abusive situations and overall poor mental unhealth. Two a week in the inbox if I’m lucky, usually around seven-ten.

And there’s been so many, I can officially categorize all 500+ of these kinds of asks and submissions into an extensive bulletlist of Why Asexual Exclusionary Radicalism Is Incredibly Toxic And Shitty;

Coming Out To Family, Friends, And Employers

“My parents keep telling me that I’m something else, and it’s making me doubt my sense of judgement, not just about my sexual identity, but also about everything in general.”

“My family, friends, and co-workers keep referring to me as an inanimate object in a manner that’s clearly meant to humiliate and devastate me. Nothing I say will get them to stop.”

“My parents vocally/bodily forced me to undergo medical examinations, some of them concerning my sexual organs, many of them concerning blood tests and other trauma-centric procedures.”

“My family is intervening with my private life by changing my schedule to include exercise, socialization, friend influences, and whatever they think can ‘change’ me.”

“My friends/co-workers no longer respect my bodily boundaries when I came out to them, because they no longer see me as someone who should be respected. They regularly touch, fondle, grope, and prod me without permission, and/or verbally harass me, and don’t take my objections seriously.”

“My family, friends, and co-workers no longer just harass me, but also anyone I’m currently dating because they view my significant other as pathetic, underserved, or even being abused.”

First Few Days Of Dating

“My date got irrationally angry and confrontational when I came out to them, in a manner that made me fearful.” (SO many of these.)

“My date immediately lost any respect they had for my boundaries, no longer asked for consent, and {tried to} force themselves upon me.” (A lot of these, too)

“My date tried to verbally circumvent any boundaries and issues I confessed to, and it made me feel like I was in danger.”

“I didn’t come out to my date at first, and when they found out, they radically changed their behavior in an attempt to control and manipulate our new relationship to their benefit.”

Long-Term Relationships

“My partner has forcefully and radically changed our long-term relationship after finding out about my asexuality, and I’m now trapped and controlled in a way that I wasn’t before.”

“My partner broke up with me/is fighting with me because of my asexuality, and trying to make it seem like I’m hurting them. It’s made me doubt myself and my ability to trust my own intentions.”

“My partner is slowly changing from what was once supportive of my asexuality, and I’m wondering when I have the right to be worried and when I’d be overreacting. I’m aware of the worst case scenario, but I also worry that I’m being selfish and childish - which are things I’ve been told all throughout my asexual experience.”

Self-Care And Self Development

“I don’t trust my ability to say either yes or no in sexual situations, and this has extended to my life in general. I don’t feel comfortable in my ability to self-determinate.”

“The lack of authority, definition, and schooling of the concept of asexuality has made me very uncomfortable with what I think I am, and that uncertainty haunts me every waking moment.”

“I think it’s too late/too early to tell if I’m asexual, but the longer I hesitate, the worse my mental health and emotional wellbeing gets. I’m effectively stuck.”

“I see no benefit in coming out, or even identifying as asexual. There’s no positivity, role models, or supportive community for what I consider a big and scary part of my overall identity.”

“I think this was sexual abuse, but I’m wondering if I’m just being selfish and childish.”

“I think I was treated badly by my parents/friends/partner, but I’m wondering if I’m just being selfish and childish.”

“I want to believe that I’m deserving of equal freedom and human respect paid to other, not asexual people, but people tell me I’m being selfish and childish.”

“No one encourages this part of me. And that makes me feel forgotten and abandoned in general.”

Shut the fuck up about your petty beef with tumblr bloggers and youtubers and Archie comics or whatever. I literally do not care, I can’t care. I see these messages every goddamn day - this post was written and drafted a month ago, and I very easily compiled most of this bulletpoint list from scratch, just by eyeing what I see in the askbox and what comes across my dash. 

‘Ace discourse’ anger is empty and so meaningless. This is what I see by being part of this one 17k follow asexual ask blog for maybe half a year. I am so Done with all the faux rage posts and all the false positivity about how it’s ok to NOT be ace and all the acephobia that falls perfectly in line with the gaslighting typical of acephobia-101 while also having the audacity to claim it not so.

This is what’s real and I want to bleed it into your goddamn eyes.

Shout out to all the people who've existed in bi and aspec identities.

All the aspecs who thought they were bi because they experienced the same level of attraction to all genders. They just figured out that level was little to nothing.

All the bi folks who thought they were aspec but later found out what they were experiencing was attraction.

To all the bi aces who figured out how to understand the attraction they feel and that sexual attraction isn't needed for romance

To all the bi aros who came to understand that being sexually attracted to multiple genders doesn't mean they also have to be romantically attracted. And that that's ok.

To all the bi aroaces that experience attraction other than sexual and romantic and find it important enough to label.

I love all of you and I feel honoured to know your all a part of this world.

Thank you for answering this so thoroughly! Your response was fascinating. Little Simra poring over charcoal glyphs scratched over the hearth is one of my favorite bits of imagery so far. But most of all I relished the chance to learn more about Simra’s mother. As with Soraya, her presence is felt more immediately through her impact on Simra and his father than through the rare glimpses we get of who she was otherwise - for me, the effect is reminiscent of the feeling you get craning your neck to see something through a barred window or the slats of a fence. What details you do manage to pick out are all the more vivid for the strain of searching. For instance, I remember returning again and again in my mind for days after I’d read it to the image of a soft leather jacket left behind with Verru (unfinished?) after her death, that she’d intended as a wedding gift for Soraya.

I have to confess, though, about an hour after I sent my question off I suddenly remembered that I already knew that Simra’s parents were literate - he writes them both at least once, doesn’t he? And the letters for his father are couched in a rather touchingly careful Dunmeris, even. So I felt like a huge dork all morning. (⌒_⌒;) Guess I should have slept on it instead of rolling out of bed in the middle of the night to ask, huh?

If I remember correctly, most Ashlanders are illiterate, forgoing a written tradition in favor of an oral one. Assuming that Simra's parents follow convention in this, then how did Simra come by his letters? And what does Simra's mother in particular, as a former wisewoman-in-training, think of his unorthodox affinity for the written word?

[This is a very good question. Mostly because it does something my favourite questions do. It asks something for which I don’t already have an answer. But it asks something that needed to be asked. It’s something useful to me. So already, thanks for that.Simra’s parents were travellers of Ashlander extraction. They didn’t spend all their time with the Zainab. So yes, while they were raised within and each participated within an oral tradition - particularly on the part of Ishar, his mother - they were literate to one degree or another.It was actually Ishar, rather than Simra’s father, who was the better linguist, reader, and writer. His father never learnt more than a few things outside of Dunmeris. Her background gave her more of a respect for knowledge, however the knowers store it and keep it known, orally or literarily.Bringing up her children in Skyrim, it was she that educated them in mixed Tamrielic and Dunmeris: reading, writing, arithmetic, bits and pieces of history, theology. She would not have her children go without the skills that they’d need to live as something other than Ashlanders.Admittedly, young Simra paid more attention than Soraya. This learning did not come from reading, however, but through listening. Even Simra’s literacy comes from watching his mother scratch letters and words in charcoal above their fireplace. And the oral nature of these lessons is perhaps part of the reason Simra has such a good verbal memory.In short, Simra’s no Zainab. He’s Dunmer, and part of Morrowind’s diaspora. He’s of Zainab blood, raised by parents who were raised Zainab. He himself admits that he’s a Dunmer of Skyrim, however — inheritor of some Ashlander traditions, but barred off from others, and proud of both.So he’s an unorthodox Dunmer in one sense. But he was raised by an unorthodox womer, after all — why d’you think she didn’t ever become a full-fledged wisewoman? For the most part it was Ishar who refused to acclimatise to this new place and new culture, his heart living with his wife and children, but belonging back in the Grazelands.]

another important thing about solidarity within queer communities is that so many of us will identify with different labels (especially when we are young/still figuring out that we aren’t straight & cis to begin with) before figuring out how we identify longterm. E.g. gay people who start out identifying as bi, trans men who initially identify as butch lesbians, asexuals who at first identify as bisexual (because hey, that’s technically being equally attracted to multiple genders), and so on. In fact, most queer people, at one time or another, identified as cishet. So we of all people should be aware that figuring out our identities takes time, and is a winding path. 

And this is why solidarity in our communities is so important. And why gatekeeping is so dangerous. Because not only is each part of our community a longterm home, sanctuary, and support system for people of a certain identity, we also provide a path and an unofficial Welcoming Committee to new members of the wider LGBTQA+ community (especially young queer people, for whom a supportive welcoming is so important). And in turn, many of the people who find their way to us will be coming from a different part of the rainbow path. This is also why bigotry is so so damaging when it comes from within our communities, and why we each of us have a responsibility to examine our prejudices and acknowledge that being queer doesn’t automatically give us a pass–we are just as capable of bigotry as anyone on the outside, and in a unique position to do harm from within. Fight transphobia, fight aphobia, fight biphobia, fight racism and ableism and discrimination wherever you see it in our communities. And more than that, celebrate ALL the colors on our flags, and all of the diverse communities they represent. Solidarity makes us so much more powerful, as a community and as individuals. So I’d like to start by saying:

Welcome, everyone. It’s good to have you here.

"We need to recognize that for some people sex is great and for some sex is horrific and for some it’s on par with folding laundry."

(~Sex Isn’t Always Good by queenieofaces)

“take me to the book that you wish you could reread for the first time”

Hola Dudes and Dudettes, its giveaway time! (Woo! Its been ages!)

Just this week I got in a small heap of slightly misprinted keychains which I’d be uncomfortable selling but still make pretty nice prizes- I’m keeping a few back for conventions and things so even if you don’t win one here you’ll have more chances~ The misprint is that they’ve come out a little greyer and lighter than usual, but they’re still pretty cool.

Rules: 

Comments, Likes and Reblogs all count for a total of 3 entries!

Gotta be following this blog (I mean why would you want my art anyways if you weren’t?)

I’ll ship to anywhere in the world!

Giveaway ends 21st June (1 week)

Prizes!

1st Place: Any of the above badge sets and any keychain!*

2nd Place: Any of the above badge sets and any misprinted keychain!

Runners up (3 people): Any misprinted keychain!

*Subject to availability dudes, if a keychain design sells out in the next week or so I won’t have any more for a while. You can see the badges & keychains in more detail over on my Storenvy.

Keychains: Hannibal, Will Graham, Newton Geiszler, Hermann Gottlieb, Joan Watson, Sherlock Holmes, Daenerys Targaryen, Thranduil, Castiel and Spock.

Misprinted Keychains: Will Graham, Newton Geiszler, Thranduil, Castiel & Spock

Good Luck chaps!