I Considered Completely Scrapping 7 Days 7 Movies After The First Post Completely Flopped, But I Figured

guide to being the dark academic you’ve always aspired to be

1. stand in the middle of a lake staring at the way the moonlight reflects off the blood on your hands

2. start using words with more syllables because it sounds smarter and you need everyone to know how smart you are so they won’t know you bribed your way into the gentleman’s club

3. cover your chin with a black scarf so people can’t see the scar you got from turning the pages of the encyclopaedia too quickly

4. clutter your room with things that you bought from old charity shops, so you can watch them collect dust (and so you won’t have to look at that mysterious red stain on the floor)

5. buy a coffin to sleep in (you can find one secondhand if it’s too expensive - don’t worry, that just adds to the mystique). 

6. string balls of cosy yarn across the floor, lest any intruders come. this way, you can catch them easily. 

7. spell your name wrong to prevent identity theft

8. cut all your hair off in an attempt to become someone else and then send the locks to your neighbours (don’t provide context)

9. dig yourself a grave four feet to the left of the nearest skyscraper

10. don’t look behind your shoulder or you’ll see her. donna. 

april aches (among added actions)

google dictionary really came in handy for the title this time i missed out march my bad, it's in my drafts somewhere, i'll post it another time. anywaysss, its the easter holidays and i should be studying but i really don't have the motivation, which sucks alot because exams are soon and i still have all of macbeth to cover. at this rate i really don't think my gcse grade goals are going to happen. MINIMUM i wanted 7s in everything and a 6 in french. however, right now it's looking like a whole ton of 5s my 16th birthday is tommorow! oh and my first official exam (french speaking) is on the 25th wish me luck i'll turn it all around Amimi

coming back from ncs (week one) [pt 2]

in case you haven't read pt 1 i hate that i cant post it at once. but carrying on! thursday was definitely the most interesting, watersports was the main event, canoeing and rafting, i almost drowned (i'll get back to that) . so first off we went rafting and just waded around the quarry while also panicking and failing to row away from our other demonic friends, got soaked after having water flicked at us and then row back to shore. everyone was screaming and it was terrifying but amazing. we were getting ambushed and had more water flicked at us as we got onto the canoes, there was a conga line with all 200 people in the marquee and big talent show where i sat next to who im calling bracelet boy (i realised how much i actually liked him after he snapped my glowstick bracelet and my cheeks burst into flame) , i made my first moves towards bracelet boy and accidentally accumulated a squad of wingmen including my ATL.

i probably could've written a whole post about thursday night by itself. i snuck out with two of my best wingmen and we went stargazing and listened to music in the night, i had nettle stings all over my legs and our cameras couldn't pick up the stars but i wouldn't change a thing. we were tucked away in the corner of the campsite in the dark and whenever we saw a flashlight we turned everything off and lied down in the grass while trying not to laugh. at one point we thought we saw boys sneak out of the tents and went to go check which was such an adrenaline rush, upon approaching we heard the voice of a stern staff member and started running, a flashlight quickly approaching and i tripped and grazed my knee but kept running which we laughed about as soon as we got into one of the tents. it was the most exhilarating thing i have ever done.

friday i talked to bracelet boy more and packed away, socialised, play games and made more friends, we took group pictures and i got bracelets insta (i'm screaming internally i've never liked someone so much). he's adorable (is that the right word to describe someone twice your height?) and said our final goodbyes as we got ready to go.

i would do anything to go back. it felt like something out of a dream.

there's so many things that i probably missed but i'll likely come back and edit this post later that's all for now! ~ Amimi

[ Mon, 1st August - 20:27] [ i think i lost the glowstick bracelet :( but i plan on making him a bracelet for when i confess ]

i know i talked about buying the tweed jacket in the end but i didn’t have enough money so i bought a puma hoodie instead lmao

broke academia things

curling up in the corner of a public library and pretending you live there 

taking pictures of the ruins of your local cathedral because you need those aesthetic pictures for your blog

staring longingly at the tweed jacket you’ll never afford in the shop window

wearing the same red turtleneck (the only one you happen to own) in every outfit you can in a hundred different ways

staring longingly at the tweed jacket in the shop window

impulsively buying the tweed jacket and putting yourself in financial debt for the sake of aesthetic (totally worth it) 

movies (for when you want to cry)

believe it or not, my blog was supposed to be all about movies and film (thus the name filminah, innovative i know) i don't know if i enjoy torturing myself or what but here are some movies that made me cry. when marnie was there (anime 2014) - follows teen anna sasaki through a journey of self exploration that takes place due to a mysterious girl she meets named marnie. now, this is definitely not the best ghibli film ever, a little awkward at times especially in the dub but yonebayashi hiromasa does not know how to make a bad movie. the twist was kinda expected but it's ghibli and it's so damn charming you can't help but get attached to anna and marnie and feel everything the way they do. i want to eat your pancreas (anime 2018) - the title is weird, i know. an introverted boy, haruki finds out the secret of his very popular, bubbly polar-opposite-of-him classmate named sakura. she is affected with a severe pancreatic disease. the way they build the connection between the main two characters is so so good to watch, fulfilling what you know will happen in the most unexpected way and showing the aftermath of the movies major events. a silent voice (anime 2016)- this was the first movie i ever found sad enough to make me cry actual tears. ishida shoyo bullied a nishimiya shouko in middle school. shouko is deaf. now a highschooler, after being unable to commit s**c*d* he finds himself becoming friends with shouko, helping her get better and maybe himself along the way. imo this film is one of the best representations of a lead with struggling mental health and they show that incredibly well in both visuals and dialogue, kyoto animation always impresses with their work and the sound work is impeccably done with the way they establish an atmosphere or put you in a characters shoes, embodying them. link to pt 2 (to be added)

being someone with brown eyes comes with great responsibility

january journey (jovialess)

i don't think jovialess is even a word but it is now. sorry this post is a bit late, i've been super busy. this month felt so long??? so many things have happened that i can't recall them off of the top of my head. fell out with some people, had my first mock exams (they weren't amazing but i wasn't crying so that's something!) stressed and stressed and stressed about school work. like it didn't actually hit me until now that i'm in sixth form. growing up feels weird. until next time Amimi

recently i've been having those kind of dreams where its just better scenarios of things i regret and mistakes i made but done right- mended friendships and happier times. it's so real and so tangible that when i wake up it takes me a few minutes to realise. maybe i'll even remember text convos and then i'll check and realise it's not there. that's it's not real after all. i have a theory that dreams are just created from thoughts and repressed memories that linger in the back of your mind, which come to the forefront and get muddled together which is why they become so weird (well at least ik some of my dreams are).

moving forward

00:05am - written immediately after previous post. my tumblrs been neglected due to my focus on other social media and shitty life stuff in general. planning to focus my spare time and attention solely on here and on this blog, i’ll probably move away from dark academia and shift towards my more recent interests and studyblr things but i’m unsure as to what exactly yet.  having champage problems and in dire need of sleep ~ Amimi