And One More For The Road - Craig Boone X Courier 6

I have 300 followers! Just for kicks, I’ve decided to do a giveaway, but I don’t have fun things or what have you, all I have is a brain that dumps fic into the internet with fair regularity. So, that’s what I’ll give you.

You:

must be following me, since this is a follower giveaway

likes and...

YOU! ONCE YOU GET THIS, YOU HAVE TO SAY FIVE NICE THINGS ABOUT YOURSELF AND SEND IT TO TEN OF YOUR FAVOURITE FOLLOWERS

So, needlesslycryptic and sunderlorn both dropped this one in my inbox—I’m in the polarizing position of being both unspeakably (DOES THIS MEAN THAT I’M A *FAVORITE*?!) flattered and put out that now I’ve got to run my truant self-regard to ground and put it to work. Thank you both. <3

1. At any paid job, I’m uncommonly diligent. I arrive at the timeclock every day just in time to absently stare through it for two minutes, swipe my card with more force than is strictly necessary, and then I’m in. I work singlemindedly every second of my shift, with efficiency, speed, and focus as my watchwords. When I walk I keep my eyes forward, hands clasped behind my back, and never stop to socialize or chatter. When customers or coworkers come to confer with me or ask a question, I don’t stop working to answer. I do both at once. So, um… I’m not well-liked, but my results are. Hooray?

2. I never gossip, spill secrets, or kiss and tell.

3. If you and I ever eat together, I’ll always eat more—so, your powers of restraint will look greater by comparison.

4. The way I ramble in writing you’d probably never guess this, but I have a talent for silence. Like, I can honestly go weeks without saying a word. Comfortably.

5. I’m… not too shabby a gifter, if I do say so myself. In all seriousness, I tend to devote weeks or months before a holiday to obsessively trawling through my memories for every tiny instance in which my prospective giftee has expressed even the most offhand desire, going years back if necessary, until I light on the thing. And I live my life listening for those moments, mentally tucking them away to be brought out again as needed. It’s worth it to me, too—every time my mother, for example, finally breaks through my very deliberately selected giftwrap and tears up when she sees what’s inside, my skull just echoes with vindicated maniacal mental laughter.

Parvati Holcomb: The Unaccountably Happy Face of the Unreliable

The Outer Worlds, the new space RPG courtesy of Obsidian, helpfully provides your player character with exactly the sort of ragtag gang of misfits which you are probably expecting in such a game. Today, we’re going to talk about the most important of them. 

Parvati Holcomb, likely the first companion you meet and definitely the first companion you can recruit, is a well-written female-character. Her talents for engineering and her incredibly positive and cheerful outlook quickly draw comparison with the character of Kaylee from Firefly (allegedly one of the main inspirations for the character), but there is one very clear difference between the two. 

Parvati Holcomb is an asexual character. 

While the term “asexual” is never actually used in the game, Parvati’s experiences and worries were so obviously born form the real-life experiences of asexual people that I was not the least bit surprised that she had been written by an asexual woman: 

I was, however, properly delighted that Parvati had always been intended to be an asexual character, even before an asexual woman took over as Parvati’s writer; Chris L’Etoile, the original writer, explicitly made the decision to create a warm and loving character, someone who could see the beauty and hope in a failing colony, who could express all the wonder they wanted their players to feel, and then he decided to make her asexual as well. 

The stereotypical ‘link’’ between asexuality and ‘coldness’ is even explicitly referenced by Parvati herself, when she explains her fears about starting a new relationship: “I’m not much interested in… physical stuff. Never have been. Leastways not like other folk seem to be. It’s not that I can’t. I just don’t care for it. It’s been a problem, in the past. The folk who wanted to be with me, back in the Vale? They didn’t - They said I was cold.”

The first response offered to players? “You’re about the warmest person I ever met. To hell with them.” 

Indeed, The Outer Worlds is a game which, over and over again, tells us that Parvati is not cold or unfeeling. This is a young woman who names a robot the moment she fixes it, who worries if the Captain calls the ship’s computer “it”, who checks in with crew members and, in a game with a reputation system (rather than a Mass Effect style morality system), acts as the world’s most adorable conscience. 

And, while Parvati does find her relationship with Junlei complicated, those complications have very little to do with her sexuality and far more to do with her being a young woman, away from home for the first time, and experiencing possibly the first great love of her life. There are miscommunications, a night of drowning sorrows, endless over-analysing of each other’s words and actions, and the need to go to four different worlds just to plan a date. As the player character can say: 

PC: “If you two marry, you’ll be saying, ‘Haha, just kidding. Unless you’re not.’” Parvati: “I resent you saying such, on account of it being uncomfortably likely.”

But once Parvati has worked up the courage to tell Junlei who she is, the relationship works well. Well enough for Parvati to find a new home with Junlei once the fight is over: 

Now, I always expect an Obsidian game to have some awareness of the wider spectrum of human sexuality - Fallout New Vegas included some same-sex relationships, and the player character could be played as straight, gay or bisexual, depending on which perks you picked. But I wasn’t expecting the only great romance subplot in an entire game to include an asexual woman actively pursuing another woman. Were this just one relationship among many, it would still be beautiful, but for it to take centre-stage and not have to share that space with anything else? It’s phenomenal. 

And, just when I think that The Outer Worlds couldn’t get any more lovely, it did this: 

Yep, that’s the option to identify your character explicitly as asexual. There’s even the option just afterwards to clarify your character as aromantic as well, which Parvati takes perfectly in her stride with a nice little nod to the player’s strong relationships with their friends. Either revelation is meant with the same response from Parvati: 

“So we’re… we’re kin-like. That makes me, well - unaccountably happy, Captain. It’s a lonely thing, being different like this.” 

Judging from that reaction, the Captain is likely the first fellow asexual who Parvati has met, and the relief in her voice was such a punch to the gut. Because Parvati’s right - the loneliness of feeling “other” sinks in fast and there’s nothing quite like the relief when you finally feel like maybe you’re not alone after all. 

And the idea that this game and this character might give that moment of relief to someone out there, well, that just makes me unaccountably happy as well.

17 Questions

Rules: Answer these 17 questions and then tag 17 people to do the same.

Tagged: @the-halo-of-my-memory (Thank you~ 👉😉👉💖)

1) Nickname(s): Jack

2) Height: 5' 4½"... The inclusion of the half-inch suggests some amount of height insecurity, I know, but—hear me out ☝️—what with my (maternal) great-grandfather and grandmother both being career carpenters, it’d probably curdle my blood to provide inaccurate measurements.

3) Amount of Sleep I Got: Just under 10 hours.

4) Lucky Number: 3 and/or 9

5) Zodiac: Taurus ♉

6) Aesthetic: Second-Generation Goth 💀🖤

7) What I'm Wearing: A blue floral print housecoat with white lace at the collar and cuffs. *mutters* And I’m already undermining my goth credentials, incredible... 😌 🌼

8) Dream Job: In this economy? Anything that’ll keep me financially solvent.

9) Favorite Author(s): Jane Austen, Arthur Conan Doyle, Zora Neale Hurston, F. Scott Fitzgerald

10) Song Stuck in My Head: Dua Saleh - mOth

11) Favorite Song: Peppino Gagliardi - Che Vuole Questa Musica Stasera

12) Favorite Instrument(s): Plucked string instruments. My (paternal) grandmother had a lap harp that she used to prop up her romance novels on the shelf and the looks I lavished on that thing likely outdid the ones exchanged between their pages.

13) Favorite Animal: Cats 🐈

14) Favorite Animal Noise: That trilling little chirp cats make when they greet you. 

15) Following: 1,205 tumblrs

16) Last Thing I Looked Up: "1/2 symbol"

17) Random: “You kiss me with your mouth wide open like you're not afraid of swallowing poison. I taste the good and bad in you and want them both. We call this bravery.” - Anita Ofokansi, Literary Sexts

Tagging: @therealmnemo @fandomn00blr @heartsyhawk @the-horae @jellydishes (But only if you'd like~ ✍️✨)

Asexual Awareness Week: Day 2

[IMAGE: A 9x9 aesthetic layout; the images are as follows, top to bottom, left to right: A person launching a Chinese lantern, A crumpled up piece of paper with “Don’t Forget Me” written on it, a bed of flowers of varying shades of purple, “You are good enough” written on a purple note, A white neon light in the shape of a realistic heart, A hand covered in purple, blue and white paint, A hand rising out of purple and blue smoke, A notebook and palette of purple paints, A newspaper with “You are born and then you die, but in between you can do anything you want. It’s society that creates rules for us, but you can break out of that” in enlarged text.]

*blows a kiss to the monitor* for fanfiction writers

Scrapbook #5: Santa Monica 1540 (Click for full-size image.)

Other entries in this series: 16 15 14 13 12 11 10 9 8 7 6 4 3 2 1

Finally got my next giveaway info up! If ya want a drawing like this from me, reblog this post! (Character can be from any time period, btw!) You can reblog as many times as ya want, but tumblr only registers one reblog per tumblr account; reblogging more than once just repositions your name in the number order. Anyways, just wanted to say thanks to everybody who follows me for your support and the kind words you always have for me. Means so much to me; thank you~

Want to Talk About Ace Community? - Undergraduate Research Study

Hello! My name is Laura, and I’m studying asexual identity and online community for my bachelor’s essay. Tumblr played a huge role in developing my asexual identity, so I am curious about others’ experiences. I am looking for participants who are 18 years or older and identify anywhere on the ace spectrum to interview about the role online community has or has not played in asexual identity development and expression.

I am a student at the College of Charleston undertaking a research study for my bachelor’s essay on asexual identity and online community. The purpose of the study is to promote a more nuanced understanding of asexual identity by exploring the significance of online community in the lives of asexual individuals.

This study will combine qualitative research and journalism, resulting in a final paper that will be accessible to readers outside of academia. I hope that this approach will help raise awareness and increase understanding of asexuality.

I will conduct one-on-one interviews with participants, which will last at least 30 minutes and cover topics related to asexual identity and social network activity.

For more information, please contact me @flyingtothesea or cergoll@g.cofc.edu. 

This research study has been approved by College of Charleston Institutional Review Board for the Protection of Human Research Participants. Approval code: GLFL-10-11-2016

It’s All A Fucking Joke, Right

In the few months I’ve been modding at fuckyeahasexual and touring ace Tumblr, there’s been a very. Steady. Stream of info that detail horrifically abusive situations and overall poor mental unhealth. Two a week in the inbox if I’m lucky, usually around seven-ten.

And there’s been so many, I can officially categorize all 500+ of these kinds of asks and submissions into an extensive bulletlist of Why Asexual Exclusionary Radicalism Is Incredibly Toxic And Shitty;

Coming Out To Family, Friends, And Employers

“My parents keep telling me that I’m something else, and it’s making me doubt my sense of judgement, not just about my sexual identity, but also about everything in general.”

“My family, friends, and co-workers keep referring to me as an inanimate object in a manner that’s clearly meant to humiliate and devastate me. Nothing I say will get them to stop.”

“My parents vocally/bodily forced me to undergo medical examinations, some of them concerning my sexual organs, many of them concerning blood tests and other trauma-centric procedures.”

“My family is intervening with my private life by changing my schedule to include exercise, socialization, friend influences, and whatever they think can ‘change’ me.”

“My friends/co-workers no longer respect my bodily boundaries when I came out to them, because they no longer see me as someone who should be respected. They regularly touch, fondle, grope, and prod me without permission, and/or verbally harass me, and don’t take my objections seriously.”

“My family, friends, and co-workers no longer just harass me, but also anyone I’m currently dating because they view my significant other as pathetic, underserved, or even being abused.”

First Few Days Of Dating

“My date got irrationally angry and confrontational when I came out to them, in a manner that made me fearful.” (SO many of these.)

“My date immediately lost any respect they had for my boundaries, no longer asked for consent, and {tried to} force themselves upon me.” (A lot of these, too)

“My date tried to verbally circumvent any boundaries and issues I confessed to, and it made me feel like I was in danger.”

“I didn’t come out to my date at first, and when they found out, they radically changed their behavior in an attempt to control and manipulate our new relationship to their benefit.”

Long-Term Relationships

“My partner has forcefully and radically changed our long-term relationship after finding out about my asexuality, and I’m now trapped and controlled in a way that I wasn’t before.”

“My partner broke up with me/is fighting with me because of my asexuality, and trying to make it seem like I’m hurting them. It’s made me doubt myself and my ability to trust my own intentions.”

“My partner is slowly changing from what was once supportive of my asexuality, and I’m wondering when I have the right to be worried and when I’d be overreacting. I’m aware of the worst case scenario, but I also worry that I’m being selfish and childish - which are things I’ve been told all throughout my asexual experience.”

Self-Care And Self Development

“I don’t trust my ability to say either yes or no in sexual situations, and this has extended to my life in general. I don’t feel comfortable in my ability to self-determinate.”

“The lack of authority, definition, and schooling of the concept of asexuality has made me very uncomfortable with what I think I am, and that uncertainty haunts me every waking moment.”

“I think it’s too late/too early to tell if I’m asexual, but the longer I hesitate, the worse my mental health and emotional wellbeing gets. I’m effectively stuck.”

“I see no benefit in coming out, or even identifying as asexual. There’s no positivity, role models, or supportive community for what I consider a big and scary part of my overall identity.”

“I think this was sexual abuse, but I’m wondering if I’m just being selfish and childish.”

“I think I was treated badly by my parents/friends/partner, but I’m wondering if I’m just being selfish and childish.”

“I want to believe that I’m deserving of equal freedom and human respect paid to other, not asexual people, but people tell me I’m being selfish and childish.”

“No one encourages this part of me. And that makes me feel forgotten and abandoned in general.”

Shut the fuck up about your petty beef with tumblr bloggers and youtubers and Archie comics or whatever. I literally do not care, I can’t care. I see these messages every goddamn day - this post was written and drafted a month ago, and I very easily compiled most of this bulletpoint list from scratch, just by eyeing what I see in the askbox and what comes across my dash. 

‘Ace discourse’ anger is empty and so meaningless. This is what I see by being part of this one 17k follow asexual ask blog for maybe half a year. I am so Done with all the faux rage posts and all the false positivity about how it’s ok to NOT be ace and all the acephobia that falls perfectly in line with the gaslighting typical of acephobia-101 while also having the audacity to claim it not so.

This is what’s real and I want to bleed it into your goddamn eyes.