In the few months I’ve been modding at fuckyeahasexual and touring ace Tumblr, there’s been a very. Steady. Stream of info that detail horrifically abusive situations and overall poor mental unhealth. Two a week in the inbox if I’m lucky, usually around seven-ten.
And there’s been so many, I can officially categorize all 500+ of these kinds of asks and submissions into an extensive bulletlist of Why Asexual Exclusionary Radicalism Is Incredibly Toxic And Shitty;
Coming Out To Family, Friends, And Employers
“My parents keep telling me that I’m something else, and it’s making me doubt my sense of judgement, not just about my sexual identity, but also about everything in general.”
“My family, friends, and co-workers keep referring to me as an inanimate object in a manner that’s clearly meant to humiliate and devastate me. Nothing I say will get them to stop.”
“My parents vocally/bodily forced me to undergo medical examinations, some of them concerning my sexual organs, many of them concerning blood tests and other trauma-centric procedures.”
“My family is intervening with my private life by changing my schedule to include exercise, socialization, friend influences, and whatever they think can ‘change’ me.”
“My friends/co-workers no longer respect my bodily boundaries when I came out to them, because they no longer see me as someone who should be respected. They regularly touch, fondle, grope, and prod me without permission, and/or verbally harass me, and don’t take my objections seriously.”
“My family, friends, and co-workers no longer just harass me, but also anyone I’m currently dating because they view my significant other as pathetic, underserved, or even being abused.”
First Few Days Of Dating
“My date got irrationally angry and confrontational when I came out to them, in a manner that made me fearful.” (SO many of these.)
“My date immediately lost any respect they had for my boundaries, no longer asked for consent, and {tried to} force themselves upon me.” (A lot of these, too)
“My date tried to verbally circumvent any boundaries and issues I confessed to, and it made me feel like I was in danger.”
“I didn’t come out to my date at first, and when they found out, they radically changed their behavior in an attempt to control and manipulate our new relationship to their benefit.”
Long-Term Relationships
“My partner has forcefully and radically changed our long-term relationship after finding out about my asexuality, and I’m now trapped and controlled in a way that I wasn’t before.”
“My partner broke up with me/is fighting with me because of my asexuality, and trying to make it seem like I’m hurting them. It’s made me doubt myself and my ability to trust my own intentions.”
“My partner is slowly changing from what was once supportive of my asexuality, and I’m wondering when I have the right to be worried and when I’d be overreacting. I’m aware of the worst case scenario, but I also worry that I’m being selfish and childish - which are things I’ve been told all throughout my asexual experience.”
Self-Care And Self Development
“I don’t trust my ability to say either yes or no in sexual situations, and this has extended to my life in general. I don’t feel comfortable in my ability to self-determinate.”
“The lack of authority, definition, and schooling of the concept of asexuality has made me very uncomfortable with what I think I am, and that uncertainty haunts me every waking moment.”
“I think it’s too late/too early to tell if I’m asexual, but the longer I hesitate, the worse my mental health and emotional wellbeing gets. I’m effectively stuck.”
“I see no benefit in coming out, or even identifying as asexual. There’s no positivity, role models, or supportive community for what I consider a big and scary part of my overall identity.”
“I think this was sexual abuse, but I’m wondering if I’m just being selfish and childish.”
“I think I was treated badly by my parents/friends/partner, but I’m wondering if I’m just being selfish and childish.”
“I want to believe that I’m deserving of equal freedom and human respect paid to other, not asexual people, but people tell me I’m being selfish and childish.”
“No one encourages this part of me. And that makes me feel forgotten and abandoned in general.”
Shut the fuck up about your petty beef with tumblr bloggers and youtubers and Archie comics or whatever. I literally do not care, I can’t care. I see these messages every goddamn day - this post was written and drafted a month ago, and I very easily compiled most of this bulletpoint list from scratch, just by eyeing what I see in the askbox and what comes across my dash.
‘Ace discourse’ anger is empty and so meaningless. This is what I see by being part of this one 17k follow asexual ask blog for maybe half a year. I am so Done with all the faux rage posts and all the false positivity about how it’s ok to NOT be ace and all the acephobia that falls perfectly in line with the gaslighting typical of acephobia-101 while also having the audacity to claim it not so.
This is what’s real and I want to bleed it into your goddamn eyes.
Hey folks! I’ve decided that if I want to improve the quality of my uniforms, I need to get my hands on a serger. A serger is designed to finish the edges of cut fabric and prevent fraying, even through repeated wear and machine washing, which is something any good cosplay should be able to do! Unfortunately I’m already breaking bank (on Trek cons and fanseries, haha), so to help cover the cost, I’m raffling off a custom Starfleet uniform!
The Rules:
I’ll ship anywhere within or beyond the United States
You must be 18+ or live with someone 18+ who doesn’t mind you sharing your address (this is just a legality thing)
You do not have to be following either of my blogs, but if you like Star Trek and cats, you should check out my main @slightly-oblivvyous
The raffle ends on July 2nd when I return from New York and the winner will be chosen by Random Number Generator
How to Enter:
To enter, donate at least $5 USD (currency converter) to my PayPal here (use this link if you don’t have PayPal). Put your tumblr url and preferred email address in the “Write a Note” field so I can contact you. (This is important!) Multiples of $5 count as multiple entries, so $9 only counts as one entry, but $10 counts as two. Reblogs don’t count as entries but are greatly appreciated.
Prize Tiers: The prize for the raffle depends on how many people participate. I must get at least 30 donations (or $150 total) for the raffle to go forward.
At 30+ entries, one winner will get a FREE* TOS uniform or TNG crop top
At 50+ entries, full jumpsuit-style uniforms (DS9/VOY, TNG) become available along with jacket-style tops
At 75+ entries, there will be two winners; the Grand Prize winner gets a uniform of their choice and the second place winner gets a TOS uniform
If there are 100+ entries, I’ll offer two Grand Prizes and cry
The winner(s) will be chosen on July 2nd and will receive an email with a link to my commission form to pick out their uniform(s)!
*NOTE: If you want a rank above Ensign, you’ll have to pay for rank braid – I have to order it online and the higher ranks ain’t cheap. Sorry! (Still, even if you went for Captain, you’d be getting a hella rad uniform for $30. That’s not bad.) And if you’re outside the US, you’ll have to cover part of the shipping cost.
Even if you can’t afford to enter or aren’t in the market for a uniform, please help a fellow Trekkie out and signal boost! LLAP!
IM LAUGHING SO HARD I DIDNT THINK SEXUAL DESIRE WAS A REAL THING LIKE I ALWAYS SAW PEOPLE TALKING ABOUT HOW THEY WANTED SEX BUT I THOUGHT THEY WERE JOKING OR EXAGGERATING OR SOMETHING THATS WHY IT WAS SO HARD FOR ME TO REALIZE I WAS ACE BECAUSE I THOUGHT IT WENT WITHOUT SAYING SEX ISNT THAT IMPORTANT IM 19 YEARS OLD I CANT STOP LAUGHING LITERALLY 99% OF THE POPULATION EXPERIENCES SEXUAL DESIRE AND I THOUGHT IT WAS A JOKE
Scrapbook #15: Xan (Click for full-size image.)
Other entries in this series: 16 14 13 12 11 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
The color gray can help reduce loneliness or sorrow. This is also a color for neutralizing or balancing energies.
*blows a kiss to the monitor* for fanfiction writers
Transcript below the cut:
Keep reading
With three rows of tents set aside just for medical services, and nearly all of them full, it said quite a bit about Leigh that she was given one of the smaller ones all to herself. Doctor Richards is nothing if not attentive—chary and cold though he may be, he’s one of the better doctors the NCR has in Nevada. Other patients were more deserving of his care, Leigh argues at least once a day, but neither he nor General Oliver will hear it.
(“You’re a goddamn hero in my book,” said Oliver while she was too weary and sore to understand just how high that praise was, coming from him. “Remind me to offer you a cigar when you’re healed up.”)
Though she insisted Boone be looked over, he refused and the doctor agreed with him. He didn’t have more than a few scratches and bruises, and those healed days ago. Boone watches her, a bit like the way a nurse watches his elderly charge—don’t you move, you’ll hurt yourself, let me get it, it’s really no trouble—and she smiles when she thinks of him as a caregiver. It’s foreign, but humorous in its way when she can envision him doting over someone’s darling grandmother or chasing an all-too spirited child.
The latter spurs an ache in her chest, one much different from the stitched-up wounds crisscrossing the same area. Imagining him as a father—a happy one at that—is one of those scenarios that could almost be possible. It hurts even more to think of it in those terms.
Keep reading
Boone - Preview for Scrapbook #16